Tuesday, April 17, 2012

MKM Open Thread (Apr. 17, 2012)

Welcome to your MKM Blog open thread for April 17, 2012, the day you noticed that your Secret Service detail actually just consisted of the Shamwow guy.

Hey, everyone.  Hope you're all having a lovely Tuesday, whatever that means.  Honestly, I don't really care all that much about how your day is going, as long as whatever is happening is conducive to you making funny jokes.  Does that make me some sort of sociopath?  I mean, I guess all things being equal, I'd rather you were having a good day - as long as it wasn't better than mine, which would make me insanely jealous - but the most important thing is the jokes.  Be funny, okay?

Here's a Youtube clip to motivate you, since the depressing day you're having might be bringing you down.  It is a depressing day, right?  Because otherwise I don't know how I'm going to look in the mirror.




47 comments:

  1. I'm not alright
    Everybody should worry about me
    I understand why you need to give me an argument
    Please do not let this issue rest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Real Kenny Baloggins Apostrophe S Trademark AttorneyApril 17, 2012 at 11:42 AM

      CEASE AND DESIST!

      Delete
  2. What the heck? http://gawker.com/5902688/greetings-todays-the-day-all-starred-commenters-will-die

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy Who Remembers ThingsApril 17, 2012 at 12:32 PM

      And you begged so hard for that thing...

      Delete
    2. Guy who also remembers things, but isn't an idiotApril 17, 2012 at 1:48 PM

      @Guy

      And you are precisely the type of exclusionary asshole that is driving Denton to revamp the entire system. Thanks, prick.

      Delete
    3. You're right, Denton reads this blog and then decides how to run his company. We're so influential!

      Delete
    4. Guy Who Thinks "Guy Who" Is A Little Played Out, But Actually Just Realized This Very Second That It's Kind Of FunApril 17, 2012 at 1:59 PM

      @Guy Guy Guy Fieri

      I think you missed the point, Guy.

      Delete
    5. Guy who thinks you are an idiotApril 17, 2012 at 2:05 PM

      It isn't about Denton reading this blog. It is about people like you with attitudes like this who create the environment that Denton wants to change.

      I am sure that we can all agree that this blog is an inconsequential pimple on a gnat's ass. But the type of person who feels the need to continually remind someone that they got a star that about 30 people in the world care about via a chat session that about 50 people in the world participated in is precisely the type of idiot that Denton is trying to legislate out of existence. So, yeah, you are the asshole.

      Delete
    6. I'M HIDEOUS! DON'T LOOK AT ME!

      Delete
    7. @A Gnat[[apostrophe]]s Ass

      I LOVE YOU

      Delete
    8. Guy Who Did the Guy Fieri Reference, and is now just a Guy Who Think Youre the IdiotApril 17, 2012 at 2:19 PM

      It was sarcasm, but the truth is that Analysis Rube is looking more and more sane by the day.

      Delete
    9. @ "Guy Who Think Youre the Idiot"

      I am impressed -- most people would attempt to appear somewhat intelligent while insulting others, but you don't feel constrained by society's expectations. YOU GO GIRL!

      Delete
    10. Oh fuck! I made a typo and left off the "s"
      Look around and see what happens to apostrophes in names. That omission was intentional.

      Delete
    11. Guy who recognizes that you are illiterateApril 17, 2012 at 2:44 PM

      Yup, I am sure that was intentional, because, you know, "thinks" requires an apostrophe.

      Delete
    12. As a disinterested observer, I find it ironic that someone who feels compelled to bring up a commenter's history from almost a year ago cannot admit that he made a mistake.

      Who cares if you forgot an "s" on "thinks"? No one - yet, you feel compelled to claim it was intentional because HTML cannot handle an apostrophe (which is irrelevant in this case). You lost - just slink away.

      Delete
    13. Guy Who is over the douchebags populating this placeApril 17, 2012 at 3:01 PM

      I was talking about the apostrophe in "you're"
      I should have made that clear.

      I am not the same "Guy Who" who brought up anyone's history though. But obviously someone thought leaving the S off "thinks" made me illiterate.

      I didn't start any of this, but really if this is what the whole Deadspin "community" is becoming, I'm pretty sure I don't want any part of it. You guys are dicks.

      Guess I'll "slink away" now so you can celebrate your huge internet win! Pop the champagne!

      Delete
    14. An entirely different guyApril 17, 2012 at 3:01 PM

      I can't believe I'm bothering to comment on this, but:

      Guy Who Made a typo was saying that he accidentally left off the "s", but the omission of the apostrophe in "you're" was on purpose. He was NOT saying that "thinks" required an apostrophe.

      In conclusion: We are all dumber than we were an hour ago.

      Delete
    15. Guy who is done with thisApril 17, 2012 at 3:18 PM

      @Guy who is over

      If you weren't the Guy Who Remembers Things, then none of this was about you. The goal wasn't to nitpick the grammar of random passers-by - it was to point out that the elitist (and inconsequential) high-school "I was cool before you were cool" and "my friends are in the in-crowd" bullshit is precisely the crap that Denton is determined to fix.

      Delete
    16. Guy Who Got Confused For Another Guy WhoApril 17, 2012 at 3:21 PM

      I wasn't "Guy Who Remembers Things." Doesn't matter. It's still a retarded internet flame war.

      Delete
  3. Gather around for a glimpse of your future:

    http://gawker.com/5902688/greetings-todays-the-day-all-starred-commenters-will-die

    ReplyDelete
  4. So this is what will make a DEADSPINSUPERUSER in the future, a la HuffingtonPost?

    * a reply's acceptance (or dismissal) by the original contributor
    * the thoroughness with which a discussion's participants have in general curated these replies
    * a textual analysis of the contribution
    * an editorial evaluation of the contributor's track record, if any
    * the company a commenter keeps: don't associate with trolls and bores!
    * the "shape" of each discussion thread

    To me that seems like more work for the editorial staff, especially since they (the company) goes back and forth on whether or not they value or just plain hate commenters. Denton's gone off the rails, or more likely, is doing way more rails. I wonder how long until Deadspin (if ever) goes this route.
    * recency of the latest addition to a thread

    ReplyDelete
  5. Denton has read the comments on Yahoo, ESPN, local news-papers right? I'm sure he had to do a few minutes of research and check them out, pretty sure at least.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Are they going to put up DUAN or what? They obviously have stopped posting for the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry any moment now there will be six 3 paragraph stories going up in about 17 minutes.

      Delete
    2. Triumph of the Will ClarkApril 17, 2012 at 4:05 PM

      DUAN Lover, what is it about me that you find so alluring? No need to be so shy, I'm very approachable. You know where to reach me ;)

      Delete
  7. Well, I'd better get my bad Jerry Sandusky jokes in now, since who knows what the process for approving them will be in a week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, that one cracked me up. I think it was the "And their contact information" that got me.

      Delete
    2. Thanks! Don't worry, I'll make bad ones in the very near future.

      Delete
  8. BALOG BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME EITHER!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I definitely want the contributor who put up a random fight video with three words of original content to engage in a "textual analysis" of my comments, just like I want that slow-witted guy who doesn't do any actual automotive work but instead kind of mops up and replaces coffee filters in the lounge area at Jiffy Lube going on a spacewalk to fix the Hubble Telescope.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I knowing I'm stating the obvious right now, but Gamboa hit the nail on the head with his comment in Tommy's post.

    I'll be the first to admit that after trying for a year and finally getting it a few months ago, I'm pretty bummed that I'm going to be losing my star.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That one picture with the guy blowing his brains outApril 17, 2012 at 4:30 PM

      Meh, stars don't mean shit anymore. For fuck's sake lauren_jo has had 2.

      Delete
    2. Thanks, man.

      Tough to word that without coming off as too elitist or having my "panties in a bunch" like a Gakwer/Jezzy commenter, although I'm sure some will take it that way.

      Just wanted to put my two cents in and maybe foster an intelligent discussion. I only wish I had the eloquence of a Kenny Baloggins or sumthin'.

      Delete
    3. What we've got to keep in mind is that Deadspin is being swept along with Gawker Media-wide changes that are being made without their effect on Deadspin being a primary concern (which is fair).

      As long as there is still some QC process in place (which the line "Smart and insightful are given primary over dumb and boorish" seems to imply) we'll hopefully find this is nothing more than a superficial change (and let's be honest, while the star is nice to have for both visibility and promoting rights, it really won't change who is making solid jokes and getting +1s).

      But if this really is just "open the floodgates and push for intelligent discussion", it might be a mess for awhile. If it turns into pink commenters standing in a circle and throwing their feces at each other in the form of "arguments" we might as well just hand the keys to "the guys" bitching at each other up above.

      Delete
    4. @Gamboa:

      I agree with just about everything you said and really meant my above comment in direct response to yours...but I wasn't about to mess with your post and start *gasp* a discussion where there really shouldn't have been one because your comment stood alone so nicely.

      Delete
    5. I know this isn't DUAN, and maybe everything isn't about me, but this sure seems like odd timing that I just received a star a couple weeks ago, then proceeded to make a fool of myself. I just don't understand why they don't just de-star me and let everyone else keep there's!

      Delete
    6. I'll withhold my judgment for now.

      Although I wish TotWC hadn't ruined it for everybody.

      Delete
    7. Triumph of the Will ClarkApril 17, 2012 at 6:04 PM

      Mr. Favorites, if anyone deserves to remain a starred commenter...wait, is Benny Kaloggins even starred?

      Delete
    8. I've seen enough commenting regimes in my day to know that the best way to keep any comment section civil is to clearly, consistently, and constantly advertise what is and isn't acceptable and then vigilantly moderate. An unfortunate corollary is that there is usually a critical mass of users where effective moderation becomes impossible and the tyranny of the mob degrades the quality of the discussion. Deadspin has a small enough target audience that I think it can avoid the second problem, but effective moderation could very well be a problem.

      The only internet forum I have ever seen that "survived" a significant growth in readership other than Deadspin is the AskScience sub-reddit over on Reddit.com, a site that on the whole has become a cesspool of tribalism, rehashes of lame memes, and just general vapidity overall as it has grown more popular. The AskScience comment section, unlike every other popular commenting section in the umbrella of the mother site, still accomplishes its stated mission (providing accurate scientific information to anyone willing to ask without resorting to typical internet buffoonery) by having moderators delete completely any comments with information being passed off as truth that does not come with citations or common scientific consensus, medical advice of any kind, and any attempts at humor devoid of desired content, especially if it's unoriginal. They also assign to users who regularly contribute a label that contains their verified area of expertise. This is similar to the star system we are familiar with here. The end result is that you see who the experts are, and that by reading their input and at the same time seeing what is shot down by the extremely vigilant and tireless moderators, you learn pretty quickly how things are supposed to go. This is what Deadspin is losing by getting rid of the stars: They are losing an opportunity to very clearly delineate who is good and who is not, and are thus losing an avenue to implicitly advertise what is acceptable behavior. It's not like there are a lot of schlubs carrying the yellow star by their handle, they can very easily prevent that with a little bit of homework. If other sites in the Gawker umbrella have problems with their starred commenters being buffoons its their own fault.

      I fear it's only going to get worse from here on out unless their moderation system is at least as strict as it is now on Deadspin and AskScience: we've seen what "everyone is equal and no one has a name" can turn into with even the smallest audience when we look at some of the sideshow BS that goes on here (and is rightly excoriated by the propers). I hope the moderation algorithm doesn't get overwhelmed.

      Delete
    9. Well-said, interesting, and slightly depressing, RJR. Thank you.

      Delete
  11. Stinky McBritches is approving every pink comment in the spreadsheet post, saying "The Revolution Has Begun." It's stupid, but at least he went all in.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is one of the best comments I've seen in a long time.

    +1

    ReplyDelete
  13. Universal Enveloping AlgebraApril 17, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    I just realized that the last guy (probably) who will ever get a star at Deadspin is named "ObscureSimpsonsReference." That's fucking hilarious.

    ReplyDelete