Crossed The 100,000 Visitor Threshold

Without noticing it, we crossed the 100,000 visitor threshold earlier this week and are now at 102,500 visitors in just a hair over three months of operation.  43,176 visitors, oddly enough, appear to have signed in from a small law firm in the greater St. Petersburg metro area.

You are a bunch of sad pathetic people.  Thanks for cheering up this sad pathetic person with your jokes and vicious anonymous insults.

Just a plug for something you have almost certainly already seen

Our friend and inspiration, Miserable Shitehawk, emerged from his underground lair of solitude today with a typically more-enjoyable-than-1998-Cristal and impeccably-argued post.  You've already seen it, but I'll plug it again.

I miss him so much.  The guy (I think I'm safe in assuming he's a guy) is simply as good as it gets.  He could write about fabric softener and I would be scintillated (though I really enjoy fabric softener).

Why he ever teamed up with that hack, Your Earless Reader, is still beyond me.

Contagion: MKM Edition

I don't know if any of you people work with other people who have children, but I do, and fuck those miserable breeders.  Everyone has spent the last two weeks bitching about how their ugly, bratty children are wrestling with some loathsome disease that is undoubtedly the product of the same sort of lax parenting that they display when they bring their hideous children to the office and pretend not to notice when said ugly, bratty children are running amok, ripping up important irreplaceable documents and eating out of my garbage can.  Anyway, their worthless little disease vectors finally got me this morning, and I feel like hell.

All of which brings me to my point: perfectly done, BBAM.  That's how you take a traditional format and manage to do something entirely original and hysterical with it.  I've mentioned that we're going to have a tournament of commenters on this site soon, and this comment will definitely be a part of it.

Bloggy Blog Blog Blog Blog

So, Anonymous (hopefully not the organization), said this today:

Hey, you guys remember when anybody had anything in any way positive or constructive to say in the comments of this blog?

Me neither.

I have made my feelings about negative posts that rip on other commenters well known.  I don't like them, I don't find them interesting, I don't think they're consistent with whatever this blog is supposed to be, which is nothing, other than a cheap joke that has sort turned into the Hanukkah of the Internet in terms of its ability to outlast its anticipated shelf life.  I do keep an eye out for them and I will be more proactive about deleting them going forward.  Please keep them to a minimum.

That said, and this is my opinion only, I don't think it's been too bad of late.  Frankly, the positive, funny, constructive comments seem to have far outweighed the "so and so" sucks garbage.  This isn't Deadspin; it's an inherently uber-meta locker room, and there is going to be towel snapping and some snickering about people who don't get it (and, really, it's not so much about those who try and don't get it as much as those who have made it painfully clear that they do not - and will not ever - give a fuck about getting it).

I know who most of the people are who comment here (not because I have any sketchy email monitoring software, but because they've told me).  Other than Hatey, I know that every one of the recent COTY winners /nominees is a pretty regular reader and/or commenter here.  These are people who genuinely care about Deadspin comments, want to make it an inclusive place where people can try new and different things, and occasionally get frustrated when they see someone metaphorically piss all over something they put a lot of thought into.  Would I rather there was none of that?  Yes, and that goes for my own occasional snide remark that slips out.  The last thing this blog should do is discourage people from commenting and trying their own thing.  I just don't think it does that.

Hell, maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like comment quality has been up since we started this little experiment, both in terms of quality and variety.  I think people like to know why a joke worked, or didn't, and the discussion here helps.  I hope that's why more than 30,000 of you visited us in February.

I'll continue to monitor the comments here, but I think you guys are doing great, and I hope all of you keep showing up everyday.*

Awwwwww.

Pictured: Us; Not Pictured: Pete Gaines

*Not you, Echo.

An MKM Blog Tutorial: How To Ruin Someone Else's Clever Joke In One Easy Step

(1) Do this.

Guh.

Wha...?

So, I was flipping through today's comments I may have missed and came across the shitty Gawker approval I posted above.  But looking at that thread now, Jesus, that's the least offensive thing that came out of the late comments.  I know the people who read this blog are not the problem but I have to hold someone responsible for this shit, and I'm blaming Raysism unless someone has a better idea.

Huh?

Good God, No.  (pink)

:(

Come on, man!

Arrrgh.  (pink)

Ashley from Hardcore Pawn.

MKM Blog Announcement and Acknowledgments

So, I am a few days late with this, but I wanted to thank everyone who has stopped by during our first month in business.  Here are a few mind-blowing statistics:

• Pageviews: >32,500
• Posts: 96
• Comments: 795
• Most Popular Post: Hack-eroni and Cheese (All Over But The Sharting profile), with nearly 1,000 unique pageviews
• MKM's World Commenter Ranking: 1

Not too bad for something that was created on a whim and intended to draw 2 or 3 visitors from DUAN.  We've seen a number of different stages in our history from something that was initially pure MKM parody, to a DS commenter/MBA parody, to what is becoming a really fun place to spend the day and bitch about commenters who are funnier than we are, as well as Bevraj of Choice.  We'll have some more enhancements coming in the near future, including some entirely new stuff and some very exciting guest pieces.  (I don't want to give away any surprises, but let's just say that President Barack Obama is a huge fan of Oklahoma!)

So, stay tuned, keep showing up for the open thread, and thanks for all the support this last month.

All hail MKM! 

I'm Not Doing Duds ... But Jesus Christ Look At This One

Ohmigod, you totally need to see this (except you probably can't unless you have a star, so I've reproduced it below).  This is like the crapo di tutti crapo.  It's like the Six Million Dollar man of shitty comments.  Like someone strung together elements of all the other shittiest comments into one comment so completely shitty - lame, obvious targets; premise makes no sense; awful writing; no punch line - that no other comment could ever out shit it.  I actually almost admire it.

Almost.

Deadspin's Own Sodom and Gomorrah

Even if there is one good comment in it, and I'm not saying there is, I would have no problem if the Lord rained fire and brimstone on every comment in this post.

Seriously, if you saw a clip on Jeopardy, and immediately thought that it would end up on Deadspin, and you then felt the need to share the fact that you immediately thought this thing that you saw on Jeopardy would end up on Deadspin, so that the entire world knows that you that immediately thought this thing that you saw on Jeopardy would end up on Deadspin, because for some reason you think the entire world would give a damn about the fact that you immediately thought this thing that you saw on Jeopardy would end up on Deadspin, I hate you more than I hate Hitler.  And, yet, I still prefer you to people who need to reference a decade-old SNL sketch every time Jeopardy is mentioned.

You are killing MKM with this crap!

Hello, I hope you die (Comments that Would Probably Piss Off MKM Were He Forced to Read Them)

I have no intention of going all Shitehawk on you and flogging duds, nor can I say exactly why this dud so infuriated me, but it did, and I have this little forum to bitch about it, so hope you die, PrinceofPedantry.

UPDATED: And.....Ninja'd!  Adios, hack.  MKM will never know you existed.

Endorsements That Aren't As Good As MKM's: Jose Canseco Edition

Take it from a guy who knows how to stay out of trouble!