Politics!

Vote, my fellow sufferers and suffragettes. It's your duty.

Write-ins and other important propositions and issues below. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 44 (October 31, 2012)

Well, this is it. Grief counselors are standing by in the comment section. Feel free to use them. It's funny that Seinfeld was mentioned yesterday, because we are going back to the old format- a balog about nothing. However, if you have any suggestions or any interest in possibly doing a guest piece, feel free to drop me an e-mail. I check it at least monthly. Remember, the 50 days may be up, but the HATE will live on.

On that note, I believe I recently voiced my opinion on non-additive covers. And I probably don't need to explain my position on this band. I really could have chosen their other song any of their other songs, but this one is probably the most indefensible. Seriously, what did this add to the original? Exponentially inferior vocals and an obnoxious organ? SIGN ME UP!!! Naturally, it was a hit, but if we've learned nothing else from this exercise, we should take a good hard look at this list and realize that the American public has a long way to go when it comes to HATE. I'm here to do my part.

The good music returns tomorrow. Regardless of what lies above it, the space below is what matters. It was yours for the last 50 days, and it remains as such. I can't make you use it, but don't say I didn't remind you. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 43 (October 30, 2012)

I guess the technical diffrugalgies of that other nightly craproom weren't reason enough to partake in a rousing MKMUAN sesh. I just don't know what you people want anymore. Regardless, balog analytics tell me that we have 6 readers who reside along the Eastern Seaboard, and I hope each and every one of you are hunkered down safely. With internet access. I know I won't be letting some storm that sounds like a mischievous Brady Bunch guest character stop me from carrying out my important duties. And so, on we go.

If this song didn't serve as the annoying Pavlovian signal to scramble for my remote control, it would still be a rightful target for HATE. For it stands firmly on its own (pile of shit). But, as a great man who had the misfortune of a loose association with it once famously said, "It doesn't help." According to my unquestionable sources, this turd was actually co-written by the producers of the terrible show it represented, which makes them responsible for TWO unspeakable crimes against humanity. Yet they roam free. I don't really have to go over the lyrics, do I? (Coincidentally- that was the exact response of the primary songwriter when revisions were suggested prior to recording.) This vapid atrocity somehow reached number one on the U.S. Top 40 Mainstream and Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks charts. Could it be a better musical reflection of the show's audience??? Amiwhite???

Remember, the 50 days actually ends on Halloween. So the HATE is over after tomorrow. Well, this particular HATE anyway. Please try to contain your disappointment. I'll find something new for you all to not read.

The balog may be stuck in second gear, but at least it's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 42 (October 29, 2012)

Man, am I ever drained. DRAINED! Not from balogging, but from all the other obligations of my daily life. As a brilliant and clever man once said, "Life is a highway," and mine has been like an Autobahn lately.

So, as expected, this post is coming out late (LIKE ANDERSON COOPER!1!1!!!), especially for you East Coasters. I sincerely apologize for what is obviously the biggest disruption in all of your lives on this otherwise worry-free day.

Will this be the first comment-free post in balog history? A study of recent trends would seem to suggest the possibility. Oh, the excitement! Here's a horrible song to commemorate this potentially epic day. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 41 (October 27-28, 2012)

A little housekeeping note- for reasons I don't care to get into, Monday's post may either be quite incoherent or quite late, or quite late and incoherent. I apologize in advance for the monumental disruption this will cause   for my fan.

Now, I've been told by a certain blogsnob who stole my initials that I need to put a little more effort into my write-ups, despite my insane schedule and lack of readership. So...onto the HATE.

Man, this is absolute horseshit. Taking THIS and adding some obnoxious backing music... VOILA!

The song was the winner of the 1995 Grammy Record of the Year and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance and was nominated for Song of the Year. The song is her biggest US hit, peaking at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, number one on the Adult Contemporary chart ^[1] and also reaching #4 on the UK Singles Chart.

Are you fucking kidding me? What is wrong with people??? They're the worst.

I have a well-documented (to my figurines) issue with covers. Specifically, if you're not adding anything to them musically or vocally, they're bullshit. So how do you think I feel about a vocally weak "singing" of a poem? You guessed it. The same way I feel about a spoken-word version of a song that America inexplicably slurped all over. Someday all you hipsters will come around to worship me, since I HATEd these lazy "musical" nothings before it was cool.

Put on your Guy Who costumes below. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 40 (October 26, 2012)

Remember when the sexiness in R&B was just there, without having to be forced into it by embarrassingly literal lyrics?

It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 39 (October 25, 2012)

Fact: I've never listened to this song.

Fact: I don't need to.

I've been trolled by a pop superstar. HATE is the only option. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 39 (October 24, 2012)

It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 38 (October 23, 2012)

So I just watched the latest episode of Dexter, and I'm reminded why my love holds strong. Few shows in recent memory are quite as polarizing. Critics, somewhat justifiably, take issue with the over-the-top nature that toes the line of shark-jumping. Supporters, more rightfully, understand that this is part and parcel for a show based on a borderline absurd storyline that is to be granted leeway if accepted from the start, and that the thrill of the underlying thematic challenge of traditional morals trumps the increasingly difficult suspension of disbelief that is required to get us there. I admit to being just about the worst disbelief-suspender the world has ever known, but I look past the unfathomable escapes, feats of superhuman strength, and increasingly cartoonish villains because they all lead back to a moral question that I find both fascinating and almost uncomfortably identifiable. An ex of mine, who I am on good terms with, once told me that I remind her of Dexter. I was a bit confused, yet not insulted. I don't look like him, I am not a blood spatter analyst, and I have certainly rarely never taken a life. I choose to believe that she was referring to the strength of my moral conviction to challenge conventional notions of "good", rather than my penchant for plastic wrap. Either way, at the end of last night's episode, when Deb bemusedly asks what her gladness over Dexter's latest kill means, I spit out his answer in my head before he uttered the word. "Human." That's how it makes me feel week after week, in a way that is complex and thrilling, and that's why I remain on board. And Homeland, I can't even get started right now. Undeniable greatness that calls for a write-up of its own. Look for that within a few weeks if interested.

Oh, HATE??? Let's see... Dexter's last name is Morgan. There is a country singer named Lorrie Morgan. This song is everything that is wrong with country music. And I'm sure Kevin Bacon may have boned Lorrie Morgan while listening to it.

It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 37 (October 22, 2012)

Another exhilarating weekend! I don't even know how I have energy left to put this masterwork together, but I'll give it a shot.

You know what's a good indicator that a song is terrible? Your dorky social studies teacher incorporating it into his lesson plan. IT MENTIONS PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT WERE ONCE PEOPLE AND THINGS!!! HISTORY!!!!!!!

But hey, it was groundbreaking. Until this, there really wasn't a musical template for things like reciting your grocery list, or naming the colors in the Crayola 64 box. Burnt Sienna, Raw Umber, 62 is now the number, Periwinkle, Forest Green, CRAYONS AREN'T TOYS OR FIGURINES!!!

I can't take it anymore either, Billy. At least it's "catchy", right? It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 36 (October 20-21, 2012)

We're still doing that mail-it-in-on-the-weekend thing, right? If not, tell me. I can always come back and do a real write-up.

Don't rule out chatting down below this weekend. I know you're busy baking mani-COT-ti with fresh ri-COT-ta, and chauffeuring your kids around to their Kara-TAY lessons and all that, but they can be late. I'm sure Sensei Anderson will understand.  There will be weather, and food, and sprots! A veritable cornucopia for Guy Whoing. You can always talk about music, too. But probably not this song. Because the HATEability really requires no further elaboration. Right? RIGHT??? It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 35 (October 19, 2012)

Well, the good thing about being drunk right now, and having a history of posts met with crickets, is that I don't have to worry too much about elaborating on my HATE target of the day. So, here it is. I HATE the dude's voice, the way the guitars are tuned, and basically everything this stands for. Easy, no???

I could get into all kinds of musicological depths, but why? It is what it's always been. Your place to yap about whatever you want. So, here it is. Use it. That's the reason why it's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 34 (October 18, 2012)

Well, this is unprecedented. A three-time HATEE!!!

It's a horrible song about a movie I will never see! There should be some sort of rule about rappers and movies, and how the two shall not intersect. Yes, I know there have been some cases of legitimate rapper/actor fusion, but when was the last time a rapper's music got better after they started doing movies? I'll wait for your answer...

This is embarrassingly awful. Absolutely cringe-worthy. Besides the obnoxious and cliche re-worked funk sample, the worst thing about this cash grabbing parasite is how the atrocious lyrics are literally tied to the movie. "Eye of the Tiger" does not say, "Rocky's up, back off the canvas. He throws a hook, misses wildly..."  Not that it's a great song, but it's a famous movie song that came to mind, and you get what I'm saying. Soundtrack songs generally abstractly encompass a theme that can be tied into the film; not lyrically narrate the screenplay. I'm sure some respectable tracks have employed this tactic, but I can't think of any, and this certainly isn't one. "Here come the Men in Black... Galaxy defenders..." OOF!

On the bright side, being a three time HATEE means that you must have done something I liked at some point, as I chose specific turds rather than employing the here-is-a-random-representation-of-your-entire-body-of-shit tactic (see: Hinder, Buckcherry, LMFAO). So, head up, Willie. Underneath that giant pile of money and the trappings of international super-stardom lies a young rapper who was once free from this balogger's seething scorn. I hope you can take some small bit of solace in that.

It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 33 (October 17, 2012)

Last night I watched the USMNT and the ALCS. During commercials, I switched to UL-Lafayette at North Texas. This is how much I value politics. Does this make me a bad citizen? I did switch over to that bitchfest for about 90 seconds, during which I heard nothing but the indecipherable gibberish of two dick-swinging suits and an in-over-her-head woman trying to talk over each other. Democracy! If I wanted to hear three people trying to talk at the same time, I'd just watch an interview with Carrie Fisher, amirite???

Since we're talking about a lack of interest in debates, I might as well run with the theme. For this one surely needs no moderators, interactive polls, or equal time provisions. HATE takes it in a landslide. But hey, we can still talk about the issues. I mean, everyone's watching, and they gave me a key to this beautiful Town Hall. Might as well head inside. 

It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 32 (October 16, 2012)

Lately I've gotten in the habit of pulling off my pillowcases while I sleep. I'm not sure what this means, but it's the kind of riveting stuff you can plan on enjoying when this smash hit of a feature ends in two weeks.

Speaking of smash hits, why? Why??? Why did everyone love this one??? Oh yeah, catchy. An astute reader once pointed out that I seem to HATE "catchy" songs, and that's not entirely off. But it's not entirely true, either. I mean, we all agree that this is the greatest song in the history of recorded music, and it's certainly "catchy" to me. So there! I struggle to specifically articulate where "catchy" leads to HATE for me, but it might be an overly repetitive beat, riff, or chorus. It might be an overly kind substitute for "gimmicky", with the proliferation of crappy songs that are designed to create an obnoxious, t-shirt ready catch phrase or an instantly played out white bread wedding dance craze. And almost always, "catchy" leads to the "Hey, you gotta hear this!" inescapability that is a surefire way to cannibalize any likability that may have been there initially.

There was none for this "catchy" little number. Not from the start. I can HATE this tune in one note. Put on your bumblebee suits and sting me with your criticism below. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 31 (October 15, 2012)

Hey, guys! Great job over the weekend! Way to capitalize on that momentum, and all that positive encouragement I heaped on you!!! It's not like there was anything to talk about. It certainly wasn't an incredibly captivating weekend in both college and pro football. I mean, sprots! Amirite???

Also, it's not like a Guy Who Newly Defines Psychopath jumped from SPACE or anything, like it was the platform at the local Y. And if he would have, it's not like it would have been the most batshit thing to occur on live TV since Artie Lange christened Joe Buck. Meh, it's just JUMPING FROM FUCKING SPACE! No biggie. Science nerds assured his safety. Kind of an over-hyped guinea pig, if you ask me. Try blowing a line off of one of Saturn's rings on the way down next time, Super Dave Osbroune!!!

The total jump was allegedly 24 miles. To put that into perspective, that's 476 MILES LESS THAN THIS SONG I FUCKING HATE SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS AND IT MIGHT BE THE WORST ON MY ENTIRE LIST BECAUSE I LOATHE IT BEYOND DESCRIPTION AND NO MATTER WHERE AND WHEN IT MAKES AN APPEARANCE EVERYONE WILL CHEER AND SING ALONG WHILE I SEETHE LIKE SOME TWILIGHT ZONE PROTAGONIST!!!

I can't take it anymore. This has been in my back pocket for so long that it's time to pull the rip cord and see what happens. Entering the atmosphere... Here comes the chute... IT'S OPEN!!!

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 30 (October 14-15, 2012)

Yesterday was the most enjoyable day around here in awhile. To me, anyway. We You guys really brought it. Song analysis complete with links and quizzes, Guy Whoing, fake political ads... It was everything that a ball-log (wink) should be. I told you I'm not the one who provides the content even though I make half of the comments!  More like that, please!

Now let's get to some HATEin'. It's been awhile since you guys have gotten riled up over one of my choices, and I'm not going to manufacture controversy. But I expect some here. For I genuinely do HATE this song. Not a fan of the band, not a fan of the genre. Not a fan of tatted up shirtless dudes.  But most of all, me ears no likey. I also didn't smoke the reefer in college. Nor do I  now. So perhaps this whole phenomenon is simply beyond my comprehension; like geometry, Microsoft Excel, or the concept of "friendship". But I'll tell you what I can comprehend. HATE-in', it's what I got...

Remember this. It's the weekend. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 29 (October 12, 2012)

Does anyone have a balog to plug??? I won't allow that. But if you have a blog to plug, that's pretty much what I'm here for. There's going to be a giant space below this video of a song I HATE (and holy shit, do I ever HATE it), where pretty much  anything goes. I'm not one to tell anyone what to do, but methinks a wise usage of said space would be to remind our 12 readers that there might be other places on the Googlenet where the writeups are actually about something. Now, I can't guarantee that the comment sections on such sites will maintain the same level of quality control, but it's worth a shot, no??? Let's find a spot worthy of our eyeballs and commentary. List your suggestions below. I'll meet you over there. I can only hope that when we get there, it's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 28 (October 11, 2012)

Here's a design that undoes most of the incredibly offensive joke I made to unsuccessfully make a point. Here's a song I HATE. Here's a space underneath it where people used to talk about stuff. It's open.

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 27 (October 10, 2012)

Well, you guys seem to have taken really well to the new Jinka system. In fact, I was so impressed with one particular commenter that I ended up allowing him to submit today's writeup. Below this song that I HATE is said writeup, straight from the esteemed Anonymous via my Inbox. I haven't read it, but I'm going to show some blind deference to a commenter just this once. Obviously, I don't generally do this for the comments. No offense, but that would be silly. And I don't DO silly. This isn't the place for it.

Hey, brahs. Anonymous here. Perhaps you know me from my legendary comments such as this one. You may have seen my work on countless other sites as well, although it's hard to verify because my handle has spawned literally millions of knockoffs. You know, sincerest flattery and all that...

Anyhoo, time for real talk. Can you believe the audacity of this asshole? I mean, at first I thought the redesign must be some kind of joke, but as amazing as it seems, I was wrong.  You've got to believe that even this fucko prick wouldn't pull a stunt like this without leaving some kind of subtle clue, and I'm not going to go reading the writeup or anything like that to look for it. So, with that thorough investigation wrapped up, it goes without saying that I am rightfully enraged. 

As I mentioned in last night's comment, a blog (Yes, BLOG. I refuse to say that stupid fucking Hungarian version or whatever it is) is the LAST place people go to seek attention-hungry writers and their self-amusing jokes. Especially this one. I mean, the guy is always holding himself out to be some prize-worthy scribe who tackles the most complex of societal issues, so I keep coming here expecting to see it, only to have my day completely ruined. Well, last night, I finally couldn't take it anymore. And if I don't see some change in the next 8-12 months or so, I'm going to have to seriously think about pondering whether or not I might want to stop coming around and offering my insights. And if that's not enough to shut this place down, I suggest you all do the same.

Blogger is widely known as a vehicle for journalistic selflessness. Believe me, they're not all like this guy. Most of them could give a shit about key-stroking their own egos, and all but whore themselves out for the commenters. Some might even let US provide the real content, and make no bones about it.  Can you imagine this dickbag being that deferential, or like, interacting with us in the comments like most bloggers do? Gasp! Man, that's like imagining a black president. Or life without my checkbook. Or the touch of a woman. No comprendo, muchacho!

I know I'm not the only one who understands the gravity of what goes on here on a daily basis, and who took a completely rational degree of personal offense to yesterday's tiresome tomfoolery. This is NOT the blog I pay every month to subscribe to. Let's be the change. Join me, Anonymous, in this important mission below. Appropriately for the venue, this is no laughing matter. This is MY thread. And it's open.