Saturday, March 24, 2012

MKM Open Thread (Mar 24, 2012)

Welcome to your MKM Blog open thread for March 24, 2012, the day you concluded that sometimes when people claim to be allergic to something, they are just massive wusses.

Good morning, and welcome to your weekend edition of the MKM Blog's controversial open thread.  A place where you can say whatever you feel like and know that I'll look the other way and then make some excuse about having a "job," or a "wife," or "other shit to do besides compulsively pressing refresh," to explain away why I didn't immediately delete the offensive comment on the stupid little blog I spend 7 minutes on every day.

Please play nice.

Here's a hysterical Youtube clip to get you started.


60 comments:

  1. I have it on good authority that Eddie Murray Sparkles is actually Carlos Mencia.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have it on good that Eddie Murray Sparkles is actually Carlos Mencia.

    [pauses for laughs]

    Thank you, I wrote that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [says something bitter and unfunny]

      Delete
    2. [says something bitter and unfunny]

      Delete
  3. [still getting quoted by Midwestern college students unironically]

    ReplyDelete
  4. Internet Blog Commenter Commenting on Blog about Comments on Internet BlogMarch 24, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    [lurks]
    [hits F5]
    [lurks]
    [hits F5]
    [lurks]
    [hits F5]
    [lurks]
    [hits F5]
    [lurks]
    [hits F5]
    [lurks]
    [hits F5]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If lurking and hitting F5 got you drunk, Internet Blog Commenters Commenting on Blog about Comments on Internet Blog would be FUCKED UP!

      Delete
  5. Why do they call it a "job"? Because it tests your patience!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. [waits for applause]

    [hits F5]

    [realizes that he is in front of a live audience]

    ReplyDelete
  7. [drops watermelon on Leno's car]

    ReplyDelete
  8. [flips hair backwards]

    [stabs Leno through the eye socket]

    ReplyDelete
  9. [dies]

    [finally gets his applause]

    ReplyDelete
  10. [continues rotting in "COLLEGE" sweater]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [continues to look for a career move as successful as that of his big brother dying]

      Delete
    2. Jerry Lee, K9 ExtraordinaireMarch 24, 2012 at 2:40 PM

      You take that back. How many animals was John ever successfully carried by?

      [licks own balls]

      Delete
    3. [tries to lick own balls]

      [snaps neck]

      [achieves 2nd best career moment]

      Delete
    4. This is Totally RaysismMarch 24, 2012 at 2:54 PM

      Man, I wish I was as good as that guy. RIP.

      Delete
  11. Kenny? Kenny are you here? I got a great idea for a reunion show! I tried your cellphone but it went straight to voicemail. C'mon man, where are you already?

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm actually pretty sure that college hockey's version of the Sweet 16 is to buy her a nice box of chocolates and then try to fuck her in the ass.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey, read this. Commenting is going to die. AJ admits it. Sort of.

    http://gawker.com/crosstalk/forum?comment=47985648

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a great read - fun to see AJ mix it up with the Gawker commenters, though I am surprised about how negative he was about the "+1" at Deadspin. This is (painfully) well-trod turf, but I assumed he was in the prevailing camp of "seeking the +1 is what makes Deadspin commenters so good." I guess not.

      At any rate, the new system sounds like it will be less than fun at first. Do we have any concrete information on when/what it will be besides the apparent fact that it will include the words "Pow" and "Wow"?

      Delete
    2. I can only wonder if the commenting system will be one of those where you click "thumbs up" or "thumbs down", or some version of this, hence "Pow" and "Wow". Or some type of indicator that replaces +1. I've even seen some sites with leader boards based on these votes.

      Delete
    3. That makes sense. And, as a nice side benefit, it will be fun to see Raysism fight with Analysis Rube for leader board supremacy (though we'll eventually have to help them turn their computers right side up).

      Delete
    4. Mangini In A BottleMarch 24, 2012 at 3:47 PM

      YESSSSSSSSSS! Under this new system, my reign of mediocrity shall continue unabashed!

      Did you all get a chance to see the changes?

      http://lifehacker.com/5895909/transitioning-your-commenting-account-the-faq

      Delete
    5. I'm rich in spirit, handsomeness, and extreme handsomeness, if that's what you mean. Oh, you meant money? I'm loaded, too.

      Delete
    6. I am NOT rich in replying to the correct thread, however.

      Delete
  14. This man calls you commenters "boogereaters" behind your back (actually, he's perfectly fine with insulting you in front of your back as well)March 24, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    "CIAO"

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm not going to link it, but "BD McGee" or whoever, who is consistently terrible, pulled a huge dick move in the Joba thread. The banhammer is long overdue. If you choose to explore what I'm referring to, be warned. Graphic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To clarify, it is the Joba post from yesterday.

      Delete
    2. Mangini In A BottleMarch 24, 2012 at 4:24 PM

      Jesus. Personally, I don't get grossed out seeing things like that, but all the same, some fucking decorum is not that hard to come by, is it? What an assclown.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, that's the issue. And in what way was that additive? It wasn't a joke, or even an attempted one, and it wasn't any kind of intelligent discussion. It was strictly to stir shit up, and that guy has no place on Deadspin.

      Delete
    4. And he's banned! Well done, ninja.

      Delete
    5. Thankfully he was banned. What exactly did he do, though?

      Delete
    6. @ Lionel:

      Jinxies!

      Delete
    7. Echo, just to be an asshole, I'm going to buy you a Pepsi.

      Delete
    8. Oh yeah Lionel? Well just to be awesome, I'm buying you an R.C. Cola.

      Delete
    9. I really don't know what the hell you two are talking about, but RC is the best cola in the entire balogoshpere.

      Delete
    10. [places Pop-Rocks-and-Jolt-Cola bomb under Echo's car]

      Delete
    11. RC Cola is, by far, the market leader in the Philippines. If you want to know more about cola, I'm here all night.

      [stays up all night, hitting F5]

      [eventually passes out, depressed as usual]

      Delete
  16. Random question - based on the site statistics (http://www.quantcast.com/deadspin.com) there are more than 10% of DS visitors making more than $150K. So, are any of you commenters obscenely rich? I know there are some lawyers around, so I'm guessing we have our share of $100K folks. But, who makes $200K+ and has time to hang around a sports blog? Do jobs like that exist, and can I get one? Or are these just drive-bys? I guess what I'm saying is, being poor sucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think it's that uncommon. Lawyers at big firms make close to $200K their first year out of school. Investment bankers do better than that. Software engineers vary quite a bit but the ones at the top end make way over $200K. All of these jobs involve sitting at a computer portal all day long...

      Delete
    2. One of my friends is a starred commenter (I, alas, am not) and made $700K last year (I, alas, did not). So, yeah... Life sucks sometimes.

      Delete
    3. Let's just say it helps owning one's own business...

      Delete
    4. ... of which I am not the product.

      Delete
    5. Just to be clear, fat-l was not the friend I was referring to. But, good for you fat.

      /hangs self

      Delete
    6. I believe this is where someone inserts that fat-l is not the friend anyone's ever referred to.

      Delete
  17. Man Newell got kind of owned in that Boring Tournament post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What does that mean?

      Delete
    2. I thought he came out fine. His response to "joeyheller90" was fantastic and none of the other detractors said anything worthwhile. At least on the Tebow post IMG challenged him thoughtfully, and Sean's response was good there as well.

      I like that Sean is trying to do something more substantial with the weekend - the NCAA and Tebow pieces were worth reading and a welcome addition to the typical space-filler weekend stuff (and, before you accuse me of sucking up, know I've had more than my share of disagreements with him. And, as he has made very clear, he couldn't give a shit about me).

      Delete
    3. It means that I felt like the people who criticized him were right.

      Delete
    4. I agree. I thought Sean handled it pretty well, and I liked the post.

      [plus fingers in ears before chorus of "IMG never criticizes the editors, and lets people talk shit on a balog that he technically administers, and hates puppies, and once voted for Olmedo Saenz for the all-star team"]

      Delete
    5. You hate puppies? Good, then I think we'll get along fine. I am having a fried puppy sandwich right now and it is just fantastic (though, to be fair, it could use a bit more "big sad puppy eye" juice - that stuff makes Sriracha taste like flavorless mayo.)

      Delete
    6. Oh, good, Dubai, you found the secret menu items at Num Pang!

      Delete
    7. That place was awesome. Food update to come in DUAN (because I now you are all breathlessly waiting) but the only disappointing part was that no one came to say "hi." It's OK, though, I have plenty of friends.

      OK, 3 friends.

      OK, those are my 3 kids.

      OK, they would each vehemently disagree that they are my friend. But, I do legally own them for another 13 years, so they have no real choice.

      Delete
    8. Besides being a suck up, I apparently spell "know" as "now."

      Delete
    9. I'm stuck in patent hell until Wednesday night, sorry man.

      Delete