Friday, August 3, 2012

MKMOT (August 3, 2012)

Man, it's getting tense around here. But IMG no one said you guys have to play nice, you just have to play. I know there is one of you in particular who has been seeking props for increasing pageviews. I'm not sure I agree with the assessment on that, but I definitely note the awareness, so... Thank you for your service.

It's Friday. Distractions abound, expectations are low. In other words, we're right in your sweet spot. Got something on your mind? Let it out below this video that you aren't fooling me by pretending you aren't completely captivated by. It's open.




80 comments:

  1. Well, I can only click and post so many times a minute, but I'm trying.

    Seriously, how are pageviews and unique visitors coming? Are any of the new commenters over there finding their way over here?

    And, there was dialogue a few days back about the effect on Deadspin itself. Has anyone looked into it more seriously to see whether Kinja has had any impact?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The last 3 days have been among our most popu..., well, see the sidebar. Take some of the credit. Your activity and dedication is noted. However, a more likely theory is that we hit rock bottom after CJ posted that horrible R.E.M. video.

    As far as unique visitors... You're all unique.

    Smooches!

    -MS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eat a bags of dicks, Marv. Eat them so hard.

      Delete
  3. I'd like to think this place is something more than just a Kinja bitchfest party, but last night pissed me the fuck off.

    I was busy yesterday, so didn't get to see any of the gymnastics highlights. I live in Des Moines, IA, and between Shawn Johnson and Gabby Douglas (who, if you haven't heard moved here two years ago to train under Shawnie's coach), this town is absolutely apeshit for Team USA. So, I went to deadspin to check out Dvora's writeup (she's been freaking awesome these oympics. Really enjoying her writing), as well as Erik's cool photo post.

    Then I looked at the comments.

    Holy fuck. I almost threw my computer out of the window. There was an entire EXTREMELY RACIST conversation going on with numerous burner accounts talking about the chalk on Gabby's hands and feet. I'm sure you can let your immagination run wild, but the words "Ashy Larry" were used more than once. Fuckin' Fuck.

    So, I did what any normal American would do, took to twitter and cursed a lot. Fortunately, Dom saw it and DM'd me shortly after thanking me for the heads-up, and letting me know that the offensive offending parties had been removed from the post.

    But should it really have gotten to that? I know in their big Kinja Pitch, we were placated by the "new power" we were to be given over the comments section; being able to dismiss replies, etc. But when disgusting shit like last night's post is going on, is it really my responsibility to let the ruling Fairie Lords that their house is out of order? Is it that unreasonable for DEADSPIN to know that Kinja practically invites the scregs of internet society to the party? Shouldn't they know that stories about a black gymnast are going to bring out that disgusting vitrol? The fact that that's even the case with posts on deadspin these days might be the saddest thing of all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but those people might have some sweet tips, and Kinja is designed to protect their anonymity.

      It's like a white hood and robe!

      Delete
    2. Obviously no one likes the new Kinja system, aside from those who have super secret inside tips and info that can only get it into the righ hands via a deadspin burner account. What you have to realize is we are the minority now. We may have appeared as the majority in the previous system where only starred comments were visible to the masses. Now anyone, aside from robots who are obviously too stupid to crack the character code, can create a burner account and have instant gratification to see their terrible comments immediately.

      While we may all want to believe that Deadspin has our interests in mind, they are a business just like any other. They would prefer to appeal to moronic masses at the expense of a sophisticated small group. That's why deadspin's comment section was an outlier, it held out a lot longer than other sites. However, eventually they all give shift towards traffic over content. Your only choices are to enjoy for what it is, terrible, or move on and dedicate your new found free time to actually doing your job at work.

      Delete
    3. Hey! I am NOT sophisticated.

      And I work nights.

      Delete
    4. Wasn't the entire ostensible point of the Kinja switch to foster discussion WITH the article's authors/the place's minders (and "create content" that way)? Wouldn't that presuppose that editors/interns/faeries/wood elves/sprites are paying MORE attention to the comment section, so as to head off stuff like this?

      Delete
    5. Holy shit, that's bad.

      Delete
  4. USWNT airing LIVE right now. I love this team.

    Carry on.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha trampolines remind me of The Simpsons.

    [drools]
    [eats a booger]
    [orders more "From the desk of Gawker Media's CEO" stationery]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Update: As some posts below note, the foul came outside the penalty area & thus couldn't have been a penalty.

      We did it! We got a tip and improved a story in the discussions!

      [sits back and smiles]
      [chews contently on that booger, savoring the sweet taste of success]

      Delete
  6. It's been taken care of.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Guy Who Would Fistfight 90% Of The Burner Accounts If He CouldAugust 3, 2012 at 12:19 PM

    How much do you want to bet person that left the comment about "Ladies/kitchen/derp" in the Alex Morgan post has never seen a naked breast that wasn't on his television?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy Who States the ObviousAugust 3, 2012 at 12:46 PM

      Well, he does have a computer.

      Delete
  8. Can someone fill me in on which parody twitter accounts are run by past or present deadspin commenters?

    And please say @liljamesrome is one. Because that one is just hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bellwether JohnsonAugust 3, 2012 at 1:00 PM

      That's a good one. I think CPH writes a little bit for one of the fake Jesus twitters. And a bunch of other stuff, too, right?

      Delete
    2. Guy Who is not a Guy WhoAugust 3, 2012 at 1:41 PM

      Yes. @liljamesrome is.

      Delete
  9. Bellwether JohnsonAugust 3, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    One of my bands has been asked to be a part of a Christmas compilation CD for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is weird because in this particular band we run around like idiots dressed like ghostbusters with eyepatches and grass skirts. We're basically Butthole Surfers if Butthole Surfers was a They Might Be Giants cover band.

    ANYHOO -- the caveat is that we have to choose a song that is in the "public domain," which means not this song :( [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN2NNwZ1op8]

    We have to choose from these: [http://www.pdinfo.com/PD-Music-Genres/PD-Christmas-Songs.php]

    Totally WAK, I know, but any ideas or suggestions will be taken.

    PS - Is this a little too DUAN-y for this place? I'm not new here, but I'm kinda new here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's open, man. This kind of stuff is more than welcome. If I knew how to make the links functional, I would.

      Delete
    2. This work? Also, what's your music like?

      A bouncy "I Saw Three Ships" could work as a fun/pop-punky straight read, is elastic enough to take some lyrical/musical twisting (time-signature play), and is smack in the middle of that list.

      Delete
    3. Bellwether JohnsonAugust 3, 2012 at 1:52 PM

      @sTf

      Never heard that song (same goes for a surprising number of songs on that list). It would be pretty hipsterish of us to record a christmas song that's too cool for everyone to know.

      We're you're average early-mid 90's Alt Rock outfit. We cover The Pixies. I believe that's pretty self-explanatory.

      Delete
    4. This is a very uptempo version of Go Tell It on the Mountain by the Kingston Trio.

      Gonna try a link: Go Tell It on the Mountain

      Delete
    5. YOU ARE SO OLD!

      /Puts headphones back on
      //Clicks "play" on The Animals

      Delete
    6. StF

      I really wish you hadn't brought that up. Now I'm sitting here thinking about what Eric Burdon would have sounded like singing traditional Christmas songs.

      Delete
  10. Guy Who Will Never Understand How tater Had A Star At One PointAugust 3, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    TAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I threw this out there in DUAN last night: I want to get you ass gaskets together in person. I am in NYC, the meet and drink capital of the world. I can host the event. Could be late August, but don't know the day of the week. Friday would be cool as you could see how much money I make (will no longer make) in the bar business. Plus I have a bunch of bottles of peppermint schnapps that no one orders... FREE! I have a few contacts at Deadspin and might look to get them involved. CHEERS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If there is any way I'd be able to make it, I will.

      Delete
    2. I totally planned on getting to your bar last month when I was there, but then DS did away with PMs, so I lost touch on doing so. And you didn't have a Twitter account at the time.

      Delete
    3. Sounds good to this ass gasket.

      Delete
    4. And, as I told you in DUAN ... I now hate you. I get ~35 days a year without the family, and 20 of them are during Ramadan in Dubai while they galavant around the Midwest. It happened that 2 of my free days were in NYC and you couldn't be bothered to show up at your own bar. You're a bastard.

      Oh, and I am coming to the US in late August - technically to LA, but I'll find a way to route through NYC.

      So, yes, I'm in!!1!

      Delete
    5. You're on twitter? Am I following you? Whats your handle?

      Delete
    6. Make it after the 24th and I'm there. I'll bring the vuvuzelas.

      Delete
    7. Starred For Life (@newfat-leaveher) on twitter. I think a Saturday is probably the best. Either 8/25 or 9/8.

      Delete
  12. Can we all agree that anyone who still puts a fake star on their avatar is a douchebag? If the best commenters in the business don't feel the need to do so, why would a fourth-tier one?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you calling me a fucking fourth-tier commenter? Because I'm clearly a fifth-tier.

      Delete
    2. Mangini In A BottleAugust 3, 2012 at 3:04 PM

      Oh, I fully admit that putting one on mine was a douchey move. I guess I figured that the humor quotient was slightly more than it actually ended up being. But then again, I'm rarely known for bringing the funny around these parts or the mothership.

      Anything else this fourth-tier commenter can do to make you feel better? Freshen your drink? Tugjob? Job ON a tugboat? The Biblical Job on a tugboat? Driving said tugboat over Biblical Job with one hand while proceeding with aforementioned tugjob utilizing the other hand?

      Delete
    3. @Guy Who

      Hey, you've moved on!

      Also, to save you time, my avatar is clearly a phallic substitute for my own inadequacies. Have fun with that too.

      Delete
    4. And clearly "douchebag" is soooo 2008. Today the preferred term is "fuckbucket."

      Delete
    5. Guy Who Typically Hates On DubaiAugust 3, 2012 at 3:38 PM

      Again, that's not me. But if you want to assume that all Guy Whos are the same person, if you ever decide to murder "him", just remember Guy Fieri's birth name is Guy Who.

      Delete
    6. Guy Who Likes Those Who Self-IndictAugust 3, 2012 at 3:39 PM

      OK, so we've established that you are a fuckbucket.

      This was a good night!

      Delete
    7. Guy Who Likes Finding Clues About The True Identity Of The Normal Guy WhosAugust 3, 2012 at 3:44 PM

      [Reads thread carefully]
      [Examines clock]
      [Rereads thread carefully]
      [Puts on thinking cap]

      Delete
    8. Tier One: Possesses superlative sense of humor, timing and writing ability; high percentage of multi +1 comments, with frequent home run ability; a COTY or potential COTY.

      EXAMPLES: Steve U, Eddie Murray Sparkles, Raysism, Gamboa Constrictor

      Tier Two: Extremely funny and a highly recognizable commenter; may possess future Tier One material.

      EXAMPLES: Bronze Hammer, UweBullocks, SavetoFavorites

      Tier Three: Former starred commenter; considered funny, but may lack signature comment; may comment infrequently.

      EXAMPLES: Erg, IronMikeGallego

      Tier Four: Has star in avatar.

      EXAMPLE: Freeman McNeil

      Tier Five: Guy Who.

      EXAMPLES: Guy Who Wrote This Comment, Phintastic

      Delete
    9. @Guy Who Typically Hates on Dubai

      "Again"? Where was the first time?

      Stand tall and be proud, though. Marv would want it that way (He rightfully denied my claim; but, as he said, he knows that someone else deserves the credit for increased pageviews.)

      Delete
    10. Hey Pyramid Guy Who:

      "Tier Three: Former starred commenter; considered funny, but may lack signature comment; may comment infrequently.

      EXAMPLES: Erg, IronMikeGallego "

      When did Erg get his star again? Nice guy, but Phin got (and lost) a dozen more stars than did our elderly friend.

      Also, let's wait until Gamboa actually does something noteworthy other than edit a balog before we give him COTY status.

      Delete
    11. When will tiers 6 - 8 be released? [crosses fingers]

      Delete
    12. @ Guy Who Is Not Quite Sure Of This Pyramid

      The difference is that Erg's ever made a funny joke.

      Delete
    13. The star in the picture was a joke that obviously people (person?) have taken a bit too seriously. Out of respect for the mods here, and to stop my part in contributing to this ridiculous thread, I swapped back to my original picture. Will this make you happy? Can you find something else to be not humorous about?

      Delete
    14. Actually no, I got it. Fuck them and ERG haters. Keep the star Mr. McNeil, no McNeil's I know of ever backed down from a fight. They don't pit their handle to it, they are fucking sniveling cowards.

      Delete
    15. Put their handle to it you idiot.

      Delete
    16. Fuck that. A couple months ago, Erg gave us this gem in DUAN and it was fucking hilarious.

      If you're going to talk shit about other commenters, use your real handle.

      Delete
    17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    18. Sorry anon, even if I read that sober it would be convoluted.

      So you are offically a fuckbucket, dickface.

      Sorry, I redacted that, the sarge can fight his own battles, anon.

      Delete
    19. Jeez anonymous, I haven't commented on Deadspin in weeks and barely even comment over here anymore and you still have hate for me? Get a grip dude.

      Delete
    20. Phin, don't waste your time or talent. It's not worth it.

      Delete
    21. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 3, 2012 at 11:17 PM

      Time I have a little of, talent? Hardly. I think my last funny comment was last summer. Or maybe I had one this year. Can't recall, which probably isn't a real strong endorsement.

      Delete
    22. Well, I misread the initial attack and thought you were anonymously attacking a commenter... so I was still right.

      Knock it off.

      Delete
    23. That was actually me, Hammerclaw, unless you're being funny, but either way that comment about me being hardly talented was from me. The Real Phin.

      IF WE HAD PMs I COULD PROVE IT.

      Delete
    24. Well now don't I feel foolish.

      Nope, I'll be honest, I absolutely thought it was just another anonymous troll talking shit. If you haven't noticed, we've had quite a bit of that going on lately, so it's hard to distinguish between the satirical ones and the real ones.

      You know, you could just join twitter like everybody else around here. They've got a pretty nice direct messaging system too!

      Delete
  13. Sheesh, all these angry dicky Guy Whos are ruining it for this Guy Who just likes posting silly usernames and pics.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Whoever is commenting as imfreshsowhatmuahh, you're not helping.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Guys, the Michael Phelps Nine-Year Old Swim Times post was littered with absolute gems. Instead of giving +1's to half the comments, Ray, Mav, EMS, Mantis, Lionel, SaveToFaves and Bronzie, this Bud's for you. It's nice that amidst all the negativity and frustrations which come part and parcel with the new commenting system, that there are those sacrificing their jobs to make others laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  16. And here I thought I was in an angry mood this week. Good lord.

    Also, Marv, I take back any requests for credit from driving traffic.

    So ... burritos anyone?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also, I just re-read that thread carefully as advised to do so by one of the Guy Who's partway through. I assume the suspicion is that because one of the other Guy Who's (this is very confusing) said "good night" that I was somehow involved in the attacks.

      To be clear, I wasn't. I've got absolutely nothing against Freeman or anyone on here who uses their real handle. That was either some other foreigner (I'm not the only one), or my favorite anonymous friend on here stepping up to a new level.

      There was an editorial policy a while back here that any anonymous attacks would just be deleted. Any chance of bringing that back?

      Delete
    2. If you could see the confusion on my face right now...

      I went through everything above, and found one anonymous attack, so I deleted it. Are you saying the thing about the star avatars was specific to you? Or the Guy Fieri thing???

      I'm lost. In so many ways. I once had a soul.

      Delete
    3. No, I assume the star avatar thing was about Freeman or Mangini given that they both then defended themselves. Either way, calling someone a fourth-tier commenter is an anonymous attack, no? That's what started the whole thread.

      Then, halfway through the thread "Guy Who Normally Hates on Dubai" chose to chime in, followed by "Guy Who Likes to Self Indict" calling someone (Freeman? Not sure, it was confusing) a "fuckbucket" (clever, that one) and said "this was a good night".

      Immediately afterwards "Guy Who Likes Finding Clues" posted what I assume was an attempt to point blame on me because it was night in my part of the world but day in the US.

      My working hypothesis is that all three of those "Guy Whos" were the same person, but even if not I just wanted to be clear that none of them were me.

      You're right. That is all very confusing. But, thankfully I never had a soul, so really have nothing to lose.

      Delete
    4. Guy Who Is Marv Skeevy's TherapistAugust 4, 2012 at 4:18 AM

      /ponders upcoming workload
      //kills self

      Delete
    5. I'm not in love with that pyramid thing by any means, but I guess I struggle to interpret the comments that followed. Guy Who Diagnostics and Interpretations was only my minor (Toys/Figurines being the major, of course. Honors program.)

      It appears Erg, Phintastic, Gamboa, and Freeman McNeil could all be offended, if not others, no? Freeman certainly seemed to handle it admirably. The others involved pretty much seemed to have ignored it, deservedly. Long story short, I'm confused, and if anyone specifically points me to where they were specifically targeted, and wishes for it to be deleted, done your way.

      Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with my therapist. Certainly he'll be eager to see me.

      Delete
    6. I'm bemused, rather than offended. The pyramid started out decently enough, but when it hit:

      Tier Three: Former starred commenter; considered funny, but may lack signature comment; may comment infrequently.

      EXAMPLES: Erg, IronMikeGallego

      I had to figure the silly thing was not meant to be taken seriously. Hell, IronMike would deserve Tier One if all he ever did was his boxing threads, and that's not the case by a long shot. And placing me on Tier Three was just wrong. My tier is not some simple number. It has gravitas. It reads "Abandon All Hope". Former starred? I was never approved. I accidentally snuck in through the Twitter hole. So y'all can quit blaming each other for approving me.

      I would like to thank Sgt. Hammerclaw for taking me back to my one shining moment on Deadspin. But it's not like that comment wasn't going to get made. I just got to it first. I'll be happy with one of those a year.

      Delete