The Star-Less Express (Profiles in Commenters Who Aren't As Good As MKM: Phintastic)

What can I say about Phintastic that hasn't already been said about having a wart burned off your eyelid?  A Dolphin?  No, the guy is to Deadspin commenting what a remora is to a shark: a hideous parasitic leach that latches onto a healthy host - which actually contributes something to its eco-system - in order to feast upon the scraps the host leaves behind.  He is like some sort of awful Internet meme generator; the sort of thing that would be popular with the guy in your office who can't wait to talk to you about the continuity errors in the latest Twilight movie, and who probably has a dozen Selena Gomez posters on his wall. (Note: I do not know who Selena Gomez is, but I bet you that Phin does).  Does anyone have any doubt that Phin is the sort of guy who picks his nose and immediately smears it on whatever piece of furniture is nearest to him?  Does anyone doubt that Phin thinks that Dracula: Dead and Loving It was the finest Mel Brooks movie ever made and quotes from it ad nauseam?  Does anyone doubt that Phin ...

Oh, you know what, shit.  I was thinking about Cyrus_The_Virus.  Sorry about that.  Phin's okay by me.

Pictured: Phintastic attaching himself to an unwitting host.

Anyway, MKM > Syphilis > Tebow > Phintastic