Tuesday, October 16, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 32 (October 16, 2012)

Lately I've gotten in the habit of pulling off my pillowcases while I sleep. I'm not sure what this means, but it's the kind of riveting stuff you can plan on enjoying when this smash hit of a feature ends in two weeks.

Speaking of smash hits, why? Why??? Why did everyone love this one??? Oh yeah, catchy. An astute reader once pointed out that I seem to HATE "catchy" songs, and that's not entirely off. But it's not entirely true, either. I mean, we all agree that this is the greatest song in the history of recorded music, and it's certainly "catchy" to me. So there! I struggle to specifically articulate where "catchy" leads to HATE for me, but it might be an overly repetitive beat, riff, or chorus. It might be an overly kind substitute for "gimmicky", with the proliferation of crappy songs that are designed to create an obnoxious, t-shirt ready catch phrase or an instantly played out white bread wedding dance craze. And almost always, "catchy" leads to the "Hey, you gotta hear this!" inescapability that is a surefire way to cannibalize any likability that may have been there initially.

There was none for this "catchy" little number. Not from the start. I can HATE this tune in one note. Put on your bumblebee suits and sting me with your criticism below. It's open.


27 comments:

  1. Oh, Marv.

    Marv, Marv, Marv..

    I'm not going to steal Madoff's bit, but you're way off on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If anybody placed one of my bands' songs on the hate list, I'd just die. Let's see what this Tuesday morning has in store for me.

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  3. Marv you really don’t get it do you? Let me tell you another story that happens to be appropriate for this time of year. It was Halloween 1987. I was just a little boy and my folks and I had just moved to a new town. Growing up I was infatuated with bees, there were bee posters on my bedroom walls, yellow and black striped bed sheets, and honey nut cheerios in my cereal bowl. Well as Halloween approached there was nothing else I wanted to bee (get it?! Buzzz!!). When I told my father that I wanted to be a bumblebee for Halloween he ridiculed me, telling me that bumblebee costumes were for girls. I asked him why a boy couldn’t be a bumblebee and he asked me if I knew what kind of bees made milk. I was stumped. He answered with a big smile on his face “boo-bees!!”. I still didn’t get it. My mother, bless her heart, ensured me that I could be whatever I wanted to be for Halloween. She went out the day before Halloween searching high and low for my costume. Unfortunately all of the children’s bumblebee costumes had already been sold out. My mother wouldn’t be stopped and came home at almost midnight that night with a costume bag in hand. I was so excited. I opened the bag to unveil my new “Sexy Bumblebee” costume. Now I always pictured myself as your regular type bumblebee, but if the costume called for being a sexy bumblebee then I was going to be the sexiest bumblebee this little boy knew how to be. Being new to the neighborhood I didn’t have any friends yet, but I figured Halloween was going to be the perfect opportunity to start making some. Well needless to say my costume didn’t go over as well as anticipated. I can still hear their heinous laughter and the sound of eggshells exploding off my body. I didn’t make many friends that year. It was almost 5 years later when this video first caught my eye. Finally a video that shows the plight of the bumblebee enthusiast and let you know that it’s okay to embrace your inner bumblebee. This song and this girl gave me the peace of mind that 5 years of therapy couldn’t. So Marv, either give this song the respect it deserves or you can just buzz off!!

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  4. Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

    SRSLY, don't fuck with Toto. Jeff Porcaro FTW

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    Replies
    1. Great link, which led me to several more. Thanks.

      Delete
  5. Universal Enveloping AlgebraOctober 16, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    I have to admit that I kinda like this song. The video, though, is just miserably terrible.

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  6. First of all, show me a Melon that can actually see and I'll buy the band's name. Secondly, this song doesn't bring out any kind of hate in me. Obviously Marv you are one of those guys who hates things that become popular because you don't want to be seen as a guy who likes mainstream stuff because you type to the rhythm of your own blogger. Or something.

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  7. "I was into these melons before they went blind"

    -Marv

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  8. Hey, remember that friendly guy from the office? That amiable dude, who helped run Accounts Payable for a bit, and had an easygoing, almost-stoner-y vibe to him? Remember when his girlfriend died? That was sad, but he just seemed to get more relaxed and funny. And then he moved into the cubicle right next to yours for a few weeks, and he was just, like, totally nice-- letting you know when someone stopped by your cube if you were out, picking you up a muffin if someone put out a platter and he was nearby-- the entire time? And then, after those few weeks, he moved way over to the other side of the office after that? And you only really saw him every once in a while-- all-company meetings, afternoons when you happened to catch the same elevator-- for the rest of the time you worked there? You know how it's been, like, years since you saw him, or even thought of him?

    GOD, don't you just despise that fucknugget?

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    Replies
    1. So you're saying you HATE this song too, right?

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  9. I was a big fan of Shannon Hoon when he was performing back up vocals on G'n'R's Use Your Illusion albums. But when he sold out and formed his own band, I was done with him.

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  10. I once got into a physical altercation due to this little ditty. Now, I'm not a malevolent guy(when cycling off the juice), and people are free to listen to whatever shit they so choose, but when you opt to listen to said shit in the locker room immediately prior to our game against our biggest rivals, it's....

    HEADPHONES OR GTFO!1!!

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    Replies
    1. THIS was someone's "hype" music???

      I'm sensing the game didn't go too well, but you deserve the game ball.

      Delete
    2. Funny thing is, the song did get me really hyped up. At least indirectly it did.

      Sadly my on the field performance was lacking as I was suspended for the game.

      I HATE Blind Melon.

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    3. So did you kick the other croquet player's ass or what?

      Delete
    4. Idiot. The correct spelling is "crochet". And, yes, you're darn right I did.

      Delete
  11. Look, I know the ninja is never coming back, but when I see people +1'ing comments making fun of minor errors by longtime writers at Deadspin I'm going to keep on hoping, wishing and praying that he will.

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    Replies
    1. I finally lost all faith in the system with today's NHL-Bain post. I thought it was a pretty evenhanded look at what private equity groups do and how they might have run the NHL. Yet somehow some commenters thought it was some sort of Commie propaganda. Sure, there's plenty of that at Gawker Media, but this wasn't even close.

      Delete
    2. @ILCB - I completely agree. That was a very clear, well-researched and well-written article that accurately worked its way through the motivations of both Private Equity partners and NHL owners, and described the implications of each on the negotiations.

      When it posted, I was bored out of my mind and was just hitting refresh when caught the story and read it very quickly. But by the time I had finished (5 minutes after it posted), there were already two "YOU ARE LIBTARDS!1!" responses. These idiots don't even read the story. They saw "Bain Capital" and assumed the article was an attack on Mitt Romney.

      I know, I know ... idiots have always been here. But before they were denied the satisfaction of seeing their "discussion starters" immediately appear on the site.

      There is no turning back, but can the authors at least dismiss "replies" to their own stories?

      Delete
    3. Hey, I just read that they're making another "Ernest" movie despite Jim Varney being dead, so never say never.

      Delete
    4. I know the "high road" dudes would say otherwise, but that had to be done. +1, whoever you are.

      I'll say it, under my own name. For Sweden is terrible, and the handle only makes sense because his comments produce Saabs.

      Delete
    5. You know, I come around here for a little break from whatever the hell else it is that I do, and once in a while you clowns (not you Gamboa) post links to Deadspin, so I check them out. I swear to god, if I find out who that was who posted that link, which forced me to read For Sweden(star)''s comment, I will find a way to make them pay. Preferably cash, but a PayPal transfer will do.

      Delete
    6. Obviously not me, as it's been well-documented that I have no idea how to post links.

      'Puters!!!

      Delete