Monday, October 15, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 31 (October 15, 2012)

Hey, guys! Great job over the weekend! Way to capitalize on that momentum, and all that positive encouragement I heaped on you!!! It's not like there was anything to talk about. It certainly wasn't an incredibly captivating weekend in both college and pro football. I mean, sprots! Amirite???

Also, it's not like a Guy Who Newly Defines Psychopath jumped from SPACE or anything, like it was the platform at the local Y. And if he would have, it's not like it would have been the most batshit thing to occur on live TV since Artie Lange christened Joe Buck. Meh, it's just JUMPING FROM FUCKING SPACE! No biggie. Science nerds assured his safety. Kind of an over-hyped guinea pig, if you ask me. Try blowing a line off of one of Saturn's rings on the way down next time, Super Dave Osbroune!!!

The total jump was allegedly 24 miles. To put that into perspective, that's 476 MILES LESS THAN THIS SONG I FUCKING HATE SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS AND IT MIGHT BE THE WORST ON MY ENTIRE LIST BECAUSE I LOATHE IT BEYOND DESCRIPTION AND NO MATTER WHERE AND WHEN IT MAKES AN APPEARANCE EVERYONE WILL CHEER AND SING ALONG WHILE I SEETHE LIKE SOME TWILIGHT ZONE PROTAGONIST!!!

I can't take it anymore. This has been in my back pocket for so long that it's time to pull the rip cord and see what happens. Entering the atmosphere... Here comes the chute... IT'S OPEN!!!


21 comments:

  1. Yes! The only thing that motivates me to comment is being yelled at, several times a week, for not commenting! Brilliant strategy, Marv! Negative feedback or GTFO!

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  2. Marv have you ever walked 500 miles? Didn’t think so! Well it’s a pretty long walk my friend. Let me tell you a story. The year was 1996. I’m from New York (get well Jeter!!) and I had a little sweetheart in Cleveland (fuck you LeBron!!). Well one day my sweetheart calls me up on the phone and says that she wasn’t sure the whole long distance thing was going to work. I told her that long distance had been around a long time and that with the advances in technology and new carriers in the market that the price per minute would only go down and the quality of the calls would improve. She said she wasn’t talking about phone service, she was talking about how far we lived from one another and that she wasn’t sure that my love for her was strong enough to overcome the distance. And it was at that moment that this classic from Proclaimers came on the radio. I immediately knew what I had to do to prove my love. I checked on a map and sure enough Cleveland was roughly 500 miles from New York. So you know what I did? I spent the next 5 minutes trying to fold my map back up. But you know what I did after that? I started walking. And every time I was just about to give up I turned up my Walkman a little louder and let this melody give me the strength I needed to keep going. I made it almost 4 miles that day. As I called my mother from a pay phone to pick me up I thought to myself, maybe my love for my sweetheart wasn’t 500 miles strong, but 4 miles is pretty damn strong. My sweetheart and I broke up later that night, but I learned two valuable lessons that day: 1) The Proclaimers know a little something about long distance relationships and 2) I needed to adjust my Match.com search to 5 miles or less.

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  3. The Amazing SneijdermanOctober 15, 2012 at 1:43 PM

    I'm not his biggest fan, but there's definitely something weird going on in Hamilton Nolan's latest post for Gawker. As in getting called out by Nick Denton in the comments weird.

    You'd think an email would have done the trick, but for some reason this radical transparency is at the top of Denton's list. I don't want to see an editor ream out a writer in front of me -- if it's not good enough it should never be published in the first place. And if it is, then that reflects badly on the writer and the editor. I can only imagine how Barry or Tommy would react if Denton did this to one of their pieces without any prior notice.

    Or it's all a big inside joke circle-jerk between HamNo and Denton, and I've just been meta-fucked.

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    1. 'Tis simple. If he can't get enough 'known' people to join in on Kinja old Nick has decided he'll damn well do it himself.

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