Tuesday, July 17, 2012

MKMOT (July 17, 2012)

I'm torn about sharing this, but I feel like it will only bring us closer. And my "colleagues" are assholes, anyway. So here goes.

The following is a transcript of an interoffice memo sent out by IMG late Sunday night:


To: mskeevs; cspiller
From: IMG
Re: Pageview Initiative

Guys-

Pageviews have been down in the last week or so. It's time to strategize.

I shouldn't have to tell you the old adage about how "sex sells." It rings as true today as ever before. As much as I hate to resort to such tactics, I hate low readership even more. So here's the directive.

For the next two days, I need each of you to post the music video that you find the most sexually arousing. CJ, you're up first. Judging by your penchant for tortured gesticulations and pork pie hats, I have a feeling I know which direction you're going to go here. Remember, you don't have to publicly declare why you chose the video, it just needs to exemplify your idea of sexy. But if it makes you at all uncomfortable, feel free to pass it off as a joke by attributing your own desires to Marv. He's obviously the fan favorite, and man enough to withstand any ridicule and/or backlash.

Marv, you go Tuesday. I trust you'll bring the goods, like always.

Regards,
IMG

PS- This is your balog. I completely wash my hands of it.




So, that's the inside scoop. I hope you find the insight valuable. Anyway, enjoy my entry, and arouse me further by bringin' it in the space underneath. It's open.



25 comments:

  1. Just rolling through.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope the balog picks up after I have my morning coffee.

    Well, it's not technically the morning, but ya smell me, french broast.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My favorite thing about Kinja is how as soon as you click on a story or your inbox, it signs you out, and won't let you sign back in. Really helpful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least it signs you in. I can't get a damn thing out of Kinja over here. Just a big fat "Sign In" in the upper right.

      Guess Deadspin just doesn't need a fresh, unique totally original Thich Quang Duc comment today. Fine.

      Delete
  4. Oh boy, this sure seems like a person who set up a new Gawker account to engage in some lively and fruitful discussions. I haven't seen anyone try to heart him yet, but he is only 3 comments into his commenting career.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How could you do this to me? Is this the cruelest of hoaxes???

    THE FAT GRAMS!!! THE FAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT GRRRRAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would send a private message to RMJ=H, but that's not possible.

    Just wanted to point out that I didn't remove your comment noting that "Last of the Brohicans" was a repeat. Must have been the powers that be. An odd thing to remove, to be sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No worries at all.

      Delete
    2. I saw the whole back and forth, and then saw it disappear, and wondered if Steve U got pissed. Glad to hear it was just KINJA'd.

      Delete
  7. Steve U - hope I didn't offend you, pal. I was just joshing you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Guy Whose Pasted Pics Keep Mysteriously Linking To Google Home Page, Even Though They Show Up When He Clicks PreviewJuly 17, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    This sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Guy Who knows that a poor ex-lawyer in NYC is poor because he is not too brightJuly 17, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    One thing I love about this whole Kinja thing is that Denton's insistence that editors contribute to the comments reminds us that most of those editors were relatively poor commenters. Exhibit A.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're an idiot.

      Delete
    2. Guy Who can spot a not too bright Guy WhoJuly 17, 2012 at 2:54 PM

      One thing I love about this whole Guy Who thing is that Guy Who worries too much about stuff that doesn't matter at all, instead of worrying about more pertinent issues, like why Guy Who can't copy and paste a link without fucking it up.

      Delete
    3. And he is/was good.

      Delete
    4. Yeah, piss off, guy. Plus, Magary has been poking his head in more and more which is never not a good thing.

      Delete
    5. You literally chose the worst possible writer/editor to make your case.

      I don't agree with Newell on everything, but cheese-mac is/was a damn good commenter.

      Delete
    6. By the way, my "And he is/was good" comment made more sense when it was directly below Skeevy's comment where he said that Sean "is/was a damn goof" commenter [sic].

      Delete
    7. That's just dumb. Even though the comment is gone for whatever reason now, and whatever it said, that's just out of line for whoever you are to say. If you're man enough to bag on people, especially people who put their names on whatever they do, then you need to own it too. DFWYCFCM was one of the most consistent commenters when he was doing it full time.

      Delete
  10. Right? That don't_forget_where_you_came_from_cheese_mac sure was awesome though.

    ReplyDelete