Friday, April 13, 2012

MKM Open Thread (April 13, 2012)

Well, you did it. You drove me to drink. Is this what you wanted? I hope you're happy.

It's Friday the 13th. Apparently that has some sort of significance in certain cultures. I'm too hungover to research it, but I think it has something to do with quirky hijinks, so let's go with that.

Alcohol. What is it good for, amirite??? Take me to task below, or make self-amusing anecdotes about all things life, notably the words that are typed below the stories on that other site. But don't limit yourself to that. The thread knows no limitations, and it's open like Black Moon gotcha (Google it). Don't front.


66 comments:

  1. I think it was Gamboa who posed the political joke question for discussion. The Boston Bruins thread has two good examples of using them successfully (in my opinion).

    I don't think SSE's joke was stepping on any toes, but Noir's, I think, might tweak some conservative-leaning folks the wrong way. Either way, I thought they were both very funny. +1 for showing folks how to pull it off.

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    1. I'm not at my most articulate right now, but yes, it was probably me. Since I generally despise political jokes.

      HOWEVA, the ones you linked don't set off my hateometer. They're well-crafted, and there is an element to them other than "I disagree with this guy/woman's politiKs, don't you agree?1!??1?" The overwhelming majority of these "jokes" lack this quality. They're predictable, lazy, and little more than unfunny glad-handing.

      I even made a (lame) comment the other day that could be classified as "political", although to me, it was a wordplay joke. I actually spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out how to word it to avoid the very things I'm ranting against. Long story short, even if 99% of them are horrible, there are decent jokes to be made in every category.

      Except the porn star thing. That will always suck. More on that another day.

      Delete
    2. Triumph of the Will ClarkApril 13, 2012 at 12:03 PM

      This is another terrific example!

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    3. Agreed. I laughed at both.

      I think that the commenters here can appreciate political jokes that are well-constructed and funny, regardless of political affiliation.

      I'm essentially outing myself right now, but I tend to lean to the right, and am still able to appreciate many of the political jokes that are made around here by the veteran commenters. There is a difference, though, between a clever joke rooted in politics, and a cheap shot that is more focused on a political dig/statement than making an actual joke. This is something that a lot of the veterans understand, but is not always the case with newer commenters or the pinkos.

      CJ SpillerYourGuts has pointed a few of these out lately, but the whole Sarah Palin's daughter is named Bristol and has a kid which means she's totally a whore and her mom is an idiot too!!1! is a prime example of the latter, despite the hilarity of ESPN being headquartered in Bristol, CT.

      I generally stay away from making political jokes, because I know that I am sorely outnumbered, and while I can appreciate one that is well-constructed, it still isn't my cup of tea.

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    4. Sorry, the page you were looking for in this blog does not exist.

      @TofWC: I get it. It's Rick Santorum's campaign's website, right?

      Delete
  2. Neighborhood WatchApril 13, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    Whether it's the anti-comedy in the daytime, or the tedious attention-whoring in DUAN...may we finally address how utterly terrible TOTWC is?

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    1. Perhaps we may, if we put our name on it.

      Otherwise, we shant. Agreed?

      Act like Mr. Gallego is here, don't take advantage of your drunken sub.

      Delete
    2. Hey, get fucked. Leave the guy alone.

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    3. You think Tower One of The World Trade Center was bad? Tower Two was a total prick.

      That's what we're talking about, right?

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    4. Triumph of the Will ClarkApril 13, 2012 at 12:35 PM

      I deserve it! Fuck, I've been terrible and I can't help myself in DUAN. I'm aware and I can't help myself! Who do I turn my star into?

      Delete
    5. Neighborhood WatchApril 13, 2012 at 12:44 PM

      Well, I'm not a commenter, so putting a "name" to it wouldn't do much good...but sure, I'll drop it. I realize that saying TOTWC sucks isn't observant of IMG's gentle towel-snapping policy.

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    6. CJ's policy is pretty tolerant, if you own what you say. So, as mind-blowing as it is that a "non-commenter" is reading this balog, just put your name, home address, and social security number on any future "digs" and we'll be good.

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    7. @Triumph -

      I think you're doing fine. I'm nobody's paragon of commenting virtue, but for what it's worth, it took me a long, long, long time to settle into a groove where I knew how to pick my spots, knew how to translate my sense of humor into Deadspin comment format, and wasn't worried that I'd blink out of existence if I went more than a few consecutive posts without commenting. And I'm Give yourself a break. Make jokes and have fun.

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    8. And I'm Give yourself a break.

      Huh?

      Look, we all get a kick out of you one trick pony, but get out of here and make some food jokes, okay? Leave the commenting discussions to the real pros.

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    9. You know, you're right, man. I should leave this stuff to the real stars of the comments, huh?

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    10. Lay off Sharting, ok? Pretty sure he's just drunk and watching Biography: Nell Carter again.

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    12. The ninj squad really frowns upon that kind of stuff, unfortunately even more so when it's coming from you.

      If it's any consolation, you're still a hero to me. Keep doin' what you do.

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    13. Man, that's the third time in three days you've crapped on somebody's comment. Hard to shake the bullseye when you keep painting it on your own back.

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    14. Phintastic, no matter what you do, the ninja squad is never going to forget where you came from.

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    16. Even if you are painting that bullseye, wear it as a badge of honor.

      It's like, a "Phin thing" that you do, and I haven't seen you take on any undeserving targets. You pick your spots well, and even if it's just one man's opinion, I don't have a problem with it. In fact, I often get a kick out of it. The ninja ire just makes it that much more amusing.

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    17. Let me step in and say, in Phin's defense, that Connor Clapton comment deserved to be shit on because it was seriously fucking awful.

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    18. Also, to clarify, that comment was one of the worst I've ever seen, and comments like that make me angry as fuck. Not because of the subject matter (even though Clapton jokes have been done to death at this point) because I think anything can be funny if handled correctly. That's the "anti-handled correctly". It was literally "look how shocking I am. I can't wait for the +1's to roll in". It had no fucking connection to the story. It's the kind of comment that gives Deadspin commenters a bad name to people who dislike us and assume all we do is quote movies and joke about morbid shit. So yeah, fuck that guy for that comment, and Phin had every right (in my opinion) to call him out for it.

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    19. @Phin - You also "not cool"ed some guy's lame Josh Hamilton joke.

      Not saying the jokes you crapped on didn't deserve it, but it seems like this is about the 75th time you've gotten in trouble for doing exactly that. At what point do you just go, "OK, they don't like for us to do that stuff"? Maybe instead of playing mod, you could just send a PM to them. Doesn't even have to be the ninjas, go to FAILBOT if you want.

      I say that as somebody who roots for you to make funny jokes and get your star back. What's so hard about just making your own comments and calling the cops when they're needed, instead of pretending to be one?

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    21. I'm way late to the party here. While I don't necessarily love all of TOTWC's comments throughout the day, the general tone/quality of his commenting voice deserved a star. I can understand how someone who doesn't really get it (commenting in general) would read some of his comments and think to themselves "what the shit? I'm funnier then that." But you're probably not. There's this thinly veiled streak of hatred and sarcasm running through everything he posts that no one else does quite as well.

      And I can't help it. I think the DUAN! stuff he's been dropping lately is fucking hilarious.

      Delete
    22. @ETFCS

      What do your initials stand for?

      Delete
    23. Doesn't matter. I'm an occasional Lifehacker poster and a Deadspin lurker. The point is that it doesn't make a lot of sense to complain about a bullseye--I'm not even saying there isn't one--and then keep doing things that you know they don't approve of. What's that line about insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting the results to change?

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    25. Sadly, there most definitely is a "Phintastic double standard." There is stuff the rest of us can get away with with nary a word from the editors (or at worst a light smack on the back of the hand), but the same comment brings the hellfire and brimstone down on Phin (well, one-week suspensions and de-starrings, anyway). For reasons that make no sense to me, the ninja has it out for you, buddy. And that sucks.

      Delete
    26. @ Echo - Even if that's true, he still crapped on three separate comments in three days. Show me where somebody else did that and didn't get at least the same kind of mild slap on the wrist that Phintastic got today.

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    27. @ETFCS

      The line about "insanity" would be a lot more relevant if there was any evidence that Phin expected the "results to change."

      I've seen none. He seems well aware of the potential consequences when he does that thing he does, yet he remains largely undaunted. Personally, I find that admirable, and even more so, entertaining.

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    28. My mistake. I interpreted his mention of the "bullseye" above as a complaint. If it's not, then I've wasted some keystrokes.

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    29. I think the ninja is touchier with Phin because of his insistence in still calling out comments despite his repeated warnings, destarings, and banings (sp).

      But I did think today's was fine...hilarious in fact.

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    31. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    32. Personally, I get both sides of this issue, and I hope it's not out of line for me to find it rather entertaining.

      I know Phin's going to do what Phin's going to do, and I know it will periodically subject him to a little ninjing. All in all, it's just a humorous (to me) little sideshow that is highly amusing, yet insignificant enough to really detract form the larger Deadspin commenting world.

      Who doesn't love a little tragic comedy?

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    33. You really pulled Sean's comment? That was required reading for anyone interested in how it works. He didn't blow up anyone elses spot, and it gave us a clear, reasonable explanation of the gears in the machinery and was courteous and very well written to boot. Big time head-scratcher. That should be a promoted post, not "removed by blog administrator"!

      Delete
    34. Guy Who Copy-Pastes Things That Cowards Try To DeleteApril 13, 2012 at 10:58 PM

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. Or you could try commenting and realize how damn hard it is. I took a few weeks off - both for work and frankly because this place made it somewhat annoying - and getting back in the groove is really tough. I was never the best, but I was getting fairly good feedback -- now I feel like I'm starting over after just a few weeks of rust.

    So, Mr. Watch, if you have the energy and follow commenting deeply enough to come over here and snipe, try jumping in the deep end. More good voices are always welcome.

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    1. Also hard? Hitting the correct reply button. This internet thing is not working well for me lately....

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    2. HELL NAW BITCH YOUD HAVE A DICK IN YOUR MOUF, MOUF, MOUF, MOUFApril 13, 2012 at 2:07 PM

      No biggie. It's probably hard to reply properly with TOTWC's balls on your chin.

      Delete
    3. FIST BUMP BRO!

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  4. Can I reprase this or improve it in the Gronk thread? I think there was something here.

    "Fuck, Marry, Kill? Ooh, pick me."

    -OJ Simpson

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  5. Help. Was SBV8's post in the Page 2 story a joke that I ruined? I will gladly edit my comment...

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    1. Not in the least. While the "Berman jumped over the fucking line" comment was a very, very subtle reference to Vonnegut's tenure at SI that was a serious question by me (I'm under the impression we're allowed to do that now). I appreciated your response.

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  6. Guys, Walk Off HBP doesn't think I'm "respectable". ISN'T THAT A HILARIOUS JOKE?

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    1. Funnier than anything you've ever done.

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    2. Awesome!

      Listen, I have been on record stating that I have lost my way and am trying to remember how to comment well. I am trying to get back "the normal" but it is hard. I will just say, bear with me through this time.

      I've tried my hardest to avoid this thing because it seems like a lot of hidden hate. I received a couple Twitter DMs telling me to check this out, so I did. It seems like "putting your name" on things is big. Didn't happen here, don't really care, when I've bashed people (on DS or Twitter) at least you knew it was me.

      More or less... Whatevs!!!

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    3. The hilarious guy who posted as Brian WilsonApril 16, 2012 at 4:06 AM

      Hey man, I didn't mean to be overly critical. I'm not actually a deadspin commenter, I just thought it was weird you'd attack his "respectability"...the guy is a goofball but he's a great ballplayer and from all indications a decent person.

      You have a great track record of comments, and I'm commenting on a blog about commenting on a different blog that I don't even comment on, so feel free to ignore everything I have to say about it 2 days later. I just thought it was a weird angle.

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  7. Guy Who Constantly Shows Up Late To Shit, And Is Really Fucking AnnoyingApril 13, 2012 at 2:59 PM

    FIRST!

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  8. Can I just gripe about something real quick? It seems like in every post (or the majority of them, at least) related to Boston sports some asshole has to do the "Tommy from Quinzee" character. To me, it's as unoriginal as quoting a movie or whatever because you're just stealing it from Drew, who is actually funny.

    Please be more creative, people.

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    1. YES, YES, YES!

      A few of you who have talked to me privately know how much I despise those comments. Right up there with the porn star stuff and several others that I probably shouldn't get into right now for me.

      Maybe someday I'll post my definitive list, but it would probably be easier just to tattoo "elitist asshole" on my forehead.

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    2. And, Gamboa, it's not like I'm saying this because I'm from Boston and I hate when people make fun of it. It's because there's just nothing funny about copying the jokes/characters of another guy. Honestly, I love when Drew does the "Tommy" character. But it's HIS character. It's gotten to the point now where I dread clicking on any Boston-related posts because I don't want to see "NO ONE DENIES THIS!" for the millionth fucking time.

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    3. Oh absolutely agree. God, you're like a breath of fresh air around here, Lionel.

      Now stop giving me mouth-to-mouth.

      Delete
  9. Thanks Lionel for nudging me to read Frank Miller's (@jmiller31) Twitter bio because that guy has probably the most hilarious Twitter feed I've ever seen. From an anthropological perspective at least.

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    1. Hey, I'm here to help.

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  10. GO TIGERS! GO NEGAUNEE!

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