Friday, June 1, 2012

MKMOT (June 1, 2012)

Another strong showing. Epic comment sesh. Is this real life?

I don't even have anything to rant about. In fact, I'm so pleased that I'm not even going to make you powwow below J-Woww, the guy from Shamwow, or anything by Judd Apatow. It's not that the well's dry, it's that you deserve pure spring water. At the very least, I put your needs before Vince Shlomi's.

So here, enjoy this while you witticize. You deserve it. It's open. Click play, then balog away. 


  1. MrCondensation figured this whole deadspin thing out really, really quickly.

  2. 1. Bulbasaur - found in Pallet Town.
    2. Ivysaur - evolved Bulbasaur (L16).
    3. Venusaur - evolved Ivysaur (L36).
    4. Charmander - found in Pallet Town.
    5. Charmeleon - evolved Charmander (L16).
    6. Charizard - evolved Charmeleon (L36).
    7. Squirtle - found in Pallet Town.
    8. Wartortle - evolved Squirtle (L16).
    9. Blastoise - evolved Wartortle (L36).
    10. Caterpie - found in Viridian Forest.
    11. Metapod - evolved Caterpie (L7).
    12. Butterfree - evolved Metapod (L10).
    13. Weedle - found near Route 25.
    14. Kakuna - evolved Weedle (L7).
    15. Beedrill - evolved Kakuna (L10).
    16. Pidgey - found everywhere!
    17. Pidgeotto - evolved Pidgey (L18).
    18. Pidgeot - evolved Pidgeotto (L36).
    19. Rattata - found everywhere!
    20. Raticate - evolved Rattata (L20).
    21. Spearow - found almost everywhere!
    22. Fearow - evolved Spearow (L20).
    23. Ekans (R) - found almost everywhere!
    24. Arbok (R) - evolved Ekans (L22).
    25. Pikachu - only found near Routes 2 and 10.
    26. Raichu - evolved Pikachu (requires Thunder Stone).
    27. Sandshrew (B) - found almost everywhere!
    28. Sandslash (B) - evolved Sandshrew (L22).
    29. Nidoran - found near Route 22 and Safari Zone.
    30. Nidorina - evolved Nidoran (L16).
    31. Nidoqueen - evolved Nidorina (requires Moon Stone).
    32. Nidoran - found near Route 22 and Safari Zone.
    33. Nidorino - evolved Nidoran (L16).
    34. Nidoking - evolved Nidorino (requires Moon Stone).
    35. Clefairy - found near Celadon City, Mt. Moon and Cerulean City.
    36. Clefable - evolved Clefairy (requires Moon Stone).
    37. Vulpix (B) - found near Cinnabar Island, Routes 7 and 8.
    38. Ninetales (B) - evolved Vulpix (requires Fire Stone).
    39. Jigglypuff - found near Route 3.
    40. Wigglytuff - evolved Jigglypuff (requires Moon Stone).
    41. Zubat - found in most caves.
    42. Golbat - evolved Zubat (L22).
    43. Oddish (R) - found almost everywhere!
    44. Gloom (R) - evolved Oddish (L21).
    45. Vileplume (R) - evolved Gloom (requires Leaf Stone).
    46. Paras - found near Mt. Moon and Safari Zone.
    47. Parasect - evolved Paras (L24).
    48. Venonat - found near Routes 12 through 15.
    49. Venomoth - evolved Venonat (L31).
    50. Diglett - found in Diglett's Cave.
    51. Dugtrio - evolved Diglett (L26).
    52. Meowth (B) - found in Routes 5 through 8.
    53. Persian (B) - evolved Meowth (L28).
    54. Psyduck - found near Routes 24 and 25.
    55. Golduck - evolved Psyduck (L33).
    56. Mankey (R) - found in Routes 5 through 8.
    57. Primeape (R) - evolved Mankey (L28).
    58. Growlithe (R) - found in Routes 7 and 8, and Cinnabar Island.
    59. Arcanine (R) - evolved Growlithe (requires Fire Stone).
    60. Poliwag - found almost everywhere with water!
    61. Poliwhirl - evolved Poliwag (L25).
    62. Poliwrath - evolved Poliwhirl (requires Water Stone).
    63. Abra - found near Celadon City and Routes 24 and 25.
    64. Kadabra - evolved Abra (L16).
    65. Alakazam - evolved Kadabra (must be traded to change).
    66. Machop - found near Victory Road and Route 10.
    67. Machoke - evolved Machop (L28).
    68. Machamp - evolved Machoke (must be traded to change).
    69. Bellsprout (B)- found almost everywhere!
    70. Weepinbell (B)- evolved Bellsprout (L21).
    71. Victreebell(B)- evolved Weepinbell (requires Leaf Stone).
    72. Tentacool - found almost everywhere!
    73. Tentacruel - evolved Tentacool (L30).
    74. Geodude - found in Mt. Moon and Rock Tunnel.
    75. Graveler - evolved Geodude (L25).

    1. I honestly don't even know what to Google to get a clue about this one. Jesus.

    2. Pretty sure it's vodkanaut's dry rub barbecue recipe.

  3. One day when I was riding on the train I seen these two pinks talking
    About the commenting reign had fallen.
    I didn't say nothing ‘cause these kids caught my star,
    Even wore a coat with Raysism’s avatar.
    Saw this grey with no swagger, and ninjas blazed the cloak and dagger,
    And tell that Shitehawk about the COTY that I am.
    I can rock with BBAM, eat DJ Jeff’s fake ham,
    Oh yes, I'm the bad man, and bad men type black.
    And if it comes to droppin' F bombs, hey yo, I'm with that.

    Yeah, I can freak, fly, flow – but fuck what Drew says.
    Don't understand his ways, and I ain't down with Jez.
    You wanna grab my style that was made from my mom and my dad,
    When I was young I used to comment with a notepad.
    Then Steve U and somehow I knew that I was bad to the bone.
    Black humor prodigy since the age of twenty.
    I could write a comment, cancel it out and write a next one,
    Right on the spot, then blank it out with a dot.

    IMG threw me some smooth shit, Bevraj roared.
    Stick up your Kruk joke, everybody hit the floor.
    Okay it's you, Marv, the hard rock of the pack,
    Don't wanna kneel to my brothers, you must be holin'.
    Bust some shit in his chest, and laugh at “That Guy” trollin’.
    Why did I have to do it? He asked for it.
    CJ saw it, and it don't mean shit to me.
    He's gone, that's how it's supposed to be....check it out now.

    I ain't goin' out like one-balll Lance shit that’s dead,
    Have you heard I’m the best, the next Ark Fred.
    He’s not here and that’s bad,
    And with no sign of MKM around, you know we all sad.

  4. Why do people poke the ninja? Rex Hardbody, I'm looking at you.

    1. I think people think they're showing how in-the-know they are. It's the same kind of crap that gets people in trouble in other guises: making comments to gratify yourself or show how cool or popular you are, rather than to make the site more enjoyable for any old schmo who comes along.

    2. aaand...Rex is now starred! From hineyhole to starring in 30mins. Using the line "It's hard to hit a 90+ MPH tiny ball with a thin wooden stick consistently." Ok then.

    3. It was a good comment that got him starred. Remember, it was totally sober analysis from IronMikeGallego that got him starred before he ever made his first joke. And, lest we all forget, one of Deadspin's very best commenters very recently had his stuff moved off-thread for being less-than-worthy. It happens all the time. If getting shipped off-thread meant one could not have a star, half the current crop of featured commenters would be grey.

      It's worth noting, though, that most of Detective Rex Hardbody's commenting is done on Jezebel. Not a great sign.

    4. Stars going away is sort of a bummer, I think, but one thing that won't be missed is the "promote and star" button.

    5. I'll start refreshing before I post any day now.

      I know the "starring for a serious comment" thing has worked out before, but isn't it in cases of totally new (and/or pink) commenters? After that, they either figure it out and make jokes, go away, or become a nuisance. Fine, get starred for a serious comment, but if you commented all the time and never made another joke, that would stink, right? Isn't that Hardbody's M.O.?

      Point is: if you're unstarred for not being funny, I don't get why not being funny earns your star back. And, while we're discussing it, I didn't think his comment in the umpire post was all that good. It was long, though.

    6. I don't think Detective Rex Hardbody was ever starred before and lost it for not being funny. If so, it was a quiet starring and de-starring.

      And I also wouldn't characterize DRH as having an M.O. that consists of not making jokes - there are a handful of jokes found among this person's Deadspin contributions.

      All of that said, it would not surprise me to find that this was an accidental starring. And I don't think DRH is going to turn out to be much of a Deadspin commenter (as we currently define Deadspin commenting). But commenters - even great commenters - have been starred for this same kind of comment before. I don't think the comment in question was a mind-blower, but it certainly falls under the "be smart and thought-provoking and literate" guidelines for non-joking.

      On the other hand, if I were a grey commenter who worked hard to make jokes, I would be pretty confused and annoyed by the starring of a commenter who'd just been shipped to #hineyholeisland the same day.

    7. The ninja loves to point out that people are starred for a full body of work rather than a single comment (not necessarily true with the editors).

      But the serious startings do happen. I'm another who got their star from the ninja on a long serious comment rather than a joke.

    8. Shitehawk, Rex lost their star via ninja one post before Barry gave them one.

      I hate this phone for commenting here. I meant starrings, not startings.

    9. I could be wrong, but Detective Rex Hardbody might have gotten his star ) on the old Gawker platform where having a star at one site (say Jezebel) meant you had a star on all the platforms. Mine works this way.

      I am starred at Lifehacker, Gizmodo, etc.

      Not saying I know this for a fact, but perhaps that's the case.

    10. Talibs Rap SheetJune 1, 2012 at 2:12 PM

      Ok, I saw Cobra's first comment, and went looking for what he did to provoke the Ninja, lest I miss a Ninja smackdown. The first thing I run across, though, is the guy being starred, and I knew people were going to have opinions about that. Here's mine, in case anyone wants to read:

      I don't think the starring was accidental. Deadspin has made it painfully clear that "thoughtful discussion" will be tolerated, if not encouraged. The last COTF highlighted only un-funny comments. Barry was hard at work, and didn't have time to see the stinkbombs Mr. Hardbody was lobbing elsewhere. He saw the "thoughtful" comment, and wanted to show the world that those types of comments will be encouraged. That's my theory. And like people told me the other day, none of these discussions about stars will be relevant very soon anyway.

    11. I wonder when DRH first got that star? Granted, there are a lot of starred commenters on Deadspin of late who I don't recognize, but my hunch is it's as RMJ=H suggests: he got that star elsewhere and it's transferable. Or it'll be a long search through that guy's history to find his original star comment. From the looks of things 99% of his commenting is done over on Jezebel.

      The traveling star is an interesting quirk for me; I've had a star for a good long while now on two Gawker sites, but I am grey on all others. Both of my stars were earned, in the sense that they were bestowed upon individual comments, rather than just following me from site to site.

    12. [I actually misspoke earlier, when I included pink commenters in the group of folks who could be starred for serious comments, I meant to say "approved"]

      My main point is: his commenting chops are well-established at this point. He doesn't make many jokes. The ninja destarred him for, in part at least, a comment that looked like a troll attempt. I have always thought that a serious pink promotion or a serious starring meant "that was good, make some jokes, too". But if you already know the guy isn't making jokes, why re-star him, and why do it immediately after he was de-starred? I think it was accidental, but if it was purposeful, I assume it's because Barry was clueless about Hardbody's other efforts.

      Also, I don't think he's a universal star. I clicked on some of his recent stuff, and he was promoted at Jezebel, and his other profile pages don't show stars elsewhere. Either way, case in point why we can't afford the ninjas to be de-emphasized, in my opinion.

    13. If you need to talk about the power struggle, Comment_Ninja, I'm here for you.

    14. BH - It's still possible he's a universal star but just unstarred at Jezebel. For example, it wouldn't surprise me if Phin was starred at Gizmodo. Again, this is total lazy speculation. But, as I'm sure you're aware, that's my commenting style anyhow.

      Also, I had no idea that Raysism coached girls lacrosse? Who knew?

    15. I, too, will miss the active ninjas. In addition to keeping the commenting clean, the ninja account occasionally makes some really funny comments in the course of beating up bad commenters. I wish they weren't taking away the public shamings.

      Is it fair to say his commenting chops are well-established? I guess I'll have to go take a second look through his history, but it seemed to me that he'd made very few Deadspin comments overall, and a couple of those were mid-guided joke attempts.

      This is definitely a mystery (although I'm not sure it's worth the I-Team treatment we're giving it, especially given that all stars are going away soon).

    16. A Guy who knows what he is talking aboutJune 1, 2012 at 3:13 PM

      Here's what happened:

      The ninjas took Hardbody's star away and admonished him/her for coming over from Jezebel to piss on a whole page of Deadspin comments.

      Barry gave it back on the next post.

      The editors and the ninjas are two separate groups. One thing this means is that their actions will not always be in perfect sync. Another thing it means is that the editors, unlike the ninjas, have a button that both promotes a comment and stars the person who made it, and they often use it unintentionally.

      Stars are going away soon. Whether Hardbody has one to lose is not that big a deal. What matters is whether s/he makes any more obnoxious meta-comments anytime soon, or has learned his/her lesson.

    17. @A guy

      The point was, why did Barry give it back on the next post? Does he like Hardbody, is Hardbody an old-time universal star and therefore somehow bulletproof, did Barry just love that long-ass comment, was he poking at the ninjas, was it accidental?

      It obviously makes no difference in the long run, except that while we had stars, it was irritating how they were very difficult to get for the people who deserved them, and much less difficult for the people who didn't.

    18. A Guy who knows what he is talking aboutJune 1, 2012 at 3:47 PM

      That's a fair question, but sadly, the answer is almost certainly that he promoted the comment using the easiest method available to editors, which also automatically stars the commenter.

    19. @Shitehawk

      You lost me at the part about IMG doing any sort of "sober analysis."

      But I'm completely with you about the active ninjing. It will be missed, and the public shamings are additive both for the messages they send and the humor value. The majority of the time, anyway.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. You know who else wondered endlessly and unproductively about stars? That one astronomer nobody's ever heard of.

  7. Since we're doing star investigations:

    ShiteHawk mentioned the notion of a gray commenter being bothered by seemingly unwarranted/confusing starrings. I definitely did that before I got a star, and in fact took the time to email a friend (a starred commenter) about one that made no sense to me.

    1. I think the editors are lurking here and are just having big ol' laugh and fucking with the obsessive commenters. Why else would this have earned a star? It's a more fun theory than accidental "promote-and-starring".

    2. Talibs Rap SheetJune 1, 2012 at 3:33 PM

      Came here to point that out. You might be on to something, anonymousse.

    3. The author of the article was the one who was starred.

  8. For a sneak peak at life after the Powwow conversion, head over and check out the pink comments in the compression shorts post. Hey, guy, thanks for the tip on where to buy jujitsu shorts!

    1. I think you mean sneak peek.!/StealthMountain!/StealthMountain/favorites

    2. Jesus, that was an awful typo. Looks like I'm ready for PowWow!

    3. I really hope you take the bait that TraMaI laid out for you.

      A tour through the history of DUAN might be beneficial to him/her right about now.

  9. Gamboa earned COTF... again? What a joke. This is NBA Draft Lottery, Bill Simmons - Boston Celtics, Giorgio Tsoukalos level conspiracy shit.

    1. The Amazing SneijdermanJune 1, 2012 at 6:04 PM

      Wait, that makes perfect sense. The reason I'm not on that list is because it's Constrictor of the Fortnight, right? Right you guys!?!

    2. Shouldn'ta been you, PARS.

    3. That Tom Mees comment needed more love, too. I just pictured his not-so-made-for-TV face on that duck, and fucking lost it.

    4. Thanks. I don't really like to go to that well, but I'm a sucker for that format, and I thought it worked there.

      Plus, I have no fucking clue how to Photoshop. That Randy Johnson gif was gold, as were several others that didn't even make today's cut.

    5. Yea, going to that well may get you killed.