Tuesday, September 25, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 14 (September 25, 2012)

I get a lot of crap for how much I HATE this band, but no good HATEr will be deterred by scorn from the masses of wrong. For whatever reason, America loves it some good ol' Southern Rock, and I absolutely loathe the entire genre. In fact, choosing a single song for this entry was not unlike deciding which of my pubic lice to eliminate first (I chose Captain Thorax, for the record), only a more productive use of my time.

Now when you come after me about all that, come strong. You're welcome for the opportunity. Because had I simply posted this ode to its own shittiness without making the broader statement, you certainly would have had nothing to argue about. Not even reasonable minds can differ on this.

Click play if you dare. You've been warned. It's open.


38 comments:

  1. I would've chose "Simple Man" because it's the anthem for complacency, but this will do just fine, Marv. I hate it all.

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    1. I have a soft spot for complacency, but you are a wise man.

      Delete
  2. Oh, Marv. You picked a good day to be egregiously wrong for the first time. I hate that you're wrong, but the entirety of my hate is currently focused elsewhere so you're off the hook until Madoff's Mets shows up.

    It's a rough day to be a co-owner of an NFL team, fellas.

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    1. Based on yesterday's post, I can only conclude that this Madoff character has finally come around to accept the warm embrace of HATE. And your defense of this terrible, terrible work is a fitting tribute to the play that has your ire. THE RULING STANDS AND YOU LOSE! LOSE!!!

      Delete
  3. I don't HATE Synyrd as a whole. They have a couple of songs I don't mind (The Ballad of Curtis Loew), but this isn't one of them. The new incarnation of the band should be hung by the balls though. That "Red, White and Blue" song is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times worse than this one.

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    1. I refuse, REFUSE to listen to any more of their work, so any alternate selections will be noted but not explored.

      Delete
    2. Here's a very small sampling of some of the lyrics from the aforementioned abortion of a song:

      "My hair's turning white, My neck's always been red, My collar's still blue, We've always been here just trying to sing the truth to you.Guess you could say we've always been, Red, White, and Blue Oh"

      And my personal favorite part:

      "If they don't like it they can just GET THE HELL OUT!"

      Now, you may think I made that last part up, and while I wish I did, I didn't. It's real. And it's FABULOUS.

      Delete
  4. Precious few things in life are as glorious as waking up to mouse with a snapped neck after cleaning like crazy and setting traps for three days. You really can't build a better mouse trap.

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    1. Jesus Christ, I'm dying. My family is dying. There hasn't been cheese for da- oh my God. It's cheese. Sweet, sweet cheese. Too much to even eat! I can feed my family, and sell the rest to get money for chemo for Lydia! This is almost too good to be true. No time to think about that, though. Let me just grab-
      [SNAP]
      [CRUNCH]
      EEEEEEEERrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghghhhhhhhhhlllllll

      Delete
    2. [stares, dead-eyed and dead, into the soul of his beautiful daughter, who now must pull a chunk of cheese out from under her dead father if she wants chemo]
      [begins decomposition process]

      Delete
  5. Holy crap, McDonalds is doing breakfast until 11 today. Let's all go get McMuffins!

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  6. Zell Miller jokes? Still attracting indignant fans.

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  7. Nice to see that Greg 'Aryan" Stieswhatever combs twitter for last night's jokes and puts them on Deadspin today. (see The Bufalo Wild Wings joke in the "Fire This Asshole" post and a joke I saw a million times on Twitter last night in the "Screecap" post.)

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    1. Eh. Whatever. I didn't see it. I guess this is what I get for only following Raysism, Ashton Kutcher, and Floyd Mayweather.

      Delete
    2. Ah, missed it too.

      Still could've been an independent thought, though. I dunno. It was the first time I'd seen.

      Delete
    3. I remembered seeing it from at least 2 or 3 NFL players last night. Hell, I'm pretty sure I saw it on DS once or twice on my solitary pass there last night.

      Delete
    4. Not to pile on, but I don't even have Twitter and I'm 90% sure I saw his comment from the Golden Tate graphic post on there, too.

      Delete
  8. This song kicks ass. Skynyrd kicks ass. I wash my hands of this whole affair.

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    1. I'D WASH MY HANDS TOO IF IT WOULD GET RID OF THAT SMELL!!!

      Delete
  9. 1 - Lynyrd Skynyrd died when Ronnie Van Zant (whitest trash[est??] name ever??) died in a plane crash shortly after that footage was taken in '77. Any and all reincarnations of said band, especially Uwe's abortion of a song he lists above do not belong within five miles of the Skynyrd cannon.

    2 - The guys were actually really talented musicians. Say what you want about the songwriting, the fuckers could play, which is more than I can say about the other 2/3 of "Classic Rock" listened to by the DadBoner archetype. Their musicianship can't be fucked with in my opinion.

    3 - That said, their songs really are the lowest-common-denominator of white trash dip-rock. I was-a cuttin' a rug down at a place called The Jug with a girl named LindaLou. *puke* These guys are from Jacksonville, if you couldn't tell. They are the Coldplay to The Allman Bros Radiohead.

    4 - In conclusion, I can't really hate it. I think we all grew up, in some degree or another, with Skynyrd playing on the radio. I'd much rather listen to them than Bob Fucking Seger who neither has the musical chops or Southern-livin' cred to hold Ronnie Van Zant's cock.

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    1. 5 - They were a significant influence on Drive-By Truckers. Without Skynard, we'd never have Souther Rock Opera.

      Delete
  10. Is all "Freedom Rock" indicted by extension? Or just that which comes from the fucking Florida panhandle*?


    *Apologies to those of you from there. Because that makes me feel bad. Because you were born and/or are living in the terrible, terrible Florida panhandle.

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    1. Pardon me good sir, but did your recent commentary include the phrase "Freedom Rock"? This has a direct impact on my next life decision.

      Delete
    2. If you had to characterize the way in which you perambulate/make a livin'/generally do the best you can in one gerund which ended in an apostrophe, what would that gerund-with-an-apostrophe be?

      Also, I was just about to increase the volume on this .38 Special song currently playing on my Hi-Fi. Would you have any objection?

      Delete
    3. Well sir that's pretty hard. I'm known for rockin', rollin', partyin', lovin', livin' large, takin' life by the balls, and holdin' on loosely. So you turn that shit right on up.

      Delete
  11. Skynard has some good stuff and some not so good stuff. Mostly though, their shit has been overplayed. I want to make it legal to dick punch any asshole who selects Free Bird or Sweet Home Alabama on the jukebox because nobody needs to hear either for the 567,890th time.
    Excuse me while I crank up The Needle and the Spoon.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Guy Who Thinks Marv Doesn't Truly Know HateSeptember 25, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    Marv, Marv, Marv...I think you're starting to lose the plot with this exercise. The songs must elicit HATE. Not apathy, or mild annoyance. Real HATE!!! And with Skynard, I mean, c'mon man...there is so, so much to hate.

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    1. Oh, I understand HATE like my own nether regions. And I HATE that song, too. I can't post them all. See the write-up.

      Delete
  13. Marv, Marv, Marv, bless your heart. i understand hate. And I agree with the hate you have for these songs you've been posting. But to declare your hatred for the entire genre that included this is to declare that you were born too late for the genre that was meant to be your love and your life's calling. Here you go. Now you are free to go and experience the happiness and joy that was waiting for you all along.


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    1. Oh, Erg. You ol' codger you.

      Perhaps we can find some common ground despite our generational obstacles. For instance, I am a big fan of Hieroglyphics.

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    2. Hieroglyphics? Piffle. They shoulda stopped at Cuneiform That's what started this whole problem with newfangled things.

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    3. Well p'shoot Marv. I had this ready and forgot to paste it.

      One for me.

      And one for thee.

      Delete
  14. Thanks to my comment in the "Who Are These Guys" post, I can't get this out of my head.

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  15. Lynard Skynyrd is the lowest common denominator. They are Wonder Bread, Treat (the budget SPAM), Tab Cola, and Winston Cigarettes rolled into one.

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