Monday, July 2, 2012

MKMOT (July 2, 2012)

Greetings friends.

We've got a special treat for you today. Deadspin favorite and Free Candy Van owner Bevraj of Choice has decided to help out Marv & me with a guest post. (Quick note: so you don't think Bev is any more of an asshole than you usually do, he wrote this before hearing about the blueTonic fix.) Without further ado:

Bev, in better days

Hey fellas.  Bev here.  Yeah, that Bev, not the 70 year old waitress down at the local greasy spoon who mistook your $3 tip for an invite to steal your virginity when you were 13.  What? That never happened. Maybe that was just me.  

Anywho, Marv wasn't feeling so well* last night, and knowing that I'm a full 12 hours ahead of you East coasters he asked me** to do a quick write up to kick start your Monday.  On that note, let us waste no more time and get to it, shall we? OK, since I really don't spend much time on this fine balog and haven't seen the various pissings and moanings last week, let me ask you this:  What's the latest hive mind opinion with this whole Kinja thing?  Are we still not pleased with*** it, or have we decided it's OK****?  Personally, I was thinking about staging a one man protest and not commenting*****, but since no one noticed my lack of commenting anyway since moving into the future I thought I'd just go ahead and give it the old college****** try.  Let's face it, while it's nowhere near perfect*******, what else are you saps going to do?  Work?  Sure, me too ********.  I've got an idea.  Howsabout we all unbunch our panties and drop some gems out there today?  Well, you guys, not me.  It's Monday night and I've got to work out *********, eat a healthy post workout meal **********, and then maybe see if I can't find a beautiful Filipina *********** to keep me company.  So, that's it, fellas.  Do some damage out there today and I promise I'll never do this again.

Paalam. Aalis na ako! ************

*was in the bag
**decided to fucking use me
***in a murderous rage over
****realized we're impotent bastards who yield no power whatsoever
*****really don't give a shit and was going to comment anyway
*******blows like [insert name of porn actress here to complete terrible joke] (NAILED IT!1!!)
********/wanking motion
*********get ass cheek and calf implants for 1000 pesos
**********get fucking totaled
***********anything but another ladyboy. Quite the surprise, that was. Nice ass, though, and the sex wasn't all that bad either
************complete gibberish


  1. Universal Enveloping AlgebraJuly 2, 2012 at 9:50 AM

    Hey guys. I'm on the road, and I just pulled up the "desktop" version of Deadspin on my phone and --

    There's an "All" button?!


    Is this for real, or just my phone being strange?

    1. Universal Enveloping AlgebraJuly 2, 2012 at 10:21 AM

      Right above the comments, I see three options: "Featured Discussions," "All" and "Inbox." It may just be a mobile thing, although I am definitely viewing the full site...

    2. Yeah, it's always been that way on mobile. I know it's a "full site", but they just haven't done a full-scale Kinja for mobile yet, so that's what you get. Before blueTunic's fix, that's how I read a lot of the site. It's actually pretty nice, right?

  2. Awesome guest post, Bev. +1

    Put me down for decided it's OK****.

  3. This has everything you're looking for in an awful comment. Not only is it a meme, but it's illogical within the context of the article.

  4. Has anyone else had an issue with notifications?

    At some point over the last hour, a notification showed up for me in the corner. However, it doesn't direct me to any new replies or messages. It is just the number "1" with nothing else. I went to my inbox, and it doesn't look like anything has changed, so I'm not really sure why it's there. Any ideas?

    1. Discussed extensively on opening day. Clear your cache.

      This won't solve anything, but it will make you sound smarter than you actually are.

    2. I tried that, but it didn't work. Up until this point I've had no problem clearing notifications with Kinja, but it's not letting me clear this one even after clearing my cache.

      The weirdest part is that it showed up in the first place. I have no idea why it's even there because there doesn't seem to be any new interactions, and it wasn't there 90 minutes ago. It's not a big problem by any means, but still unusual.

    3. Same thing happened to me. Didn't clear out till I got another reply. Knowing you, it should clear up anytime in the next 5-10 years.

    4. That's good to know. Sometimes I wish that my doctor had the same level of optimism that you do.

  5. First, awesome post Bev. +1

    Second, have we figured out the +1 algorithm effect yet? We had fun with it over the weekend when I got a few +1s on a comment and went to the back of the list. Today it happened again when Mav responded to me in the blackout post and I went from middle to the end.

    Yes, to pre-empt any psychoanalyst responses - I do suck, I am a crazy person, I deserve to be last, etc. But, questions of how the algorithm works do affect others, so I thought I'd ask if anyone (BH?) has figured it out definitively.

    1. Yesterday I gave Post ApocalypticRecSpecs a +1 and it dropped his comment from second or third down to eight. I went back and edited it to this:

      +1, need to have a way to enter guitar riffs to comments

      and it moved him up to the second position.

      A straight +1 appears to hurt, while adding a short line at least nullifies the downgrade.

    2. I think there are far too many variables to figure this thing out. I also don't think it's very good yet, or done growing. We know for sure it depends on a manual evaluation of you as a commenter, who you've been associating with via replies and their evaluation, quality of comment, quality of replies, timing of the comment, etc. I also happen to think there's a way to be manually moved up and down the ladder without being dragged totally out of conversation, but that's conjecture.

      It does seem like simple +1s may hurt, but check out the most popular comments recently. On some threads, you're going to see a comment with unadorned +1s at the top of the list. Other times, it's in the middle or end. And this seems self-serving, but since it's off the top of my head: The past 2-3 days, I've had a handful of comments with a handful of +1s each. With the exception of last night's joke that got a reply from the comment faerie, they've all been literally the last comment in the >> section. But I've also been at the top of the list with 2 or 3 +1s, too.

      The only thing I think we know for certain is who the algorithm really likes: the Comment Faerie, Bev, and EMS. I've seen everyone else marginalized on occasion. I'm not complaining, just saying that's all I can figure.

    3. From what I've seen a reply from some folks is worth its weight in the gold they charge per word for said reply.

    4. You appear to be right. At least I know the algorithm dislikes Schneiderman as much as it does me - his "Ha!" moved me behind all three posts of "She likes balls to the face" by a single burner account and a failed "you got served" gif.

      It takes me a while, but I can take a hint. You win, Kinja (and Sigmund).

    5. The Amazing SneijdermanJuly 2, 2012 at 12:35 PM

      Sorry about that, I was only trying to help. Oh well, I now have the un-disappearing green 1 on my screen now, too, even after a cleared cache.

      Just a great day in Kinja-land.

  6. Black Jesus the ThirdJuly 2, 2012 at 12:03 PM

    Dammit, you guys. Y'all are great. I lurked on Deadspin for around 6 years, had it set as my homepage, yada yada yada. I haven't been back to the site except to read funbag since the Kinja move. I know the Gawker execs might not give a shit about the commenters, but to me y'all provided more content to that site than the writers did. I have a new homepage here.

    /ventures over just to check
    //oh god it's worse than I thought
    ///Who is this 'Raysism' troll over there? Lord.

    1. Hey, that's me, y'all!

  7. I tried to Rosa Parks Shartings joke in the EA post. In part out of fun and in part to promote my poorly constructed, unwieldy candy bar post. It does not appear to have worked.

    1. Oh man, EMS just halted the joke unless you click on it.

      Grrr.....I hate Kinja.

      Sorry EMS, but I am going to dismiss that reply.

  8. So that racist ass who made the doctor/baby slap/half a banana joke was deleted. (If you didn't see it, in the Mario Balotelli post the comment was "so will the doctor slap the baby with half a banana?" or something very close to it)

    I'm glad that happened, but this is what's wrong with Kinja. There are repercussions to that stuff, and there's no banishment thanks to burner accounts. Someone could troll the fucking life out of Deadspin if they wanted to.

    So my question is, what's really the point of the terribly named Comment Fairies?

    1. Certainly you remember the orchestra members on the Titanic!

    2. I would hope they're doing IP bans for repeat offenders and/or particularly egregious comments like that.

  9. Hey fellas. Does anyone remember this beautifully absurd story? I'm still kind of in awe of it after three years. (bottom of page and sorry, i do not know how to create a shorter link)

  10. Last year round this time there was a DUAN thread on midyear COTY awards and as I recall Bevraj, who went on to win for realz, was named on most of the ballots.

    So who is your midyear COTY?

    1. I believe he deserves the respect of using his entire name:

      blueTunic found a hidden Star

    2. Without the commenting histories, it's going to be hard to come up with some names beyond the usual go-tos (who are obviously go-tos for a damn good reason).

      That being said*, I'll throw out Bring Back Anthony Mason. BBAM's been really good, with several multiple great comment days.

      /doesn't mean that to be an insult

    3. Off the top of my head, I'd probably go with Gamboa or *gulp* Raysism.

    4. @RAC


    5. Top 5 for 2012 COTY. No particular order.

      Steve U

  11. It's gotta be Gamboa. That fucking malignancy.