Tuesday, March 27, 2012

MKM Open Thread (Mar. 27, 2012)

Welcome to your MKM Blog open thread for March 27, 2012, the day Mitt Romney got us all nuked

Good morning, everyone, and welcome back for another fun day of hanging out, drinking a few Michelob Ultras, and chatting with your friends.  At least if you have a really casual work environment, or in Gamboa's case, no work environment whatsoever.   Let's all keep it friendly and thoughtful; this isn't Hickey's twitter feed or anything.

Here's a Youtube clip to get you started.




62 comments:

  1. In Soviet Russia, youtube posts fights of you!

    Hey, it's Tuesday...who's ready for 83 youtube fight videos tonight?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone know where I can score some pipeweed?

      Delete
    2. Are you tapping my foot? Seems like you're tapping my foot.

      Delete
    3. Anybody got a pint of O-negative?

      Delete
    4. ROWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-hey, what the fuck do you mean, I "shall not pass?"

      Delete
  2. Entertaining you people in multiple forums is hard work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. And I've got such a long way to go
    (Such a long way to go)
    To make it to the border of Mexico
    So I'll ride like the wind
    Ride like the wind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You people are skating on thin ice. My client is not happy, however he is incapable of expressing himself in any way other than poignant lyricism.

      So, on his behalf, CEASE AND DESIST, IMPOSTORS!

      Delete
  4. Most overrated commenter, by far:

    this shit. Absolutely terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, thanks for the kind words, Critic guy. I hope the person you love most never gets cancer and dies. That truly would be a tragedy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mother of Lionel OsbourneMarch 27, 2012 at 1:28 PM

      Lionel Mortimer Osbourne, come down here right now! How dare you say something like that?! Apologize to that nice critic, or else you're not going to the dance this weekend.

      Delete
    2. Judging by your reaction and what happened when I click the link, I think he set it up so that it takes us all to our own profile. I think that actually happens when I link my own name, as well.

      If it really is just a shot at me, may he feast on this bag of dicks.

      Delete
    3. Father of Lionel OsbourneMarch 27, 2012 at 1:30 PM

      Goddamnit, Jeannie! What have I told you about bothering the boy when he's in his room?! The little queer's probably touchin' himself or somethin'. So just shut the hell up!

      Delete
    4. Mother of Lionel OsbourneMarch 27, 2012 at 1:31 PM

      Come down here and make me, Dan!

      Delete
    5. Father of Lionel OsbourneMarch 27, 2012 at 1:33 PM

      [slaps Jeannie Osbourne with piece of raw steak]

      Delete
    6. Without even clicking, I'm gonna guess it's me. Nice hand.

      Delete
    7. Yes, it was supposed to be a joke, linking everybody to their own comment history. I thought everybody would get it. This should make up for it:

      Most well-endowed commenter:

      this stud. What a horse-cocked and/or large-breasted individual. So virile.

      Delete
    8. Well, that's better, then. Carry on.

      Delete
  6. Mother of Lionel OsbourneMarch 27, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    That's it! Even though he ruined this bit, I'm going to live with Gamboa!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Serious question here. On the Peyton article, the Manning quote containing "He was wearing a hoodie" obviously lends itself to jokes about the Trayvon Martin case. I sat there for about 15 minutes contemplating one, opting instead to go another direction.

    I noticed that a starred commenter, jwaves2007, decided in fact to use the hoodie line and make a reference. This seems to be a hot-button topic right now, with people on both sides losing their mind. Putting aside funny/not funny, do you think going the Trayvon route at least run the risk of a de-starring? Because of race/timing/online shouting matches, is it perhaps better to avoid it altogether?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mediocre unstarred commenterMarch 27, 2012 at 1:55 PM

      You're not the only one wondering this. I almost posted a mediocre joke yesterday referencing the Trayvon Martin case in the thread about the Jaguars beat writer vs Florida cops. I'm staying away, but maybe bolder / funnier commenters can pull it off.

      Delete
    2. I hate to give such a simple answer, but I really think it's about how you do it. I don't think the topic itself would be off-limits, but who is your target? How are you wording it? There have been tons of topics I personally wouldn't even attempt a joke about (R.A. Dickey today being a great example, Nodar the luger being another memorable one) but that doesn't mean I'm seething over other people's jokes or that I haven't received a lot of praise for some pretty tasteless jokes myself (Theo Fleury joke on MBA is one that comes to mind). I'm not sure how to explain the contradiction there, but I think time is a big factor, target is another, and wording is probably the biggest key. Just one man's opinion, hope it helped.

      Delete
    3. It's best to avoid the topic if you suck at commenting like me or jwaves2007 do. If you're Bevraj or Eddie Murray Sparkles, then if you have a legitimately funny Trayvon Martin joke, let if fly.

      Delete
  8. Good god Raysism, get out of there! Just get out! There are too many of them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder if they realize that they instinctively bite on every single troll attempt that one of us has made over there?

      Delete
    2. How can they bite anything? Tennis balls don't have mouths.

      +1 on the "Apology"

      Delete
    3. It's not a stretch to say that a 40 reply troll-job on Jezebel will be one of my life's crowning achievements.

      Delete
    4. Will this make things weird for you and lawlover at the next secret lawyers convention?

      Delete
    5. "But the industry, my friends-- that was a revolution."

      Oh, yes.

      Delete
    6. Heh, Ray... you said balls.

      Delete
    7. Thanks, all. To StF's point, I couldn't stop laughing when the one chick spent four paragraphs analyzing a dog metaphor. She basically was asking for it -- "it" being the Billy Madison dog metaphor speech.

      Delete
    8. when the one chick spent four paragraphs analyzing a dog metaphor

      Sorry, you'll have to be more specific. That entire 50+ comment thread was predicated around analyzing a one sentence dog & tennis ball analogy.

      Delete
    9. The Amazing SneijdermanMarch 27, 2012 at 5:02 PM

      I mean, why do you really think the cat got loose during the basketball game?

      It was angry at being looked at like a tennis ball.

      Delete
    10. My comment:

      Quite frankly, you might as well be telling my dog to ignore the tennis ball I'm holding in my hand.

      Her analysis:

      Except that you picked an analogy where the dog has no reason to try and control its behavior. The dog wants to stare at the tennis ball, and since there's no consequences for staring and the tennis ball doesn't care, the dog stares. That's not the case for ogling strangers.

      Also, even a dog can control its instincts when it has to. My dogs will sit in front of their food bowls waiting for my okay before eating, even though they want the food. They'll stay at my side even when they see a squirrel they want to chase. If, for some reason, I wanted to train them to ignore a tennis ball, they could learn to do that too. And if a dog can manage that much self-control, surely a grown human can do the same.

      Delete
    11. Won't somebody think of the children?

      Delete
    12. I'm pretty disappointed that nobody approved my comment to you in that thread saying you should have used a woman's reaction to flowers as a better analogy except that the flowers are the women and the women are the men, and that it would have been a real "Who's on first" situation, except the first base undertones could require some clarification.

      I just caught up on everything in that thread, and her treatment of her dog either means that she is a legitimate crazy person, or more likely a blatant liar.

      Good work today, Raysism. This has been hilarious.

      Delete
    13. I just can't believe they've somehow gained a reputation as humorless, self-serious, lonely cat-women. Especially after reading that exchange.

      Delete
  9. I made the mistake of clicking over to the Jez crosspost. I made another mistake by reading the comments.

    I just wanted to let you guys know that regardless of what a women is wearing, it is not appropriate to look at their butts. Ever. It means you are a creepy human being who should probably be locked up. If you find them to be sexually attractive based on your glance in any way whatsoever, that means that you have absolutely no regard for their status as an equal and important member of society.

    That was a great reminder of why I very rarely leave Deadspin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great work, Raysism. No trolling at all.

      I love looking at woman's asses. Really, I stare. But I don't stare if I know she knows I'm staring.

      Delete
  10. Seems like this place is getting more run than Deadspin these days. Also, it ain't easy being green. And on heroin, which I am ALL the time. You try fucking a pig every day. Yeah, some of you know what I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Trust me. I know what you mean.

    You're talking about fucking a cop, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That last comment was directed at Kermit The Balog, but I can't seem to do anything right, just like my father said.

      Delete
  12. CEASE AND ASSIST?

    What is this, Weekend at Bernie's?!?!???!!111!

    ReplyDelete
  13. So I just read many of the comments in the Jezebel cross-post, which I never do, and my head is spinning. I don't know where to begin.

    How can anyone stand that shit? I guess there could be some fun to the shit-stirring Raysism and a few others like to do, but Jesus. It's so.....grueling.

    Those people are horrible. It's just tl;dr after tl;dr of ass-kissers trying to "out-sensitive" each other, false comparisons, and deliberate misinterpretations of comments to create fake outrage. And all these little #pewpews or whatever the fuck they are, "hearteds", and .gifs are excruciating. Why can't people talk on the Internet without stupid little codes that remind us that they're talking on the Internet? Besides +1s, of course, which are a sensibly concise way of expressing agreement or appreciation.

    Someone over there, probably starred, posted a pic of a coupon for "One Free Internet", as if to say, YOU WIN THE INTERNETZ!1!! And this is embraced? Even worse, they did it because the person they were replying to had said "whoa, slow down Poindexter" or something to that effect, and that was apparently the funniest thing ever typed on the internetz, even though I might sarcastically say the same thing in realie life semi-regularly without thinking anything of it, let alone its brilliance.

    I could go on about the shit parade I saw over there forever, and I suspect Gawker is the same. I've never been more secure in my decision to only comment on DS. Sweet Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That may be the most cogent thing you've ever written. +1

      Delete
    2. I think you just defined "backhanded compliment" for those who needed it, but thanks.

      /look kids- Big Ben, Parliament!

      Delete
    3. FUCK THAT SHIT! I DEFINED THE BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT!

      Delete
    4. To me, the most amazing thing is that they spend that much time on the internet in general, and a Gawker media site specifically, and have absolutely zero sense of irony or humor. You can get them to walk into any two-bit joke or troll attempt, no matter how much you flag it as obvious irony/hyperbole/absurdity.

      Also, they get so caught up arguing and patting the alpha-fems on the back, they forget what they're really arguing about. I mean, there were posts on my thread that essentially said, "How dare you call me a tennis ball!"

      Delete
    5. They are just exhausting people. Reading one thread of comments and trying to make sense of their tangents is utterly exhausting. I made it through like 3 non-Raysism comments before I just scrolled down to find his.

      I think, that they think, that they are trying out for something (a writing job, TV show on MSNBC, COTY) something, with each comment. Every comment just feeds the in-progress avalanche of absurdity.

      Delete
  14. So, that Jezebel stuff was funny today. But, who wants to talk burritos? Specifically, what is the most overrated burrito? I nominate this one - I mean, it looks like it originally comes from Texas, but it seems to have gone ... I don't know ... corporate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was much funnier when I linked "this one" to an image of a Texas Burrito, and when the Urban Dictionary link to "Texas Burrito" went to the google archived entry.

      Delete
  15. Raysism, welcome to my world. You're one of us.

    ReplyDelete