Friday, September 21, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 12 (September 22-23, 2012)

Well, it's the weekend, which is historically bad for balog traffic. Which means it would pretty much be a waste of a bullet for me to post one of my more disagreeable selections. So, with that, I'll give you another much-needed musical palate cleanser before proceeding to the unquestionably horrible song below, that none of you will dare contest, and letting you know that it is, in fact, open.



32 comments:

  1. EDITOR'S NOTE: This appears to be trolling, but it is legitimate, instant station-change HATE. I'm nothing if not genuine. In conclusion,

    FIGHT ME!

    ReplyDelete
  2. “Tasteless Silence” [Ode to Marv Skeevy]

    Born a deaf and tasteless man
    Unable to attract a wife,
    A miserable lonely existence
    Never had the time of his life.

    An unsavory vile young man
    Using his words to make others hurt,
    His only pleasure to pleasure himself
    And whistle while he twurt.

    Scared to go out in public
    Never making it past his driveway,
    Not really having a life at all
    Because life is a highway.

    Unable to taste or to hear
    His senses shot to shit,
    Unable to enjoy a good time
    Or ever get jiggy wit it.


    Abused, bullied and beaten
    The children called him "retardo,"
    His only childhood friends, the Ninja Turtles
    Oh, “hey Leonardo”.

    Alone in his parent's basement
    Just his computer, a couch, and a fridge,
    Balogging his hate for all great songs
    And trolling from under the bridge.

    Drinking away all his misery
    Sipping until he was woozy,
    Drunken posts on Craigslist casual encounters
    Begging others just to “use me”

    Depression getting the best of him
    Left him reaching for his gun,
    Gun to temple, started to piss himself
    Oh look how far we’ve come.

    Hand shaking and heart racing
    Stomach tied up in knots,
    Finally having the nerve to pull the trigger
    His skull waited for the shots.

    Brains splattered against the wall
    Body cold and gray,
    Heartbeat stopped and eyes closed shut
    His soul to fly away.

    A dying wish of cremation,
    Whatever got rid of his body faster,
    So upon the family mantle he rests
    In an urn, brimful of asha.

    Let this be a lesson to all
    Who think that bashing great music is fun,
    A hopeless life cut short by misery for you
    Just a blister in the sun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good 40-50% of this is factually inaccurate.

      I hate you.

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    2. You are a beautiful, beautiful soul, Madoffs Mets.

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    3. That is absolutely fantastic.

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    4. This is, by far, your best one yet. +1

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    5. I am so fucking glad I checked the balog this weekend.

      Delete
  3. If you hate this song, you are definitely under 30. This is a very good song off of an amazing album. When I started high school, this was the fucking shit.

    That being said, I get that it's totally overplayed and probably viewed as cheezy-retro by you youngsters, so I'll give you a pass here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I haven't turned 30, I bet I'll still HATE it when I do. It's horrible, acclaim and historical relevance notwithstanding.

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    2. I'm way over 30. A friend gave me this album on cassette tape, for crying out loud. I hated it then. I hate it more now.

      Delete
  4. I DARE YOU TO BE MORE WRONG SKEEVY!

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    Replies
    1. What? Is it Day 13? I only count the weekends as one.

      Delete
  5. True Story: This was the song playing when I caught my prom date making out with another guy (an older guy with a few kids who had somehow wound up at our extremely ghetto prom).

    The only thing that makes it worse is that witnessing a girl I was on a date with get frisky with somebody is still probably my happiest memory of my high school social life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. /starts coming around on song a little bit

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    2. I would have guessed Kiss Off was playing.

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  6. I just let Google translate that story linked in the blip from Dutch to English, and it is hilarious.

    Sex on toilet during baseball game
    Not only on the field during the baseball game between New York Yankees and Tampa Ray Boys (final score 5-3) fell last weekend to score points, also one of the restrooms of Yankee Stadium was scored.

    For two fans, the game was apparently not exciting enough, so they withdrew during the second inning on the toilet according to eyewitnesses, then at least three innings to rampetampen.

    Love Game
    This under ever-increasing interest from other Yankees fans who love making photographs and recordings of both under the toilet door and from adjacent toilets.

    When the couple had had enough of their sekscapades and left the toilet, they were loud cheers and applause. To log sports blog Deadspin , which is also a video of the incident on the site continued .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And this from the sidebar:


      Deceased husband after attack schapenbok

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    2. Wonderful! Why has it taken this long to come across rampetampen? "Wife! We're going upstairs to RAMPETAMPEN!"

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    3. Exactly!

      klompen, heb ik gelijk???

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    4. Oh, ik hoop het niet.

      /Thanks for the introduction to Google translate.

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    5. I love that they called us the Tampa Ray Boys.

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    6. @Raysism

      I just took that as a sign that the Dutch are Yankees fans.

      Delete
  7. Just because it popped up today:

    Get Together

    ReplyDelete
  8. Here's the critical reaction to Deadspin's all-gif football wrapup policy, in one .gif.

    ReplyDelete