Monday, March 5, 2012

MKM Open Thread (Mar 5, 2012)

Welcome to your MKM Blog open thread for March 5, 2012, did you remember to chain up your pit bull last night?  I hope so, because if you didn't, it looks like someone randomly dumped like two dozen chained up pit bulls in your backyard.

Happy Monday, everyone.  I wanted to let you know about a few new features we'll be unveiling this week, if we get around to it.  First, we'll finally have a few of those long-promised guest pieces from your favorite Deadspin commenters (your favorite Deadspin commenter is IMG, right?).  Second, we are going to be introducing a new feature that will have a tournament of commenters feel.  I won't reveal all the details, mostly because I haven't given them a ton of thought yet, but it will allow you guys to vote on your favorite comments of the day with the winners advancing to compete against each other, and the big winner getting the glorious prize of our eternal jealousy and respect and the ability to make their own commemorative t-shirt on Zazzle.com to celebrate their achievement.  Yes, I know stuff like this has been done before, but never like this:  totally fixed!

Anyway, stay tuned.  And here's a Youtube clip to get you started.


41 comments:

  1. When you see me comment this week that "Sandusky took Phintastic's star and gave it to Whitlock!!!1!1!", do not believe the rumors that Bevraj paid me off to throw a tournament game.

    I just happen to find that image humorous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll bet Whitlock ate it because it totally reminded him of Carl's Jr.!1!!

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Uh, someone with radically different taste in "humor" than me?

      Delete
    2. Ummm...Not 1, Not 2, Not 3's dad?

      Delete
    3. I think he's some sort of Gizmodo editor, based on his comment history, and his being asked questions about stars over there.

      Delete
    4. I don't mean to take a shot at Not 1, Not 2, Not 3 (though that's not a joke at all, come on), but Tony Kaye appears to have the ability to star/destar but does not write any posts. Gizmodo's comment ninja? I'm not sure.

      While we're on the subject, some weird starrings around here lately.

      Delete
    5. Well, at least Gamboa doesn't have to worry about that pesky "Worst Star Ever" tag any longer.

      Delete
    6. I Like Cheap BeerMarch 5, 2012 at 12:47 PM

      Come to think of it, he once unstarred me solely to restar me for a comment that he liked. Guess he couldn't just "+1" like everyone else

      Delete
    7. Universal Enveloping AlgebraMarch 5, 2012 at 1:28 PM

      Tony Kaye is also the name of the guy who directed American History X, AND the name of the on-again, off-again keyboard player for Yes. So Tony Kaye, the commenter is now extra-sucky by comparison.

      Delete
    8. The Amazing SneijdermanMarch 5, 2012 at 2:05 PM

      So much for that...

      Delete
  3. Newell_mac ruined Wake Up Deadspin!1!!11?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Too dumb for Deadspin (or anywhere). Re: hockey goalie post

    A: 13 on 46
    Q: What is Jerry Sandusky in 1990?!?!??!

    Also, why the fuck did the captchas get so hard to read? They used to be nice and easy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. IMG, for this "tournament" thingy, as a Duke alum, I get overseeded by 4 spots, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All I'M saying is, there better be fucking flower floats.

      Delete
  6. http://deadspin.com/5890566/bountygate-gives-roger-goodell-another-chance-to-show-you-what-a-big-dick-he-has?comment=47641944#comments

    If you enjoy having your head explode, read his comment history.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just curious if "snowburnt" got this joke yet.

    http://deadspin.com/5890416/the-cleveland-cavaliers-really-really-do-not-want-to-be-associated-with-rush-limbaugh-anymore?comment=47632095#comments

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His reply is even funnier when you realize that Limbaugh did OXYcontin and is a moran!!1!!1

      Delete
  8. Telecomic/Smoak wants answers, dammit!

    http://deadspin.com/youwatchedtelevisiononce/forum?comment=47647984

    ReplyDelete
  9. http://deadspin.com/5890575/giants-and-diamondbacks-wait-out-41+minute-bee-delay?comment=47646334#comments

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy Who Had Sex With A Stop SignMarch 5, 2012 at 5:21 PM

      And that's the edited version. Sweet heavens.

      Delete
  10. Lionel Osbourne, Esq.March 5, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    Oh, boy, those Gawker commenters sure are touchy!

    http://gawker.com/5890655/do-not-go-to-a-second+tier-law-school-under-any-circumstances?comment=47649823#comments

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brospeh Stalin (Ha, get it?!)March 5, 2012 at 5:46 PM

      Wow, that Broseph guy is a douche. (Somehow, that's not so shocking.) Good to see some people over there actually got that you were, you know, making a joke.

      Delete
    2. What a gaping twat.

      Delete
    3. Honestly, guys like him are why I refuse to read anything on Gawker.com, including posts about Olivia Munn getting saucy.

      Delete
    4. Cheap Beer, like I said, the guy actually gave me a -1 for a Derek Fisher joke I made a few weeks ago: http://deadspin.com/5884221/jeremy-lin-is-eating-derek-fisher-alive?comment=46899023#comments

      Granted, what I said wasn't that funny, but something tells me he wasn't judging the quip on its merits (or lack thereof), but rather the anti-LA bias.

      And yes, Uwe, he IS a gaping twat.

      Delete
    5. Say what you want about Broseph Gordon-Levitt, but he's got the market cornered on geographical weather jokes.


      Hilarious

      Gut Busting

      Delete
    6. That's what I mean, BH. Look, I know I'm not the funniest guy on Deadspin (not by a long shot), but to get called out by a guy who posts such unfunny shit like that is absolutely brutal. And he calls himself "Broseph." That whole "Let's shoehorn 'Bro' into every name" meme stopped being hilarious three years ago! (That is, if it was even funny in the first place.)

      Oh, and the LA avatar is just the icing on the smug cake. What a self-serious prick.

      Delete
    7. I Like Cheap BeerMarch 5, 2012 at 6:25 PM

      Lionel, I get your frustration. I had my first +1 worth comment in forever last week and lobsr shit all over it. Granted, that's not the same as what BroLA pulled, but it's irritating all the same.
      I wouldn't worry too much, those who matter know your stuff is good.

      Delete
    8. SHUT UP, LIBRONEL BROSBROURNE!

      Delete
    9. Guy Who Disagrees About Bro, But Loves Lionel RegardelssMarch 5, 2012 at 6:34 PM

      Whatever you say, Brona Lisa

      Delete
    10. Prophet Broseph SmithMarch 6, 2012 at 12:12 AM

      I have received a revelation from our Heavenly Father that BGL is an unfunny asswipe.

      Delete
    11. Did you guys get my texts?

      Delete
    12. I don't know anything about this Gordon-Levitt guy cornholing jokes, I just heard he was horsing around.

      Delete
  11. This week is the one year anniversary of MBA's daily rundowns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Virginal, Creepy Shut-InMarch 5, 2012 at 6:21 PM

      Yes.

      Delete
  12. http://deadspin.com/5890575/giants-and-diamondbacks-wait-out-41+minute-bee-delay


    Yet another perfectly acceptable instance of people making different jokes on the same topics just moments away from each other. I liked all four of these.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely was about to make my own Bea Arthur joke, saw it had already ably been taken care of, twice, and scrolled the page upward in shame. Should have started a Bea Arthur pyramid.

      Should have started a Bea Arthur pyramid.

      -A guy who says sentences that are really, really weird out of context, and even in context.

      Delete
    2. What I loved is that we had the same tie-in, but such completely different takes on it.

      Delete
  13. Welcome, friend!

    http://deadspin.com/5890566/bountygate-gives-roger-goodell-another-chance-to-show-you-what-a-big-dick-he-has?comment=47641944#comments

    ReplyDelete