Wednesday, September 26, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 15 (September 26, 2012)

It is possible to fully support a message without appreciating the manner in which it is delivered, and that's the conundrum I find myself in with this incredibly corny composition.

This is the epitome of lyrically lazy, auto-tuned crap that has taken over "urban" radio in a way that makes me weep for days gone by. The inclusion of the word "Henny" is a pretty quick ticket to my HATE list. It's right up there with "in da club" (which is weird, because I kind of like the Usher song, as silly as it is) or rhyming "party" with "Bacardi" (which is weird, because I also kind of like the Jagged Edge song).

Maybe I just deconstructed my own thesis, but this case is not based on a single word. Not even close. Everything about this inexplicably inescapable "club banger!1!!" is terrible. It's like an unintentional caricature of the horrible genre in which it's contained. With an obnoxious stutter effect, to boot! All topped off by a repetitive chorus and title that was destined to become a staple catchphrase for assholes and their Twitter accounts! Because "What happens in (place X), stays in (place X)" isn't always specific enough to sum up their wild debauchery!!! Plus, it doesn't fit as well on t-shirts!

OK. I'm angry now. With the force of a battering ram, it's open.


36 comments:

  1. It has come to my attention that you have taken my silent protest these past few days as a passive acceptance of your propoganda. I thought for sure that others would follow my lead and add to my growing protest as it slowly crushed your balog with the force of its unrelenting tidal wave of silence, but unfortunately that only works on Deadspin. Now that I look back on my plan, perhaps a silent protest was not the most effective way to combat a deaf music critic. It looks like a loud protest won't work either. So take notice of these angry gestures I direct towards you!

    While your posts continue to be inherently misguided, please take solace in the fact that I you are not solely responsible for your horrible taste in music, much like your mother is not solely responsible for giving birth to something so flawed. So Rejoice, as you both can blame it on the al-al-al-al-alcohol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, remember the first generation of multifunctional personal-computing technology? Like, say, the first pager that could also be used as an alarm clock, or the first gaming systems that also played music/movies? Do you remember how-- generally-- they tended to be either terrible at one of the functions or iffy-to-terrible at all of them?

    Ladies and gentlemen: the multitalented Jamie Foxx.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow gramps, a pager and an alarm clock? What, did you have to wake up early to go hunt and gather?

      Delete
    2. You're mocking me now, but when this 8-ball jacket and these British Knights come back in style, I'll be the one getting jacked for them because I'm so stylish and well-liked.

      Delete
    3. Ahhh god, sorry StF. I'm just pissed because my fucking mom bought me pharmacy shoes again. I hate my life.

      Delete
    4. [Does celebratory "wop"]
      [Transitions into Roger Rabbit]
      [Dusts off shoulders]

      Delete
  3. Also: Is it bad form to point out somebody else's comment as the DS equivalent of a comedian applause-line? I'm asking as a matter of principle, and not regarding a particular comment by a DS old-timer in the Replacement Ref/Division I post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate to break this to you Bud, but that was teapot123's first comment.

      Delete
    2. Yes, but if you can't see Lady Andrea's unmistakable thumbprint in there, you're blinder than Roger Goodell!!!!!

      Delete
    3. If this is about my two miserably failed attempts at jokes, I think you should point it out. Why don't you go put little signs under each of them, so MKMUB readers can follow what you're talking about. Just something to indicate that this one is included. Like 'plus this one.' Or just +1.

      Delete
    4. @StF: Oh man, that was a moment of white-knuckle terror, reading this comment, right until I got to the "Replacement Ref/Division I" part and deduced to my great relief that you weren't talking about this.

      Which, screw you guys, I thought it was funny. I apologize for nothing!

      Delete
    5. Oh, miserable failures I like. I'm a Cure guy.

      I also like when people do what they're best doing. Which is to say, make with more Olive Garden jokes, Olive Garden boy, or I'm going to burner-flame your buns... unlimitedly.

      Delete
  4. I actually like this song.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I just realized that I'm thinking of the wrong song. I thought you were talking about the Jamie Foxx/Kayne/Twista song off of The College Dropout. That's what I get for never clicking on any of the videos you post.

      Delete
  5. Walk On The Wild Side from that shitbag Lou Reed just popped up in my Pandora feed. THUMBS DOWN LIKE A BOSS.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HELP I'M TRAPPED IN NICK DENTON'S BASEMENT AND I CAN'T MAKE HILARIOUS JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY STUPID AND EVERY TIME I YELL FOR HELP I HAVE TO WAIT 30 SECONDS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't have to follow me and harass me over here too, Todd. I'll do better next time.

      Delete
  7. What's goin on here, gang?

    http://deadspin.com/people/bobsyouraunt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That isn't the Mentalist. That CAN'T be the Mentalist. IT CAN'T BE! GET OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE!

      [Watches cursor move mysteriously, as if on its own]
      [Watches as words, "BOBS YOUR AUNT... IT'S AUTUMN SUNRISE, DO YOU LIKE IT?" appear on screeen]
      [Mouth hangs open; lets solitary tear fall]

      Delete
    2. Well, there used to be a guy called Zodiac MF on the AV Club who did this shtick really well, but he didn't come to Deadspin so an imitation named The Mentalist popped up, and he was good (though not as good as legend would have it), but then he stopped coming around and some horrible ripoff named RedHeadedStepChild emerged, who clearly was done regular commenter doing a terrible troll impression. And he was terr-bull, so the ninjas ran him off. But then the ninjas left so now we have this shit.

      Delete
    3. Yep, he was Lord Comment, who I enjoyed. This guy...not so much.

      IMG, is the AV club Zodiac MF the same one who's now on twitter?

      [Private Message for StF: I DO LIKE IT]

      Delete
    4. Certainly looks like RedHead Step Child's style.

      @ Echo - Whatever he was doing to you that like, just whisper in his ear. No need to publish that stuff.

      Delete
    5. A little goes a long way with the gimmick accounts (up to and including ZODIAC MF); posting variations on the same joke on each of an entire afternoon's worth of posts doesn't help staying power.

      [Private Message for Echo: /Puts on "Unchained Melody" 45; wears sad, longing look]

      Delete
    6. I laughed at his comment in the Roethlisberger hoax post. That was the only one however.

      Delete
  8. Guy Who Is Still Pissed At KinjaSeptember 26, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    Catching up on the past couple of days of comments, I noticed that Raysism has had two comments (at least) that have received 40 or so +1 replies. No disrespect to Ray or his comments, but that never would have happened under the old system. Last year, anything approaching 20 +1s was a COTY candidate. Now you see that once or twice a week.

    These fucking burners have completely devalued the +1 currency.

    ReplyDelete
  9. See, IMG, the difference between me and you is, I love responses like this. (Also, I have a vestigial tail. So, two differences.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's great.

      And, you're right, my tail is not at all vestigial.

      Delete
  10. Whatever you do, don't miss Sgt. H's DUAN post tonight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First post to use Kinja's two columns to their full (limited) potential.

      Delete