The Ultimate Meta Day Spa For Guys Who Need Constant Massaging
Monday, February 13, 2012
You know what's hysterical?
When people post spelling or factual corrections to jokes. That's awesome. Because the only thing that makes a joke work more than perfect spelling, is incontrovertible factual truth. If Henny Youngman hadn't sincerely been appreciative for your act of abducting his wife, the joke just wouldn't have worked, ya know?
Hey, don't take my word for it. Listen to up and coming comedian, Lou Isekay.
I've already apologized to SSE -- I was just goofing around, but apparently it didn't come out that way. I'm not sure what I've done to this point to make anyone think that I would seriously call someone out in DUAN, but if it was taken that way, the fault is all mine.
Alright, I know there's been a lot of guesswork around here and on the sister site, deadspin.com, about who a certain new person is. The buzz in the air is certainly palpable, and, while I love the excitement, I think it's time for the truth.
I hope he doesn't get mad at me, but I have it on good authority that ours truly, I to tha M to tha G, is none other than Eric Nesterstinko. Oddly enough, IMG is not even his original account. The IMG we all know and hate actually started as the bipolar boxing beastie boy alternate life of the one and only International Poise Conspiracy.
Now I know what you're thinking - IPC was coherent and delivered pithy commentary, while Nestersmello is both scathing and obviously hung like a horse. Surely these are not attributes of the one and only Gallego-ito? They are not. Michael is a dumb, babbling, halitosis-spewing pussy who is hung like a Jeremy Lin stereotype as seen from the other end of the binoculars when you turn them around to see something up close as a smaller thing.
Why am I divulging this information? Because Mike blew me and never called me back. I told him I loved him, via text, and he replied 'l8r sk8r'. I don't even know what that means.
Mike, tomorrow is Valentine's day. Make this right.
I've already apologized to SSE -- I was just goofing around, but apparently it didn't come out that way. I'm not sure what I've done to this point to make anyone think that I would seriously call someone out in DUAN, but if it was taken that way, the fault is all mine.
ReplyDeleteNow can you pull this fucking post down!
Dude, I never received an apology. I don't even know what you're talking about.
DeleteYeah, where's the supposedly offensive post?
DeleteJust goofing around. Having fun. The Louis clip is worth listening to.
DeleteThen I owe SSE a +1 for that comment.
DeleteKnow who loves Henny Youngman? Yep, Gerald Sandusky!!!1!
ReplyDeleteWas that a polak joke?
DeleteProper language use are stupid said me on this metablog.
ReplyDeleteAlright, I know there's been a lot of guesswork around here and on the sister site, deadspin.com, about who a certain new person is. The buzz in the air is certainly palpable, and, while I love the excitement, I think it's time for the truth.
ReplyDeleteI hope he doesn't get mad at me, but I have it on good authority that ours truly, I to tha M to tha G, is none other than Eric Nesterstinko. Oddly enough, IMG is not even his original account. The IMG we all know and hate actually started as the bipolar boxing beastie boy alternate life of the one and only International Poise Conspiracy.
Now I know what you're thinking - IPC was coherent and delivered pithy commentary, while Nestersmello is both scathing and obviously hung like a horse. Surely these are not attributes of the one and only Gallego-ito? They are not. Michael is a dumb, babbling, halitosis-spewing pussy who is hung like a Jeremy Lin stereotype as seen from the other end of the binoculars when you turn them around to see something up close as a smaller thing.
Why am I divulging this information? Because Mike blew me and never called me back. I told him I loved him, via text, and he replied 'l8r sk8r'. I don't even know what that means.
Mike, tomorrow is Valentine's day. Make this right.
Make this right.
- Joe Paterno
Delete