Wednesday, August 15, 2012

MKMOT (August 15, 2012)

So, a lot of imaginary people have said to me, "Marv, I've heard a little bit about this balog you do. What is it about?" "Nothing." I tell them. It has no direction. I can rant about anything or nothing!

Today, music! Namely, this monstrosity. I refuse to post it as today's official MKMOT video, because it's an absolute disgrace. Now, I'm no music critic, and I haven't even read what any have said about this particular "effort", but I don't need to. It's sappy, trite, lazy, and downright embarrassing from a band who seems to have forgotten that they once had a legacy to uphold. Who greenlit this? NONE of the members stood up and said "I'm rich, famous, generally respected, and too good to sing/play/drum on this turd of a track."? Not only that, they proceed to go ahead and push it as a lead single for an upcoming album? I can't imagine a single fan of this band hearing the first note of this musical detritus at a concert and responding with any sort of excitement. Guys, I've never been a huge fan or anything, but you've definitely put out some great tunes over the years, and I can rarely recall a more vivid example of musical rock bottom than this new single represents. Even for artists who are not in my particular sweet spot, I've always respected those who created a meaningful and lasting musical legacy. These guys have come under a bit of fire for not staying true to theirs in the past, and that criticism has never made more sense than it does right now. Instead of putting out a song worthy of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, in which they arguably have a spot in the future, they put out this shit that sounds like it should be played to a hotel ballroom full of corporate sponsors at a private screening of the rom-com it serves as the theme for, where Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd play two divorcees who discover love again after meeting at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Have some fucking standards, you "legends" out there. Shameful. Just shameful.

These imaginary people and their queries! Music!! It's open!!!


  1. Well said, Marv. I feel the same way about most of Green Day's new (relatively speaking) stuff. However, Dookie was a staple of my childhood, so I just like to pretend songs like this never happened and remember the young lunatics at the insane aslyum singing Basket Case instead.

    Anyway, last night I found myself rereading this old MBA post about commenting and found myself getting extremely nostalgic. If nostalgia appeals to you, it's worth revisiting.

    1. Man, that guy had way too much time on his hands.

      Good find. Thanks.

    2. Interestingly, the bit about Deadspin's commentariat not being catty, sniping, elitist jerks has gotten less true as the commenting approval process has been removed. In other words, the only people who could ever have accused Deadspin's commenters of being hostile elitists are now writing comments like "fail" and "-1" and "I see what you did there".

      Funny how that happens.

    3. Interestingly, the bit about Deadspin's commentariat not being catty, sniping, elitist jerks has gotten less true as the commenting approval process has been removed.

      Of course. The pinkos who couldn't get approved are now taking it out on the site. It's not as if the commentariat suddenly turned on each other, it's not like you're seeing people like Sharting or IMG or pretty much any of the pre-Kinja regulars, it's burners.

    4. Yep, that's exactly my point. We weren't snotty pricks when there actually was a hierarchy, but now that it's gone, it would be totally fair for a new commenter to assume that Deadspin is full of catty, sniping elitists. And the offending assholes are likely the very people who labeled it so in the first place.

    5. This comment was literally made within seconds of Shitehawk's reply here.

      I don't think that NutHuggerShorts realizes that by making that comment, he is now a Deadspin commenter too.

    6. Now that I re-read your comment, I see that I didn't grasp it the right way at first. I thought you were saying that we devolved ourselves or something. Yeah, the no-approval thing has really opened it up to become a Yahoo/Youtube world over there. It sucks when i actually do skim through some comments to see so many that would have been moved in the bygone days. Oh well, no point in complaining about it anymore, I suppose.

  2. Mr. Skeevy, please tell us where you stand on on the issue of "Jesus of Suburbia." I, for one, like it far more than some of their earlier, simplistic songs, but I can understand how others would think it was overwrought grandiose nonsense.

    Agreed, "Oh Love" is the 80 IQ version of their better work.

    1. Not really a fan. Not a fan of "American Idiot", either. Hell, I'm not even really a fan of theirs, although I love the tune I linked and like a few others as well. The point is that I had respect for them, and this has greatly tarnished it.

      But not liking a song of theirs has never risen to the point of actually offending me until now. Which I'm sure they're losing sleep over.

    2. What did you say about rock bottom, again? See, rather than just review the song, I chose to embody it!

    3. So, your parents founded Rolling Stone, right?

    4. Green Day were good up through "Warning", and they've been pretty terrible ever since. And goddamn is "Waiting" a great pop song.

  3. Wow, thanks to you posting this, it just dawned on me that Dookie came out 18 years ago. 18 years! If a child had been born when Dookie came out, he'd be old enough to vote for Mitt Romney. Jesus.

    - Calista Flockhart, after her doctor asked about her last bowel movement!!1!

    1. I remember listening to Kerplunk when I was in 6th grade.

      Billie Joe Armstrong's son graduates from high school next year.

  4. I swear to god, if that "some great tunes" link was Good Riddance (Time of Your Life), I was going to burn this mothefucker down.

    I've generally disliked Green Day from day one. They write a good pop tune I guess, but they really do nothing for me. Dead Kennedys, Flipper, Op Ivy; all better Bay Area punk bands than Green Day ever was.

    Oh, after all the quaking Billie Joe Armstrong has done over they years railing against the corporatization and subsequent disillusionment of the Amarican youth... ... ...he signs up to do The Voice.

    Fuck that guy.

    1. @BWJ

      Oh, give me some credit. "Hitchin' a Ride" is great. "Time of Your Life" literally might crack the top 25 of my most hated songs of all time. And that's an extremely tough list to crack.

    2. The 25 Songs That Make Me Wish For More Hearing Loss:

      (in no particular order)

      Queensryche - Silent Lucidity
      REM - Losing My Religion
      Paula Abdul - Promise Of A New Day
      Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
      U2 - With Or Without You
      ZZ Top - Legs
      Green Day - Time of Your Life
      Nickelback - Remind Me
      Van Halen - And the Cradle Will Rock
      Ted Nugent - Free-For-All
      Bette Midler - Wind Beneath My Wings
      Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
      Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
      Mariah Carey - Someday
      The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
      Aerosmith - Back In The Saddle
      Aerosmith - Same Old Song And Dance
      CCR - Centerfield
      Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra
      Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
      Lynyrd Skynyrd - That Smell
      The Eagles - Take It Easy
      Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is A Place On Earth
      Mr. Mister - Broken Wings

    3. Fuck yes on REM (as previously noted), BEP, Green Day, Nickelback, Celine, Skynyrd. Hell nah on U2, Beach Boys, Bee Gees. Literally have never (knowingly) heard the VH, Nugent, Aerosmith songs, which I'm sure I would not enjoy. The Paula/Gwen/Mariah/Belinda stuff- fluff, but not particularly offensive. Finally, pretty sure "Centerfield" is a Fogarty solo project.

      Good effort. I could make a hell of a list myself if I wasn't too lazy. Too lazy to, say, walk 500 miles. Even in no rain.

    4. GOOD VIBRATIONS IS FUCKING PHENOMENAL! I also like With Or Without You, and I like REM but Losing My Religion isn't one I care for. Also, CCR didn't sing Center Field. It was just Fogerty. Huge difference.

      I pretty much hate everything else mentioned. And I love that KISS got their own entry without any song example. They are just the worst.

    5. I can't believe I fucked up the CCR / Fogerty thing [hangs head in shame.]

      Quite honestly, With Or Without You may be #2 on my list were I to rank them. If I'm on a roof when I hear that song come on the radio, I will drop what I'm doing to run down the ladder and change it. I'm not judging anyone for liking it, but I just can't fucking stand it.

      I'm pretty sure my disdain for The Beach Boys comes from my parents listening to them when I was a yoot.


    7. Beach Boys - Good Vibrations: Tolerable.
      Marky Mark - Good Vibrations: Stab myself in the eardrum.

    8. Universal Enveloping AlgebraAugust 15, 2012 at 8:22 PM

      Silent Lucidity? More like Silent Luboringty!

      But really, I love that whole album.

  5. [Hears track playing]
    [Starts bobbing head]

    Fuck it...

    I used to catch thrills from "Submit"
    Now trolls call us idiots.
    But Nick still gets his commenting clicks.
    And I'm trying to disregard that sinkin' feeling
    that sponsor billing
    will drive more burner fill-ins.
    Kinja gets no fucking tips.
    Stop sayin' "Wait it out," cause we don't wonder
    "Will they change it back for us?"
    The thrill is gone, we're all contrite.
    Not looking to fight or
    stir shit tonight.
    Kinja is full of minus
    ones, it's hard to think it's, real.
    I fuckin' thought this would be no big deal.
    I look back on Starville with envy.
    It's empty.
    Denton's the god damn enemy.

    /drops mic

  6. I love that Sandusky thread. +1 to everybody.

  7. Holy shit, were live chats ever more fun pre-Kinja. Unless I'm missing something, I can only see the last several minutes of comments, even with Blue Tunic.

    1. It's the only part of Kinja that is an improvement. Also, RMJ=H is killing it.

    2. How is it an improvement? I can't see everything chronologically.

    3. I Like Cheap Beer is right (not on the second part)- Live Chats are much improved in the Kinja format.

    4. Yeah, I don't know that I agree. I dislike having to switch back and forth between Answered and Unanswered. If they were all together, and the font/spacing didn't take up like 25 lines per question, it'd be far more readable. And while the Answered questions are in chronological order, the Unanswered questions are in reverse chronological order, meaning that in addition to flipping back and forth and constantly reloading, I also have to scroll up and down like dozens of comments. Really a pain in the ass.

      As for what you're seeing, Gamboa, I don't know. The Unanswered questions are the ones that show most recent first, and they are typically tons of those, so when I scroll down to the bottom, I just click "next page". Blue Tunic may not allow you to see that properly.

    5. Honestly, I prefer it. I don't have to hunt around to find the questions that got a response, and I can read those without necessarily being forced to read all 9,000 drearily inevitable "I'll suck anything you want, baby!!1!" questions from idiots.

      And I honestly don't care at all whether either answered or unanswered questions are listed chronologically. Do the answers form some kind of serial story?

    6. For me, having comments ordered chronologically makes it easier to read live since I'm probably updating it, scrolling down to where I left off, and reading the new comments. That's one of the problems of Kinja (but not necessarily the live chats) - it's so damn hard to keep up with new stuff.

      The chronology issue here is a). It's not uniform between the two views and b). Like you say, there are 9,000 questions from idiots that gum up the good stuff. That, too, of course, is an issue not relegated to live chats only. I don't think "Answered Questions" solves it, though, because many of the best jokes go overlooked by more serious (read: boring) guests.

    7. Meow!

      I have always preferred, and still do, to read all comments chronologically. The "next page" button is not working for me, so I'm only seeing about 10-15 minutes worth of comments, which means I'm missing a lot of good stuff if previous live chats are any indication.

    8. Oh man, that really wasn't supposed to come off hostile, more as a joke.

    9. What? Oh, that?

      I was just "meow"ing because Raysism trotted by in his marathon shorts. Carry on.

    10. They match my shoes!

  8. I realize I didn't fully explain myself there.

    I enjoy being able to look at the answered question versus the unanswered question view.

    And, those two panes are arranged chronologically, like the old DS comment section.

  9. The Amazing SneijdermanAugust 15, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    After this, it's not even frustration or anger anymore. It's more putting my hands up in the air, shrugging, and just continuing to throw comments out there. I guess that's better than just leaving, but still.

    1. I was just helpfully pointing out that the earlier story had a lot of relevance to your comment, since both were about Scrabble. I didn't think a lot of people would make that connection, because it's kind of tenuous. I mean, "tiles" and "letters" and "extra Zs"? You really need to spell that sort of thing out.

      Spell! Did you see what I did there? In Scrabble, you use "tiles" to "spell" words, some of which have the letter "Z" in them.

    2. Or, you know, you could dismiss him, ya victim.

    3. The Amazing SneijdermanAugust 15, 2012 at 6:38 PM

      I will. I just wanted to see if anyone would reply to him. I guess that just makes it worse, though. My bad.

  10. I can't decide what I liked more about today's comments: all the tips or all the writers.

  11. @IMG:

    Sorry for the dismissal. I liked the reply but have been dismissing any reply that includes complaining about the comment section (or even acknowledging the decrease in quality)...I don't think it helps.

    I mean no offense.

    1. No worries. I was not complaining for what's it worth. Just reminiscing.

    2. Yup...that's the way I took it. It just hurts too much to reminisce, the wound is still too fresh.

    3. And sorry, I didn't mean to imply you were complaining. That came out wrong.