The Ultimate Meta Day Spa For Guys Who Need Constant Massaging
Yeah but you had to beg for it! How pathetic.
Oh jesus this was supposed to be a link to our twitter conversation in DUAN last night, but Deadspin links aren't working for me lately. Sorry everybody!
6 MONTHS LATERINT. DIRK HAYHURST'S HOUSE-DAYDirk walks in the front door, looking exhausted, presumably from a long day of work. The house is barely lit until Dirk flips on the light switch. He breathes a deep, long sigh and kicks off his shoes. He sets down the briefcase he's carrying, when he notices there's a large pot sitting on his stove. With a puzzled look on his face, he realizes that the stove top is turned on, and that there is steam barely making its way out of the tiny bit of space between the rim of the pot and the lid. Suddenly, he begins to look nervous, and the rest of his walk to the stove is slow. Cautious. Once he gets to the stove, his hand, lightly trembling now, reaches up in front of him and removes the lid. His pet rabbit, barely recognizable from having its fur and skin boiled off, floats at the top. What's left of its eyes seem fixed on him, adding an extra layer of agony to the already crushing look on its dead face. He screams, and turns around to see IronMikeGallego standing in the doorway to his kitchen, wearing one of his old jockstraps and nothing else, arms stretched above his head, grasping the top of the doorway. IRONMIKEGALLEGO YOU TOLD ME YOU'D HEART ME FOREVER!!!
I heard he only hearted you to make TDK jealous.
Not only was that chat fucking awesome, I now know who to call for my tree removal needs.