Saturday, August 11, 2012

MKMOT (August 11-12, 2012)

Weekends! Tombstones and tumbleweeds! What a time to debut our new feature, MKMUB Classics!

This is where I copy and paste a post from the past with hopes that it will somehow foster more pageviews and comments than it did the first time around or that one of my brilliant original write-ups would!

Apparently IMG used to write stuff on here that was more than just a senseless preamble to the two magic words. Thank heavens we got rid of that guy, there's no need for that kind of stuff around here. Except for today's MKMUB classic, where it will serve as an addendum to a senseless preamble to the two magic words. I'll paste it, add some tuneage, and then...

It's been a while since we've one a Top Ten list around here, not that many have noticed. But I've got some beer and free time, so you know, shit happens.

Here are your ... Top Ten Deadspin Rapper Names:

10. Sponsored by MC Eiht
9. dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac-10
8. Ice-TDK
7. Stev DMC
6. Disco Choo Tang Clan
5. Delonte Interrupted Tha Funky Homosapien
4. Uwedacris
3. Chris Hanson's DM Axe
2. Lieutenant Winsloc
1. Eminemkayem

 Here is the link to the original post, so you all can see the comments. Add your own now. It's open.


  1. Guy Who thought yesterday was funAugust 11, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    Come on, is everyone hung over this morning? Let's get this started. Here are some topics:

    Cheese-mac is a spinless turd who has now been forced by his Deadspin overlords to post as "anonymous"

    Despite his assurances to the contrary, Gamboa is behind most of the Guy Who accounts, constructive or otherwise. I mean, seriously, who hits refresh that often, admits to "some" Guy Who accounts, but backs away from the others? (Am I Gamboa too? Who knows.)

    IMG has a split personality disorder, using Marv and CJ to alternately praise and dismiss himself in the hopes that we will all jump in to his defense.

    BellweatherJohnson and BrettFavre's Inches (or whatever he calls himself these days) are political tools of the establishment.

    Now ... go!

    1. Speaking of yesterday....

      I only came here to point out that it seems kind of silly to complain about a comment getting removed as though that's not exactly what would have happened to that comment at any point in Deadspin's history of having comments.

      80 percent of the comments now would have been removed. Removing one because someone is trying to have fun is fucking ridiculous. That was a million times less annoying than the terribleness that goes on in the comments now. If the absolutely horridly named "Faeries" (so fucking lame) let the Yahoo and TMZ comments sit there the way they do, it's more offensive to see one removed because it had the audacity to use another commenters name. Give me a fucking break.

    2. FYI:

      I was not anonymous. Nor did I move RMJ's comment. I don't know if I would have either, because I did not see it, but if it was a grab assy reference to some other commenter I probably would have found it annoying, as my stance on that kind of stuff has been pretty clear.

      I will say this, though: I am bummed by what is going on in the comments just like everyone else, but I would like to see the all-stars, and RMJ is hands down the top of the top in my opinion, trying to keep the high bar in spirit, even if it's not physically there anymore.

      Because some asshole is posting nonsense does not, to me, seem like a reason I would voluntarily lower my own bar. One has nothing to do with the other.

      Also, who fucking cares what the faeries are called? Do you even get that it's a joke? That it's a play on the fact that the ninjas are now supposed to encourage discussion? Give me a fucking break, Guy Hu.


    3. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 11, 2012 at 4:50 PM

      It said "h/t uwebollocks" at the end of a joke. Odd that it got the ax.

    4. Also, I should add that editors and faeries can't delete comments anyway, even if they were so inclined. So, I don't know what happened there.

    5. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 11, 2012 at 5:12 PM

      Then what do they do?

    6. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 11, 2012 at 5:27 PM

      The ninjas would move comments, warn people, stuff like that. Do the faeries do that? I barely read through the comments anymore. Do people get banned or moved?

    7. There have been some truly bad comments that were somehow made to disappear. So someone has the ability to make comments go away.

    8. I think Kinja does some of that on its own.

    9. In the spirit of transparency I got up at 2:30am to watch the Texans. I know, I know - I'm an idiot - but my point is that I am cranky. So take this with a grain of salt.

      But, come on Guy Who. This is crap. Let me go in order:

      1) As far as I can tell, Sean has never come here and said anything without using either his real name or his acknowledged handle. Given that he's said some controversial things, there is no reason to think he would suddenly switch to anonymous comments. I have no idea who "anonymous" was yesterday, but I am certain it wasn't him.

      2) There is no way that Gamboa is the shitty, piss-on-everyone Guy Who. Again, I don't know who gets their thrills by attacking me (and others), but whoever it is has a rudimentary sense of logic and humor. Gamboa is roughly 10,000 orders of magnitude ahead of him (them?) on both dimensions.

      3) I have no idea who CJ or Marv are, but knowing a tiny bit about IMG's schedule, I am certain that he is not either of them.

      4) As soon as you can prove that you contribute 10% of the value that FavreAndInches does to Deadspin, you can complain.

      Again - sorry all for the rant, but this stuff is absolutely absurd.

    10. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 11, 2012 at 8:48 PM

      Yeah, Gamboa isn't any of the nasty Guy Who's. I think those are dozens of people probably...Sort of like MKMUB's own burner accounts!

    11. @sean mac

      What do YOU mean, what do you mean what do they do?

    12. @kirk

      What do YOU mean, what do you mean, what do you mean what do they do?

    13. @kevin


    14. The faeries/editors have tools, as does Kinja, to grade comments and commenters alike. But they don't ban anymore. Only the absolute worst of the worst and spam, like the Flapship nonsense, is removed at this point and it is not in the editors or faeries bag o tricks to do that. Seriously, we literally notified whomever we are supposed to notify about someone who said "Nigger" in the least ironic way possible and they were basically like "ehhh....lets let it play out for a bit."

      This is how it goes on all of the sites, I gather.

      Long story short, not much, if anything gets deleted anymore, so I don't know what happened.

    15. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 12, 2012 at 12:08 AM

      Huh. So it's like that? Man thats just depressing.

    16. It is what you make of it. That's all I meant by the keeping your own high bar in spirit thing. It seems to come in waves, really. Some days are really good, others much, much worse. I think a lot has to do with the enormous traffic the site has done during the Olympics, so we are getting a lot of absolute drive by lunatics who don't know Deadspin from Adam. It's happened before and will happen again.

      It'll die down some, and then pick up again with whatever crazy NFL story grips us all, but--and good lord did I fail miserably at this today--if you just keep plugging along and doing what you've always done and make jokes and ignore the rest, maybe more people catch on as they stick around.

    17. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 12, 2012 at 12:53 AM

      I try to read through the comments now and again and it's just hard, especially when I see tons of people ripping on each other with no worries about discipline and the Yahoo type shit...and I just get annoyed and bail. I commented for the first time in three weeks the other day and it just felt weird. It's too bad, it used to be so fun. TDK said it very well down thread.

  2. I've been looking at the comment sections of the posts for today and it does appear that Kinja is evolving. The only burner comments that aren't relegated to the end of the line are those that have been replied to by a non-burner account. A burner that receives a reply from another burner gets no boost in its ranking. If enough regulars comment on a post then the burners all end up falling down the abyss. Ergo, if enough regulars start coming back now that football 'tis upon us, and if the regular commenters ignore the burners, then they are going to end up in Kinja's equivalent of the pink seats.

  3. Whiny, little bitches. You do not own the internet, and you do not own Deadspin. Get over shit, for fuck's sake.

  4. I don't wanna get bogged down in the yelling and shouting and masturbating hand gestures, but would like to add two cents.

    The comment section on Deadspin is much worse than it used to be. It's less funny. It's harder to navigate. It's polluted with a bunch of garbage.

    I feel that after giving it a few years (that's how long it's been, right?) to sort of get over the initial THIS SUCKS feeling, I'm forced to accept that my final impression of Kinja is "this really super sucks."

    I'm just some guy who likes to make dick jokes about sports idiots. I don't claim, nor should any commenters claim, to have any authority over what should or shouldn't be done with the Deadspin comments section -- and it's disheartening to hear that the DS writers, faeraries, and even editor don't have any say either -- but I do have a right to an opinion. It sucks (Kinja sucks, not my opinion. My opinion is mostly genius.)

    Deadspin had something that didn't exist anywhere else -- a well-managed, well-groomed commentariat full of very funny, dedicated commenters. The commentariat was a reflection of two things: funny, dedicated editors and writers, and comment ninjas who made participation as terrifying as it was exhilarating. By ridding the site of the ninjas and basically telling the commentariat "our writers and editors are still funny and smart, but you no longer have to be," Gawker essentially packed the basement full of oily rags and newspapers and tossed in a lit match.

    What was once a unique place on the Internet for sports nerds pretending to be comedy writers, is now just a place where people write a bunch of bullshit, just like everywhere else on the internet. The only difference between the DS comments and every other comment section on the Internet is that Kinja requires a shitload of clicking. Some of the better commenters are still around doing their thing and that's awesome, but my guess is that they will eventually fade away and there won't be any trace of what used to be.

    All of this is to say: it's sad to see something that was awesome that everyone liked be replaced with something that is total ass and no one likes. And I'm beginning to accept that it isn't going to change.

    1. Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree, TDK.

      *What the hell

    2. I mean, yes. You are right, as always, TDK. The difference between the Deadspin comment section and the other comment sections on the net webs is that we still at least have a critical mass of solid commenters out there. However, they are bogged down with the, shall we say, impurities in the new system. What we need is some sort of commenter enrichment system, that would spin the commenters around at a high rate of speed and isolate the most valuable and unique commentary. I propose a system of underground centrifuges and

      [is bombed by Israel]

    3. True, there is still a good core of commenters remaining, but I can't shake the feeling that, without changes to the current system, they'll eventually give up trying to cling to something that used to exist while being overrun by idiocy. There's just no incentive to come up with clever, witty material if it's being thrown in amongst a sea of crap.

      [hugs stuffed unicorn]
      [cries into pillow]

    4. Fear not! There are gems, you just have to find them.

  5. Hey you. Up there. No, not you. You. ALL THE WAY up there. Yeah, you.

    Right now I'm a Guy Who Is Calling You A Fucking Idiot.

  6. Mrs. Marvin Thomas ConstrictorAugust 12, 2012 at 7:48 AM

    To the bullies who keep harassing my son:

    Now my son has explained it to me several times, and I still don't understand what a Who Guy does, but I can tell you that Francis (his God-given name, "Gamboa" is a nickname his father's parole officer gave him and I won't use it) is VERY upset about whoever has been saying nasty things about him on this blog. (Yes Francis I know you call it a "balog" but that's not the right word, even your dum-dum mom knows that. I am on facebook, after all! And it's your turn in Words With Friends, so go already.)

    I haven't seen my boy so upset and in tears since the time I tried to get him a Cabbage Patch doll for his birthday but they were all sold out. Those things were so popular then! Oh and he cried for days. I mean it! I had to take him to the doctor, who said what he really needed was a good wallop on the fanny. Oh, it broke my heart to fill that prescription.

    My son may not have told you fellows this, but he is a very sensitive soul, and deserves to be treated tenderly. So please, please stop being such meanies!

    1. You realize I'm the one being accused of being the "meanie", right?

      This is embarrassing. Couldn't you just have sent me one of those private note thingies on that Tweeter account that I don't have? Whatever. Just hurry up and sew my jammies and make me a fucking sammich. Thanksies!

    2. @ Gamboa's mom

      Yo, you single? Even if you're not, you want some of a real man? You can get some.

    3. You can call me, Al.

  7. Guy Who likes smack talk but perhaps with a little less random angerAugust 12, 2012 at 1:12 PM

    I was told this is the place for random insults and sexual passes at Gamboa's mom.

    In that case, did you know that:

    * IronMike's obsession with boxing comes from being beaten nearly to death by three of his sister's grade school friends when he was at the tender age of 24? He studied, learned and improved - and now there are 4 9-year old girls who are in desperate need of new kidneys (O-, AB-, B+, and A+)

    * Raysism only learned to run fast because the bouncer at the bar where he gets in fights after making inappropriate passes at people way out of his league (like, you know, Eddie Murray Sparkles) got a Segway?

    * DubaiAtNight actually lives in Flint Michigan, has a net worth of 3 cans of Pringles and a used condom, and is the real-life role model for DadBoner?

    * It took 3 years for Bronze Hammer to legally change his name from Jello Penis, esquire?

    * Sean only joined Deadspin because that is where he started his career, and he just couldn't forget where he came from?

    1. Sorry to disappoint you, but I haven't improved that much. The commenter responsible for those little girls needing kidneys is, of course, UweBollocks.

    2. Guy Who likes smack talk but perhaps with a little less random angerAugust 12, 2012 at 1:57 PM

      Why would a long-forgotten skeleton in a basement need a new kidney?

      Also, I think you are too humble. I bet you could take a small pack of 9-year olds (assuming, of course, that you were armed with brass knuckles, a 9mm in your ankle holster, and predator drone support and that they were paraplegic).

    3. Small correction: It took me three years to change my name to Jello Penis, esq., because the University of Phoenix does not offer a fast-track JD program. Thank you and good day

    4. Guy Who likes smack talk but perhaps with a little less random angerAugust 12, 2012 at 2:15 PM

      You never heard about the "4 STDs for 1 JD" exchange program at the University of Phoenix? Poor guy - just imagine what you and society could have done with all your wasted years of syphilis-induced madness...

    5. Damnit "Guy Who" - I told you that in confidence! And, it was Lay's. I would never buy that Pringles crap ... fabricated potato chips [spits on ground in exaggerated motion].

      As for used condoms, well now you are showing your ignorance. I've been pretty clear that I have 3 kids running amok here - do you think I have any idea how a condom works?

    6. Guy Who likes smack talk but perhaps with a little less random angerAugust 12, 2012 at 2:33 PM

      My apologies, Dubai. Tell you what, I'll make it up to you. Let me buy you a few drinks down at the Jumeriah Chile's and we'll figure out how to make your latest Roadhouse adaptation go viral. Bring Cyrus - sorry, I meant Dave - along too ....

  8. @Kinjatechs

    Your latest 'improvement' where the scrolling sidebar on the right positions itself at whatever story you select with a 'NEWER STORIES...' link at the top that you have to actually click on if you want to see the new stories must be a bug. Surely you did not intend to create something that requires viewers to make unnecessary c.........


  9. Because some have asked, I'll be very clear - I was "Guy Who likes smack talk but perhaps with a little less random anger" above. It was my attempt to reintroduce some levity into this god-forsaken balog of bile-filled insults and anger.

    I toyed with "Guy Who" monikers a long time ago, but saw too late how it evolved to the shitty attacks on Gamboa and [cough] others that we've seen here. So, I thought "maybe if we bring it back, but with slightly less anger, all will be good."

    But, I've had a few folks worry that I might be either exposing people (Cyrus is not named Dave) or setting a bad precedent.

    Anyway, if IMG, Raysism, BH, Sean, or that other idiot were offended, then ... [what's the phrase?] ... [no, not that] ... [no] ... [YES] ... [censored]