Tuesday, January 31, 2012

DUAN DUAN DUAN DUAN (JUST A RANT)

Hey, here's a little ranty rant that does not set forth rules, guidelines, or anything else official-sounding, just the personal sentiments of one person who has a free blog that he occasionally updates and which people with nothing better to do occasionally read.


Look, let's start with the obvious.  DUAN is an open forum.  Use it as you wish.  Use it to trade recipes, bitch about your fantasy team (fucking Adrian Peterson, amirite?), use it to link to awesome music on Youtube that the world wouldn't know existed if you weren't there to lead them, in Jesus-like fashion, to the glorious light (I am talking to you, Uwe).  That's what it's there for.

Of course, there are some rules.  Don't post anything racist or homophobic or sexist or rip on the editors (even editors from other Gawker sites who occasionally post fucking brilliant boxing pieces on Deadspin) without any rationale other than trying to get attention for yourself, as if anyone could ever give a fuck about your shitty and incorrect opinion.

But I'm not here to discuss those rules.  I'm here to briefly - for me, anyway - talk about one of my pet peeves.  And that's the shop talk.  I won't call it inside baseball, because inside baseball is fine in DUAN, and something I enjoy quite a bit.  I'm talking about "why did so and so lose his star,""why don't I have a star," "who do you think the ninja/miserable shitehawk/the others from Lost are," "why is IMG so funny and Same Sad Echo so horrible," etc. etc. etc.

To repeat myself, THIS IS NOT A RULE, but why on Earth do you find this interesting?  I can't imagine.  Reading those threads, which usually consist of uninformed persons spreading misinformation, is like listening to fingernails on chalkboards for me.

To be clear, I'm not talking about a thoughtful discussion of why something worked, or didn't work, or a request for explanation of a rule or policy or what not.  I'm talking about TMZ: Deadspin Commenter Edition.  Go ahead and do it, but know that I'll be rolling my eyes and unhearting you, left and right.

I'm just playing, you know I love you, and, hey, keep reading!

29 comments:

  1. Yeah, why does Raysism always want to talk about this type of stuff? Every time I see something like that, I'm like, "Jesus, I hate this Raysism thing."

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    1. HA! Nice try. Everyone knows there are no StuartScottsEye fans.

      Delete
  2. I'd post this anonymously, but I'm the only asshole who would post this anyway, so:

    "Hey, here's a little ranty rant that does not set forth rules..."

    "Of course, there are some rules."

    The one small argument I'd make in your favor is that, of course, you didn't set the rules about decorum and sensitivity. But as you've shown many times, you know these rules exist, you just don't call them that.

    Anyway, on-topic, I actually do find the Deadspin shop talk interesting. I think it's boring/inappropriate for most veteran commenters, but for newbies such as myself, it can be an illuminating look into the history/culture of Deadspin.

    To use a recent example, I have found the Landycakeboss thing fascinating. To the outsider, he's a starred commenter, so he's as well-regarded as an AzureTexan or Hatey McLife. But to those in the know, they couldn't be any further apart. It just adds a little intrigue to the rote joke-making, in my opinion.

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    1. But, see, it isn't an illuminating look into the history/culture of Deadspin. If you want that, do what I did when I started commenting, and spend some time thumbing through the archives (not that shit that flew 3 years ago necessarily flies now). The whole point is that these discussions are almost NEVER thoughtful discussions about Deadspin's history/culture, but instead are a bunch of uninformed people sitting around trading uninformed gossip and speculation that more often than not is wrong. There is a manifesto. There are missives from the ninjas. There are literally thousands of pages of archives. All of these are more or less unimpeachable. That's where you should be learning about Deadspin's history/culture. Not from whatever some dude who won't be around in a month is saying in DUAN.

      And, to be perfectly clear, I absolutely regard Landycakeboss as being in about the same class as AzureTexan or Hatey McLife.

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    2. Hey, I resemble that remark.

      --AsoreTexan

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    3. That's all fine. I think a lot of us newer guys do peruse the archives, one of the dozen or so commenting blogs, etc.

      Just saying, if someone knew what got Phin suspended, it would be interesting because he's a prominent commenter and his edited comment left not much information about what was said initially. I mean, that's not weird, I don't think. It's just finding comments interesting; which, by this point in the conversation, surely it's clear what everyone's opinion is on that matter.

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    4. No one commenting in DUAN can say with certainty why anyone got suspended. There is an easily-located email address for the ninjas if you would ever like to ask them directly about something like this.

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    5. One more thought regarding the "culture" - don't assume that it is homogeneous or that the veteran commenters have any better or more legitimate perspective on it than does a "newbie" who has done his homework. In some areas, they may actually be further away from the spirit of the site - in particular, some (not all) of the veterans have a distinctly elitist, "I was doing this before it was cool" vibe that isn't shared by the former EiC and other editors.

      The only hierarchy that matters is based on who is currently contributing the most consistently funny jokes. Longevity, number of followers, etc. may help you get +1's from online friends or sycophants (seriously, is there anything Hume has ever written that isn't hilarious to exactly 3 people?) but given the small portion of visitors who even read the comments, and the much smaller portion who bother to comment, trying to establish rank and credibility reeks of high-school "who sits with whom at lunch" bullshit.

      Make jokes, be original, and enjoy reading others who do the same.

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    6. If anyone had seen the unedited comment, it would have been as good as a detailed explanation by a ninja. For me, it wasn't so much "Hey what'd he do, I don't want to get banned for saying what he said" as much as it was just morbid curiosity.

      I'm willing to believe I'm the exception to the rule, though. Hell, I find Deadspin commentary so interesting, I'm fascinated about a commenter who doesn't find particular aspects of Deadspin commenting all that interesting.

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    7. I can't say that I was commenting before it was cool, because it really wasn't cool until I started commenting.

      Delete
  3. Agreed.

    But give me a break - this is a comment on a blog about comments on a blog about comments on a SPORTS BLOG.

    Stop taking your seriousness about serious sports blog comments so seriously.

    I, for one, would never . . .

    /reads everything written so far
    //ponders
    ///head explodes

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  4. I Could Live Here SureJanuary 31, 2012 at 10:13 PM

    He tried to make a Beastie Boys joke, didn’t he?

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    1. Wait. You can get in trouble for that?

      [pisses self]

      Delete
  5. The real Phin, For RealJanuary 31, 2012 at 10:19 PM

    My original comment was about how +1s were my favorite comments, then I thought it was stupid, so I edited it.

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    1. comment_ninja has moved this comment to #youreneveroutsideofmyjurisdiction

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  6. Why do EMS, Same Sad Echo, Always Winning, Steve U, Bevraj of Choice, Gamboa Constrictor, Raysism, RMJ=H, Sponsored by V8, IMG and MKM have stars?

    I mean, besides the fact that they show up every day to make funny comments.

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  7. Phin is the Susan Lucci of Deadspin. Not in that he gets no respect, but in that he has blown Tony Orlando.

    -MKM

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    1. The real Phin, For RealJanuary 31, 2012 at 10:35 PM

      I told you that in confidence. Some career help he gave me after that. Bastard.

      Delete
  8. I hate all of you, because now I see Steve U's "Shop talk" DUAN thread and have no idea if it's legit, referring to this, or what.

    Oh, for the simplicity of memes and gifs on Reddit.

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    Replies
    1. All of the above.

      -Steve U

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    2. Without A Star & Mad About ItJanuary 31, 2012 at 11:14 PM

      I'm banking on the 'or what'.

      I've long since stopped trying to understand these circle jerker's inside jokes.

      Delete
  9. IMG, can you ban The Real Phin on this blog? Because that would be funny as shit.

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  10. The real Phin, For RealJanuary 31, 2012 at 11:06 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Your comment has been deleted by comment_nIMGja.

      Delete
    2. The real Phin, For RealFebruary 1, 2012 at 12:08 AM

      You suck ass

      Delete
  11. Ugh, you guys. Just, ugh.

    www.carneasadaisinferiortocarnitasinburritos.com

    ReplyDelete