Tuesday, February 28, 2012

MKM Open Thread (Feb. 28, 2012)

Welcome to your MKM Blog open thread for Februsry 28, 2012, the day you realized that Oddibe McDowell's water bills actually contained a treasure map that would lead you to the Ark of the Covenant, when all 600 of the editors of Bleacher Report mysteriously had their faced melted off

Morning, everyone. Hope you all had a nice Monday. Get through today, and you're almost halfway through the week, which for most of you is just an indistinguishable block of time during which you consume Reese's Pieces by the pallet on your parents' couch.

Chat away. I can't do YouTube clips from an iPad so here's s picture to get you started.


Not the same, is it?

73 comments:

  1. Mitch Hedberg's HairdresserFebruary 28, 2012 at 8:01 AM

    (Brushes shoulder off)

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    1. [brushes significantly more dirt off shoulders]

      Delete
    2. The Dirt on Mitch Hedbergs ShouldersFebruary 28, 2012 at 2:13 PM

      (Offered frozen banana)(Doesn't want a frozen banana, but wants a regular banana later, so yea, takes it)

      Delete
  2. Pink in the Armor:
    Nominee

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  3. Februsry 28

    During Februanyary, Subway offers $5 footlongs.

    During Februsry, Bank of America offers 35% interest loans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. During Fabruary, Ray Jackson spreads pestilence and fear across the land, particularly at your Mom's house.

      Delete
  4. I'd make out with Luke O'Brien.

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  5. Dubai-

    I love your work on Deadspin but I'm not sure I understand what you are trying to do on Gawker today. I'm all for defending the honor of our turf but I'm not ready to go on the offensive and start calling out their commenters for posting gigs/jpegs etc. It is kind of their thing. I would just walk away at this point.

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    1. More like DubaiAin'tRight, amirite?February 28, 2012 at 2:13 PM

      Seriously, shut the fuck up and COMMENT goddammit. It just makes Deadspin look bad. I feel like he spent all morning listening to Peter Cetera's "Glory Of Love", took the chorus way too literally, and then went over to Gawker and lost his mind.

      STOP IT!

      Delete
    2. Deleted down there to move up here -

      "In DubaiAtNight's defense, I also enjoy wading into Gawker from time to time, to make earnest jokes but also to provide an interesting foil for their brand of comedy. Once there, it's pretty easy to get pulled down into serious arguments. The combination of the hivemind's incredibly immature "jokes" with their inexplicable superiority complexes gets pretty frustrating."

      Also, to add that I think it's worse-looking to call out established commenters on third-party blogs anonymously. If it's worth saying, you should put your name to it.

      Delete
    3. Bronze Hammer. I hear you and I am in no way saying that it's not fun to poke the nest but I usually think it works better for us when we are replying to their tiring generalizations at Deaspin. Dubai just seemed to willingly acquire a target and attack for no reason and as a result has found himself without a leg to stand on while fending off the hoard alone. Even worse, the initial joke that he started out on went over his head but he refused to suck it up and walk away. I am a big fan of Duabai but some battles just need to be conceded.

      - Confusing Use Of Time (Deadspin handle)

      I wasn't actually trying to call him out anonymously. This was my first post on this blog and I was toggling the drop down to see how commenting here works. Apologies to Dubai for that.

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    4. Glad you put your handle to it - I wasn't trying to come down on your anonymous comment in particular; about 90% of the comments here that could possibly be construed as negative are either Anonymous or some other pseudonym.

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    5. I'm also sorry. My Deadspin handle is "MoreLikeDubaiAin'tRight, Amirite?"

      Though I'm currently unapproved.

      Delete
    6. I will immediately approve anyone with that handle. I will then immediately lose my star, but it will have been worth it. And, let's be honest, I will lose the star sometime soon anyway.

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. I believe what you are describing is called "trolling." And what would the tune be if it was some gawker commenter, taking unprovoked swipes at Deadspin commenters--on a Deadspin post no less? "Interesting foil"? Or "fuck this guy"?

      Delete
    2. Please consider how something like Dubai's totally unprovoked attack on a Gawker comment would fly on Deadspin if the roles and sites were reversed - and how our crowd would justifiably react to it. This sort of thing makes our commentariat look like assholes. They have their own culture over there which is their own business. Those who don't like it are free to get their gossip elsewhere.

      Delete
    3. Boy I messed this up - just deleted to move up into the thread above.

      Anyway, I don't think Dubai's conversation went as he wanted it to, but he's entitled to defend himself. I won't speak for him. As for me, I don't troll Gawker. But if I did, I'd certainly be expecting a "fuck you" right back.

      @Anon

      If they criticized +1ing in DUAN, you mean? Well, one of them got banned for criticizing +1s on their own site this week. Again, I didn't say that the folks over there were wrong to be defensive, and they're entitled to their opinions on Dubai, but I don't think it affected you or me.

      Delete
    4. Hey Bronze, it's nice that you're sticking up for the guy, but Dubai's not "defending" himself. He attacked a Gawker commenter without provocation. And in the #crosstalk forum, all the Nefertitties person did was post a link to their scrum - which Dubai again attacked, without provocation.

      I think what you might be overlooking is that, when people (and Dubai's certainly not the only one to have done it) go to other Gawkerverse sites and pull this kind of stuff, they kind of can't help but do it as representatives of their "home" site. I don't think it makes Deadspin look good to have our commenters going around telling other people how to comment on other sites. And I think it really makes us look bad when they cite income and educational statistics to try to assert that we're somehow superior to other commentariats. Say what you will about Nefertitties, but I've never seen (him? her?) over on Deadspin busting on lame Jerry Sandusky jokes.

      Delete
    5. @Sharting

      I won't dispute that it seems like he was stirring up trouble on purpose, but to me his initial post in the #crosstalk forum was more exploratory than incendiary. To that point, I don't think anything he had said was deserving of "classless asshole" or "turd" status, as Prose Echo put it, but from there, things obviously got worse.

      To the extent that it makes Deadspin commenters look bad, I guess I don't really care all that much. If "DubaiAtNight made me mad, therefore everyone who comments at Deadspin is a jerk" is something floating around in a Gawker commenter's head, it was just a matter of time before they decided not to like me anyway. I happen to think Prose Echo comes off quite badly in the exchange, but that won't keep me from enjoying other Gawker threads. If they work that way, then so be it.

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    6. @Bronze Hammer. What about the community of deadspin commenters that is wronged by its own not appreciating each other? Do you only care about that community insofar as how it affects you personally? That's one hell of a community you've got yourself there.

      It pisses me off. It pisses me off because it makes Deadspin look like a bunch of petty, childish assholes and I don't want people to think "petty" "childish" or "assholes" when they think about Deadspin. This was a stupid, unnecessary thing to do and I could care less what any of the other people on Gawker said and how they come off. It wouldn't have happened but for Dubai provoking them for no reason and it doesn't get worse than that.

      Delete
    7. @ cheese mac

      I don't know what you mean by "not appreciating each other". Am I supposed to be upset because other people at Deadspin are upset? Obviously, you're mocking me with respect to our last conversation, but to answer your question genuinely - I think having a friendship with Dubai means I should give him the benefit of the doubt and not shit on him anonymously when he's not around.

      I think worrying about commenters' adventures on other websites is about as useless as worrying about their tweets or e-mails. Trying to cultivate a proper image of Deadspin commenters - a large and diverse group of individuals - especially among Gawker commenters, many of whom have already worked out what they think of Deadspinners anyway, seems futile.

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    8. I guess I'm just sort of amazed about what you choose to care about. On the one hand, fuck a deadspin commenter for not +1ing everyone in the building because it doesn't foster the community. On the other hand, who cares about the community when my friend makes it look like a society of assholes.

      I'm not worried about Dubai's adventures. I could literally not care less about DubaiAtNight. But when he starts an unprovoked troll session out of some needlessly misguided notion that he must stick up for Deadspin (or perhaps the thought that he would return to a hero's welcome) then I do care. And I care for the reasons I have stated.

      You guys spend an awful lot of time talking about how awesome the community of Deadspin is and how it should be fostered and how we're all so great, but this kind of shit is amateur hour and reflects poorly on everyone and is an absolute detriment to that community (which extends far beyond you or your friends). But, as you say--you're friends with him so you'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

      As for anonymously shitting on him, I'm not sure if you are referring to me, but I have clearly been commenting under my own name here as I long ago set up a blogspot account and I am automatically signed in via my gmail account. I assumed everyone knows who I am.

      Delete
    9. Who could have predicted that IMG's fake bloggy thing would get us the old cheese_mac back! We miss you!

      c_m: Are there rules about you commenting freely in DUAN now, or do you feel that (either formally or informally) you're not supposed to engage in long form discussions?

      Delete
    10. @cheese-mac:

      You're Spartacus, correct?

      Delete
    11. @Raysism, There's nothing preventing me from doing it, I've just sort of felt it was weird to do so. And I probably should stop getting involved in these things here, but I obviously have a soft spot for Deadspin and the comments section in general. I also don't want to come off as a bully or seen ass trying to use my very, very limited role with the site as some sort of authority. I'm always responding from the mindset of myself as a commenter, even though I don't comment much anymore.

      So it grates sometimes to see some of the things written or actions that reflect poorly on that and I can't help myself from popping off.

      Delete
    12. On the one hand, fuck a deadspin commenter for not +1ing everyone in the building because it doesn't foster the community.

      This is ridiculous, but I'm getting used to defending myself from strawmen you pull out of your ass. I never said fuck Hatey, I said I don't +1 him. And obviously there's a huge difference between +1ing everyone and doing it even one time that anyone can recall.

      Further, I don't see it as Dubai making us look like assholes. I see it as Dubai representing himself, Gawker commenters (whom I do not care about) drawing absurd conclusions, and touchy Deadspinners worried about nothing.

      reflects poorly on everyone and is an absolute detriment to that community

      Hey, but who cares about the community, right? We're just a bunch of joke-making robots. Why are you, of all people, worried about this? As long as he makes jokes, who cares what else he does?

      But, as you say--you're friends with him so you'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

      This, of course, being a vastly different tactic from your defending Hatey McLife at every turn.

      I assumed everyone knows who I am.

      You couldn't be more right - everyone knows exactly who you are.

      Delete
    13. Whoa whoa whoa. This level of vitriol is uncalled for. Let's dial it back a bit.

      Delete
    14. Hey, that's fine. I have a feeling you are in the minority and, curiously, BronzeHammer, you appear to be the only one coming to the defense of DubaiAtNight. Because Gawker commenters drew absurd conclusions? Haha, ok man--run with that.

      And just so we are clear, you are now trying to undercut my argument where I criticize your hypocritical and self-serving odes to the "community of deadspin"(read: your friends) by questioning why I would care about the reputation of the Deadspin comments section as a whole? Is that what you're doing? Am I supposed to feel vanquished now that you've proven my point?

      "Everyone knows exactly who you are." Ok???

      Delete
    15. I don't know exactly what I'd be in the minority about. I haven't said I approve Dubai's message or anything - simply that it didn't worry me if Gawker commenters thought I was a jerk as a result of it. Just like I don't hope that Always Winning or SaveToFavorites really knocks it out of the park over there so I look good as a result (although, sure, I hope they do well for their own sake). It's a bizarre line of thought to me, which is why I'm perfectly comfortable trading increasingly aggressive barbs with you about something so inconsequential.

      Please explain what's hypocritical about these two stances:

      1. I think it would be better if more commenters participated

      2. I don't care if Gawker thinks we're jerks

      These are two totally disparate ideas, bound together only by your purposely-exaggerated interpretation of a single word.

      My line of questioning was intended to reveal why you were now concerned with the community that you flatly denied should exist as recently as a few days ago. The line about Hatey was supposed to be an obvious parallel - two people defending their internet friends in absentia.

      Delete
    16. Sean, I really hope you keep commenting here, and it would be nice to see you in the comment section at Spin more too. I know we don't agree on every issue, but your opinion is always tremendously valuable. And I don't mean because of your position on the masthead but you've been a part of this longer than almost any of the people who still comment regularly.

      Delete
    17. Those two statements certainly do seems unrelated. But the motive behind each is without a doubt hypocritical.

      1. To criticize a commenter (I do not like) for not being part of the community is bad.

      2. A commenter (I do like) making the rest of the community look bad is inconsequential because it doesn't affect me personally.

      Let's switch the parentheses and see where you fall.

      With respect to HateyMcLife, I specifically said I hated that I was coming off as a hatey lover. And even more specifically called into question the fact that many appeared to be basing their opinion of HateyMcLife as a commenter on things other than his commenting ability. Which I think is unfair and contrary to whatever sense of community you trot out to mask a good old fashioned cool kids table. And I suppose I am friendlier with HateyMcLife than, say, I am with you. But I respect Hatey as a commenter because he was fucking funny and didn't get involved with all this other extracurricular shit. I should also note, he has personally called me out before for acting like a jackass a lot in the comments.

      I'll point out again, that I don't care about the community of deadspin commenters. I don't know you. I don't know Raysism, I don't know IronMIkeGallego. I don't know most of you. What I do care about is the way Deadspin commenters are perceived because I am a Deadspin commenter and for a variety of reasons, that is important to me. Everyone getting along and being friends (as some sort of tonic for joke-making) is unimportant to me, yes.

      So to spell it out, I think its hypocritical to use the conceit of "the community" to on one hand criticize a commenter for not participating in it and making it a happy, shiny, song-singing place while simultaneously professing to not give a shit about how that community is perceived by those around it. It seems to me that if one cared enough to take umbrage with a person's (somewhat recent, by the way) lack of handing out fucking +1's, I'd think he would be just a little bit upset if someone was out there making that community look like a bunch of jackasses.

      Delete
    18. I don't know Raysism, I don't know IronMIkeGallego

      That's because you never show up at Chili's after work on Thursdays. IMG, you've been copying Sean on those invites, right?

      Delete
  7. Me, on the couch in my parents' basementFebruary 28, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    EVERYBODY CALM DOWN AND FOCUS ON THE IMPORTANT THING: They apparently sell pallets of Reese's Pieces.

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  8. Dubai old chum, your adventures in #crosstalk are a touch, dare I say, embarrassing? The irony is that while we as Farthingstones are indubitably superior to those awful Spencerfields, pointing out the inferiority of another is just such a Spencerfieldian thing to do.

    We all have our youthful indiscretions - just ask your uncle Chestwick about that Irishwoman - but it would be just smashing if we kept tighter rein on our ponies.

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  9. So, by 1 PM there's like, 3 comments here, and then Dubai gives us our recommended daily allowance of drama over at gawker, and now we're back up to 20 something comments.

    What I'm trying to narrow down is whether it is IMG or Raysism running that "Dubai at Night" account.

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    1. I have not seen DaN's comment but I appreciate the attention it's getting my balog

      Delete
    2. I actually checked in here for the first time since early AM, and I have no idea what's going on. Am I supposed to go to Gawker to see all this?

      Delete
    3. Here

      For what its worth, I just went to his comment history. It kind of scares me to think about wading through Gawker posts.

      Delete
  10. So, people want drama, well, here you go:

    Diane Keaton > Sally Field > Meryl Streep

    I'm talking looks only. I dare you to take issue with that.

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    Replies
    1. To each their own, buddy, but Diane Keaton (even at her long-ago best) doesn't do it for me at all. Too bland, and her forehead makes Peyton Manning's look downright narrow. But yeah, I'd take a young Sally Field over a young Meryl Streep (who was radiant, by the way).

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    2. When you consider the fact that, for a good, long, Congressional-term-ish period of time-- around the time of the respective primes of the ladies listed above-- SHELLEY DUVALL was considered a sex symbol... does it make you more sad, confused, or agog with wonder about the strange things the human mind can do?

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    3. Shelley Duvall is the single scariest visual in the shining. Fact.

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    4. I was talking about today. I think young Sally Field wins.

      Also, I think all three are still hot. Take that, societal expectations.

      Delete
  11. So, I apparently just promoted a terrible comment in the Plax interview thread. No more commenting from iPhone, I might approve something awful before Nibbled does it accidentally.

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    1. Thank God you posted this. I read that comment five more times to figure out why you thought it was funny.

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    2. Whoa whoa, how do you comment via iPhone?

      Delete
    3. Get skyfire, and use it in desktop mode.

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    4. I have been absolutely paranoid I'll do the same on my Droid phone. Every once in a while, my phone flips out and randomly scrolls all over the place and reacts to my finger taps in a manner I don't expect. My contingency was to offer an immediate apology if that happened.

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    5. I've definitely accidentally unhearted people on my Droid phone, and made one accidental promotion. I swear the touchscreen is defective, but that could be because I've dropped the thing so many times.

      Delete
  12. I caught just a glimpse of what Dubai was doing this morning on Gawker before I got too busy with work to completely keep up. I like Dubai, I like his work on Deadspin, I'm not going to bash him nor defend him. I trolled one night and it was just pointless (it was drunk trolling to my credit, I try not too troll so hard).

    What I would suggest doing, is to help change the culture there at Gawker (if you feel so inclined) by doing what we do best. Go over there and make funny-ass comments. I've tried to go over from time to time and do that. It seems to be generally well-received and appreciated. In fact, I have earned a star for my efforts (Ok, I begged Emma for it). If you want change there, it's best to work from the inside out, earn respect their respect and help change the culture.

    By the way, I enjoy this blog IMG. I lurk occasionally, I think I've commented once. Keep up the good work.

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  13. Universal Enveloping AlgebraFebruary 28, 2012 at 8:38 PM

    It's too short to reply or link to, but Stev D's comment in tonight's DUAN made me laugh really fucking hard.

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    1. I'm not going to do the research to back this up, but I'm like 102% certain that everything Stev D posts is goddamn hilarious.

      Delete
  14. Imgslayer, you no say daddy 'llego I go' blame, a licky boom boom down

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  15. @Sharting, cheese-mac, etc. I agree. It was an asshole move from the beginning and it went downhill from there. As sweatingmullets predicted, I was drunk and almost out-of-my-mind tired (this is my first trip since my latest baby was born, and last night was my first time in a month to sleep more than 3 hours straight). Given that, I thought I actually did fairly well defending myself from the hoard and was reasonably polite, but I should have just gone to sleep.

    Anyway, I wasn't trying to make anyone at Deadspin look bad - I didn't even bring up Deadspin until late in the game after one of them brought it up first, and then I even agreed that the statistics we like to lord over them are probably not significant.

    OK, I'm off to find a dictionary so that I can finally figure out all of those complicated words that they kept throwing at me.

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    1. It feels to me like the entire thing can boil down easily to this:

      Just apply the Deadspin rules everywhere. If you had been doing that at Deadspin you'd get in shit with the ninja because it's not your place. And it's not your place because it's not constructive to have commenters bitching at each other.

      You're a funny dude. Keeping your comments just to jokes will be way more funny, not to mention more constructive toward improving the overall commenting culture than any arguing or mocking will ever be.

      Delete
    2. Good rule. I wish I knew it this morning - I made fun of some guy in the subway after he kept randomly quoting the Simpsons. Not only did he hit me, he told me that he's going to go hit Raysism next.

      Sorry about that, Ray...

      Delete
    3. He's obviously unaware of the fact that I am 6'1" and 158 lbs. of hate.

      Delete
    4. Well, I generated 114 lbs of hate yesterday, so I'll catch you soon.

      BTW, I have a feeling that those dimensions are actually correct based on your marathon response. Congrats. I've done one (Houston, 2006, 3:27) but was never close to qualifying for Boston - have you actually done it? Heartbreak Hill just scares the crap out of me - an uphill run at 18 miles, which is exactly when your brain goes "holy crap, I have SIX MORE MILES to go? Fuck this!" ... not for me.

      /Yes, desperately trying to move on. Humor me.

      Delete
    5. And, yes, I know that 26-18 = 8, not 6. But, if someone from Gawker can send me a calculator and a condescending note, that would be fantastic.

      Delete
    6. Damnit. Stop stop stop. As someone who just finished his first 5K, and is aiming for a half marathon in a few months (2 flat would be lovely) I'm sick of the daily reminders that I'm a fat slow piece of shit. It's bad enough being reminded how unfunny I am.

      Delete
  16. "You guys spend an awful lot of time talking about how awesome the community of Deadspin is and how it should be fostered and how we're all so great, but this kind of shit is amateur hour and reflects poorly on everyone and is an absolute detriment to that community (which extends far beyond you or your friends). But, as you say--you're friends with him so you'll give him the benefit of the doubt."

    I may not be a Deadspin fan (if ONLY because I don't follow sports---except for curling 'cause that shit's funny--) but I am a fan of Mac Cheese now as well as some of the other commentators that posted here on this thread.

    --Nefertitties (for real!--go to crosstalk and I will verify if you don't believe me.)

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    1. OK, I had hoped to move on, but since you meandered over ... one last remark and then I am done with this forever. I hope you saw my note on DUAN - I misinterpreted your original comment and recognized (too late) that you were a witty guy/gal. I apologized to you there and I'm doing it here - I was in the wrong in my comments towards you (not as it pertains to others, except that I wasn't smart enough to walk away).

      Anyway, welcome aboard and please know that sports knowledge has never been a prerequisite for a good dick joke.

      Delete
    2. And don't forget: NEVER to get into a pond with sneakers on. Or is that off? I forget. Happy trails.

      --Nefertitties

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    3. Hey, thanks for stopping by to squash the beef. I sort of feel like Snoop or Diddy now. Or, in Gawker terms, whoever got Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight talking again.

      Delete
    4. No problem IMG. Like I eventually posted on crosstalk this morning---I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love.

      http://youtu.be/Q8H5263jCGg

      Delete
    5. IMG banned this user and moved this thread to #doesthismakeyoufeelathome?

      Delete
  17. 2 flat is fantastic, actually. I could not do that today - it is all I can do to run a 5K in 24 minutes. The only way that I ran somewhat well years back was that I spent that whole summer in Houston jogging around because I was bored (yes, I do stupid things when bored, that is now well established).

    When the fall hit, that conditioning just exploded. I went from 4 miles to 10 without thinking twice. And even that was not enough to qualify for Boston - I have no idea how those folks do it.

    I guess what I am saying is, jog in place in a sauna for three months. If you don't die, you will destroy that half.

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    1. I just saw that we were still talking over on this post.

      Yes, I am actually 6'1" and 158 lbs. I'm still a little heavy from the holidays.

      I have never and will never run Boston. 95% of the people excited about running Boston are the ones that just barely qualified, and they tend to be an enormous group of noobs and/or douchebags.

      But I certainly could run it if I wanted to. I ran a 1:22 half in October, and ran some low 17 5Ks last year, so a 3:10 over 26.2 is like a fast jog for me.

      ** To the extent any of this sounds like I'm bragging, believe me when I say that I am no great distance runner. There are several guys and girls in my running group who can and do beat me over the longer distances (not so much the 5K though -- my times are actually pretty competitive for a 38 year old).

      Delete
    2. Jesus, you deserve to brag if 3:10 is a fast jog or a 17 min 5K is a random morning run. You may run with folks who are faster than you, but a top club pro shooting a round with Tiger and Phil still gets to brag about what an insanely good golfer he is.

      But why will you never run Boston? It seems like a seminal experience for a serious runner. If it is that you hate the idea of the city, I completely get it - I lived there, and I hate it too (as a place to live, it is awesome as a place to visit). Or is there more than that?

      Delete