Friday, September 21, 2012
MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 12 (September 22-23, 2012)
Well, it's the weekend, which is historically bad for balog traffic. Which means it would pretty much be a waste of a bullet for me to post one of my more disagreeable selections. So, with that, I'll give you another much-needed musical palate cleanser before proceeding to the unquestionably horrible song below, that none of you will dare contest, and letting you know that it is, in fact, open.
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EDITOR'S NOTE: This appears to be trolling, but it is legitimate, instant station-change HATE. I'm nothing if not genuine. In conclusion,
ReplyDeleteFIGHT ME!
“Tasteless Silence” [Ode to Marv Skeevy]
ReplyDeleteBorn a deaf and tasteless man
Unable to attract a wife,
A miserable lonely existence
Never had the time of his life.
An unsavory vile young man
Using his words to make others hurt,
His only pleasure to pleasure himself
And whistle while he twurt.
Scared to go out in public
Never making it past his driveway,
Not really having a life at all
Because life is a highway.
Unable to taste or to hear
His senses shot to shit,
Unable to enjoy a good time
Or ever get jiggy wit it.
Abused, bullied and beaten
The children called him "retardo,"
His only childhood friends, the Ninja Turtles
Oh, “hey Leonardo”.
Alone in his parent's basement
Just his computer, a couch, and a fridge,
Balogging his hate for all great songs
And trolling from under the bridge.
Drinking away all his misery
Sipping until he was woozy,
Drunken posts on Craigslist casual encounters
Begging others just to “use me”
Depression getting the best of him
Left him reaching for his gun,
Gun to temple, started to piss himself
Oh look how far we’ve come.
Hand shaking and heart racing
Stomach tied up in knots,
Finally having the nerve to pull the trigger
His skull waited for the shots.
Brains splattered against the wall
Body cold and gray,
Heartbeat stopped and eyes closed shut
His soul to fly away.
A dying wish of cremation,
Whatever got rid of his body faster,
So upon the family mantle he rests
In an urn, brimful of asha.
Let this be a lesson to all
Who think that bashing great music is fun,
A hopeless life cut short by misery for you
Just a blister in the sun.
A good 40-50% of this is factually inaccurate.
DeleteI hate you.
You are a beautiful, beautiful soul, Madoffs Mets.
DeleteThat's spectacular.
DeleteThat is absolutely fantastic.
DeleteThis is, by far, your best one yet. +1
DeletePerfection
DeleteUnfuckingreal.
DeleteI am so fucking glad I checked the balog this weekend.
DeleteGod DAMN.
DeleteIf I haven't turned 30, I bet I'll still HATE it when I do. It's horrible, acclaim and historical relevance notwithstanding.
ReplyDeleteI DARE YOU TO BE MORE WRONG SKEEVY!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Is it Day 13? I only count the weekends as one.
DeleteUnbelievably, this might actually be bad news.
ReplyDeleteTrue Story: This was the song playing when I caught my prom date making out with another guy (an older guy with a few kids who had somehow wound up at our extremely ghetto prom).
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that makes it worse is that witnessing a girl I was on a date with get frisky with somebody is still probably my happiest memory of my high school social life.
/starts coming around on song a little bit
DeleteI would have guessed Kiss Off was playing.
DeleteI'm way over 30. A friend gave me this album on cassette tape, for crying out loud. I hated it then. I hate it more now.
ReplyDeleteI just let Google translate that story linked in the blip from Dutch to English, and it is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteSex on toilet during baseball game
Not only on the field during the baseball game between New York Yankees and Tampa Ray Boys (final score 5-3) fell last weekend to score points, also one of the restrooms of Yankee Stadium was scored.
For two fans, the game was apparently not exciting enough, so they withdrew during the second inning on the toilet according to eyewitnesses, then at least three innings to rampetampen.
Love Game
This under ever-increasing interest from other Yankees fans who love making photographs and recordings of both under the toilet door and from adjacent toilets.
When the couple had had enough of their sekscapades and left the toilet, they were loud cheers and applause. To log sports blog Deadspin , which is also a video of the incident on the site continued .
And this from the sidebar:
DeleteDeceased husband after attack schapenbok
Wonderful! Why has it taken this long to come across rampetampen? "Wife! We're going upstairs to RAMPETAMPEN!"
DeleteExactly!
Deleteklompen, heb ik gelijk???
Oh, ik hoop het niet.
Delete/Thanks for the introduction to Google translate.
I love that they called us the Tampa Ray Boys.
Delete@Raysism
DeleteI just took that as a sign that the Dutch are Yankees fans.
The hollow shell around my soul is lined with exquisite crown molding.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone, friend.
DeleteJust because it popped up today:
ReplyDeleteGet Together
I sure hope comments can be monetized, because this one's pure gold.
ReplyDeleteHere's the critical reaction to Deadspin's all-gif football wrapup policy, in one .gif.
ReplyDelete