Wednesday, August 1, 2012

MKMOT (August 1, 2012)

One of our very own esteemed commenters posted this yesterday, and it needs more attention.

To those of you from over there who occasionally wander over here, this is not baiting. I'd welcome your input. I feel for you, I really do. I know what it's like to work for an insane tyrant with no concept of reality except that which exists inside his own world where an egomaniacal desire for perverse self-gratification is a sustenance greater than oxygen. No. Not you, Gallego. Relax. I once did some "modeling" for Dov Charney.

Below is a forum where your comfort level submitting anonymous tips about seeing Ken Oberkfell buying a ball-peen hammer at Lowe's is my utmost concern. If it just so happens you have something entertaining to say, I suppose that's OK, too. But don't think that people are coming here to read it. You're all pawns.  ME ME ME! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one cares, but it's open.






72 comments:

  1. http://deadspin.com/5930796/now-jerry-hairston-has-the-ball-now-he-doesnt

    commenting is back on track!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a goddamn disaster. There's really no other way to put it.

      We're fighting an irrepressible tide. Literally irrepressible, because they refuse to let the ninja-faeries do their jobs and delete shitty comments.

      There are a few dozen of us, against the full mouth-breathing weight of Internet-humanity. We can try to hold out for a bit, but eventually we'll be overwhelmed. To a large extent, that's already happened.

      It's not fun. It really isn't. I've always tried to ignore the shitty, and focus on the positive, but that's becoming increasingly impossible.

      Is the best hope at this point that Deadspin breaks off from Gawker, a la Fleshbot? It's a long shot, sure, but I imagine Barry, Tommy, Tom, etc. are seething at what Denton has done to their site.

      Delete
    2. @Steve U

      Hot damn. Somehow I had never considered that idea. That would be fucking great. I would think.

      Delete
    3. Just curious, how much would a site like Deadspin cost? Did Fleshbot get bought by a third party? What happened there?

      Delete
    4. I'd thought about that too, but I get the impression that it would be entirely too much of a long shot to become optimistic about.

      However, if it did happen, and we returned to the old system, that would be fucking incredible.

      Delete
    5. Wait, wait, wait ... Fleshbot is no longer part of Gawker? Does that mean I have to move it from my "legitimate blog" folder to my "pure smut" folder?

      Also, I really, really hope you are right. The infinitesimal chance that a legitimate "leak" or interesting back-and-forth with a story's subject could come up in the discussions is not worth the destruction of the comment section (especially as the latter was possible in the former system, as we saw with Nate Jackson). And the site's editors are far too smart and respectful of the commenting culture to disagree. Hopefully this is a major point of discussion at Gawker HQ and some compromise is reached to eliminate or downgrade burners.

      I know I'm not the funniest guy on here by a long, long shot, but it is depressing to see my jokes buried beneath 3 or 4 burner "that's what she said" style comments. And, even EMS gets buried when two burners decide to debate penis length. It is just depressing.

      Delete
    6. Clickthroughs are up about 400% since Kinja. Is there any other analysis needed?

      Delete
    7. No kidding. I know my clique is through.

      No, what the fuck are clickthroughs?

      Delete
    8. Whatever you kids call it. Clicks. Hits. The number next to the article.

      Delete
    9. As I said below, that number is meaningless to Deadspin, to Gawker, and to advertisers. They only show it because it tells readers which sites are getting a lot of traffic. The number that advertisers care about is New Unique Site Visitors, and that number can be seen by hovering your mouse pointer over the "clicks" number on each article. That's the only number internet advertisers care about at all, and Kinja doesn't impact it at all unless a comment thread breaks out and becomes something that is bringing people to Deadspin for the first time. And that's not something that comment threads have ever done reliably or consistently enough to make a difference.

      Delete
    10. Waiting for Anonymous to Answer My QuestionAugust 1, 2012 at 6:49 PM

      @ Anonymous

      Hey man, I just did that hover thing and some math. One one post there was 14,064 pageviews and it said 494 visitors, so that means those people made 28 pageviews each in that article. Or are those only the people who are visiting Deadspin for the first time? Is that who the uniques are?

      Thanks, I just want to know how it works.

      Delete
  2. Guy Who wonders if he clicked MBA by accidentAugust 1, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    You're all pawns. ME ME ME! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Did I click Mad Bastards All by accident?

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is zero fun to be had on Deadspin now, and you know it's true when even Steve U admits it has become a lost cause.

    /waits for Shitehawk's 653 word explanation why everything will be okay
    //makes pre-emptive wanking motions

    ReplyDelete
  4. So, I was out of the country the last two weeks. When I left, it looked like we'd turned the tables on Kinja. Judging by the mood here, things haven't gone well of late.

    I don't quite know what to make of it. I'm hoping this is partially driven by the Olympic coverage (which I don't follow and can't pretend to care about) and partially by the fact that lots of people have been traveling. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's tough when a goddamned rock like Steve_U, who has never faltered during any previous downturn, starts to lose hope.

    I'm not going to comment much this week, not because I'm not trying, but because I'm fighting a bad combination of jet lag, an accumulation of work, and what seems to be a mild case of bubonic plague, but I hope anyone who is preparing to "give up" decides to take a short vacation instead. At least check back in a few weeks when the Olympics and summer vacations are done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy who says feel betterAugust 1, 2012 at 11:44 AM

      Feel better, IMG.

      Delete
  5. Anyone having issues with the actual functionality of Deadspin? I have seen at least two replies to me disappear, I've had an on/off issue with the reply notifications, and, on top of that, I see only one comment on the Paulina Gretzky post when I'm almost certain there were a bunch before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm seeing the same thing. And on the 'What The Jingoists Are Saying' post I've got a comment that does not show if I use an incognito window so I don't know if anyone else is seeing it.

      The same post keeps showing me either 20-odd comments, or 8, depending on its mood.

      Delete
  6. Let's get real and stop blaming what's going on the time of year. Do you really think NFL season WON'T bring out 78% more dipshits saying "GOO RAIIDERZZ!" or "Aaron Redgers fucking sucks, man."

    Please, it's only going to get worse. Fucking bet on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you will it, it is no dream.

      Christ, this isn't the fucking apocalypse. Just sack up a bit and see how it plays out. Maybe it gets better, maybe it doesn't. Sitting around and posting doom and gloom shit helps nothing.

      Delete
    2. Guy Who Are You? Who who who whoAugust 1, 2012 at 1:03 PM

      How's Denton's ass taste, IMG?

      Delete
    3. @IMG Totally agree. If you want Doom and Gloom, you should go see the musical version of "Bring it On" currently defiling the boards at the St. James. That shit is the death of culture.

      xoxo,
      MKM

      Delete
  7. Those numbers next to the post called "views" are probably skewed because of clicks due to the Kinja system.

    I find it highly unlikely that readership skyrockted because word got out that the audition process was eliminated on Deadspin so suddenly thousands more people started reading the posts. It's probably each time you click on a comment it counts as a view.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those random click "views" are meaningless to Deadspin, to Gawker, and to advertisers. Uniques are the only ones that matter, and that number can be seen by hovering your mouse pointer over the page-view number on each post. I have no idea whether those have gone up or down, but Kinja has nothing to do with those. Time to find another tree to bark up.

      Delete
    2. Good points. Woof, woof.

      Delete
    3. Guy Who Is PolkPantherAugust 1, 2012 at 2:45 PM

      Bear in mind that Deadspin's traffic has skyrocketed this week because of the Olympics; two of their stories about the NBC opening ceremony/terrorism tribute controversy landed on Reddit's front page, which is a monster chunk of traffic by people who don't usually read Deadspin.

      Delete
  8. Is it possible to tell when your own comment was dismissed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Literally any time you reply to me. That's one way.

      Delete
    2. Guy Who is just bored so is attacking someone to drive pageviewsAugust 1, 2012 at 2:56 PM

      Didn't you retire?

      Out of curiosity, does 911 still send a car out when you call to threaten suicide, or have they learned yet?

      Delete
    3. I'm like the Brett Favre of Deadspin. Not because I retire and unretire constantly, but because I have a small dick!1!!1!!1!!!!

      Delete
  9. Forgive me if I come off as a dick, and this isn't meant to be directed toward any single person or "guy who," but aren't we past the point of arguing about whether Denton made the change to Kinja for page views, click throughs, unique views or whatever other theories have been floated out there yet? If he came out and said, "Yes, the change was made because I wanted to increase the click-through rate, and guess what, it's working!" would it be any different than him going to other outlets and saying that he is trying to get anonymous leaks and celebrities to start frequenting the comment section?

    What's done is done, and the motivation for the change is largely irrelevant at this point. I hate kinja just as much as the rest of you, but arguing about the motivation for something that happened months ago seems like a tremendous waste of time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God, you are so right.

      Delete
    2. Thankfully you just kept the discussion alive that died off a couple hours ago!

      Delete
  10. Guy Who Is Gamboa Desperate For Some OptimismAugust 1, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    On the bright side, that Anthony Adams video was pretty great.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Do we actually give a shit about Deadspin at all, or do we just want to make each other laugh? If it's the latter, then someone beside me should construct a blog in which all the comments are separate from the Deadspin site. And then aim for an invite-only commenting system. I believe that was how Deadspin started, no?

    ReplyDelete
  12. So, I've apparently pissed off AJ on twitter. All I was trying to do is praise Emma, but it is what it is. In my defense, I've been awake roughly 40 hours straight and could barely see straight enough to kick my dog when I got home tonight (bastard kept jumping around - but I tricked him by aiming at the one on the left. Dogs always expect you to kick at the one in the center when you are so tired that you see them in triplicate. You have to be one step ahead.)

    I'm going to go to sleep now and see where we stand in the morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How was twitter originally sold? "It's like e-mails, but more disjointed and completely public! It'll scramble your brain!"

      Delete
    2. Guy Who Can Only Achieve Orgasm When Things Get Blown Way The Fuck Out Of ProportionAugust 1, 2012 at 4:45 PM

      (cums)

      Delete
    3. Guy Who Honestly Likes You A Lot And Is Endlessly Baffled By This RoutineAugust 1, 2012 at 4:46 PM

      Not my business, but neither of his responses strike me as remotely "pissed off." Whereas you launched into psycho defensive mode as soon as he replied to you. Why do you do this gadfly stuff so much?

      Delete
    4. @Guy Who #2

      I don't know. Bored? Uses twitter, Deadspin and all related channels as entertainment and distraction for an otherwise dull existence?

      Is that what you want to hear? It's probably right, but still - kind of rude to ask, right?

      But, seriously, what in my response struck you as "psycho?"

      Delete
    5. /gets pushed out of the way by a diving Dubai

      The fuck, man?

      Delete
    6. Guy Who Was Recently Diagnosed As Being A Crazy PersonAugust 1, 2012 at 5:07 PM

      You are a crazy person.

      Delete
    7. @Crazy Person Guy Who.

      Yup, I had the under on 20 minutes, and there you are. Congratulations. It really is the specificity and witty articulation of your criticism that forces me to take you seriously.

      Delete
    8. Guy Who Was Recently Diagnosed As Being A Crazy PersonAugust 1, 2012 at 5:17 PM

      OH MY GOD FUCK YOU DUBAI, YOU OVERREACTING MOTHERFUCKER!!!

      Delete
    9. By the way, Marv/Guy Who/[we can both fill in the blank here], I would appreciate receiving a bit of the credit for increasing your readership.

      Delete
    10. Guy Who Randomly Changes the Subject Based on Even Just one WordAugust 1, 2012 at 5:20 PM

      Speaking of Forces...remember Force M.D.s? Everyone knows "Tender Love" was the real shizznit back in the day, but before that they had a pretty awesome song and video called "Forgive Me Girl" that I still like to throw up on Youtube and get my groove on to. Check it out! One dude's teef are fucked up!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z07XR1DWzA

      Delete
    11. OK, Marv, I apologize. My last comment was written before seeing our (anonymous?) all-caps friend reply. Obviously, that is an idiotic troll. Again, my apologies for the association.

      Delete
    12. Guy Who Was Lying About Recently Being Diagnosed As A Crazy Person But Is Going To Break Character Because This Is Just Too DeliciousAugust 1, 2012 at 5:29 PM

      What my aim was, with the all-caps reply, was to basically have the exact same back-and-forth you had with AJ on Twitter (yes, I realize you didn't use all-caps, but my point stands), which I though was obvious with the sudden, irrational anger with which I replied to your harmless reply. Then you call me "an idiotic troll" for it.

      Think on that for a minute, dawg.

      Delete
    13. Guy Who Stipulates Your Guy Who #2 DesignationAugust 1, 2012 at 6:03 PM

      Well, unlike the other anonymous dunces here, I was honestly hoping that you might have some kind of (misguided, misbegotten, foolhardy, but) serious intent behind this recurring thing you do where you take a needlessly antagonistic role toward the site. I'm not sure what's rude about that.

      And I used the term "psycho" because Daulerio responded to you with what struck me as a pretty deadpan *shrug* type of comment, and your response came off as wildly defensive and hostile. That's weird behavior.

      You're such a good commenter when you make jokes. And such a batshit lunatic when you go off the ranch.

      Delete
    14. @ Guy #2

      I appreciate a well thought-out comment, so thank you. I didn't intend to have my first response to AJ come across as defensive, but all I did was parrot his language back to him. If I was a defensive asshole, doesn't that make him one too?

      If not, then fine - I'm tone deaf. This wouldn't be the first time I heard that argument, and I appreciate the legitimate criticism. And I agree that there is a difference between my normal comments on the main site and my comments here - take a look at the time, convert it to UAE time, and guess the reason why.

      But, at least I put my "name" to it - unlike your anonymous dunce friends.

      I may be a crazy person, but I'm an honest one.

      Delete
    15. Guy With Phone BookAugust 1, 2012 at 6:14 PM

      /looks up DubaiAtNight
      //finds nothing

      Delete
    16. @Guy With Phone Book

      You are either an idiot or a hypocrite. I put my own "handle" on my posts, knowing damn well that it will cost me +1s on my Deadspin jokes (and that at least a dozen people on here know my real name/job). You make idiotic "Guy Who" jokes while hiding so that your jokes on Deadspin will not be associated with your pathetic attacks over here.

      If you are EMS, Steve_U, or RMJ=H then I apologize - you deserve the leeway. Otherwise, fuck off.

      Delete
    17. Guy Who Is Not An Idiot Or A Hypocrite, But Is Simply Capable of Reading At A 1st Grade LevelAugust 1, 2012 at 6:29 PM

      Pretty sure you said "name".

      Delete
    18. You are both an idiot and a hypocrite, and your reading skills are still very much in doubt until you prove otherwise.

      Here is my twitter account ... find the tweet that offended you so much and let me know. https://twitter.com/DubaiAtNight.

      Delete
    19. It's the one you drew attention to yourself right above, where A.J. was "mean to you".

      Unless that was one of your other personalities that posted that comment here, the fact that you have no idea what I'm talking about it just insane.

      Delete
    20. I don't even know who you are, much less what you're talking about. And I didn't draw attention to myself - I praised the writer who first approved and promoted me. As for other personalities, I gave that up last year once I realized what Deadspin was all about. I suggest you do the same.

      Delete
    21. Guy Who Hates BullshittersAugust 1, 2012 at 6:52 PM

      I thought you were going to bed.

      Delete
    22. Ya know, I cut up a bunch of jalepnos tonight without gloves, then I took a piss and picked my nose. That pain was much less than some of what I have been reading here, Guywho.

      Delete
  13. The fact that AJ Daulerio has enough followers to fill me to capacity is a terrifying comment on humanity.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Guy Who Was Recently Diagnosed As Being A Crazy PersonAugust 1, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    So, I've apparently pissed off Dubai on the MKMUB balog. All I was trying to do is help diagnose his issue, but it is what it is. In my defense, I've been awake roughly 40 hours straight and could barely see straight enough to kick my dog when I got home tonight (bastard kept jumping around - but I tricked him by aiming at the one on the left. Dogs always expect you to kick at the one in the center when you are so tired that you see them in triplicate. You have to be one step ahead.)

    I'm going to go to sleep now and see where we stand in the morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good lord, you are clever. I know intelligence can't be directly taught, but surely there is something you can pass on?

      Delete
    2. Kevin Eubanks applauds slowly with a forced grin on his face.

      Delete
  15. OK, I've thought about it. And I've concluded that you are still an idiotic troll until you link to whatever twitter comment you are referencing, dawg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy Who Hopes You Are JokingAugust 1, 2012 at 5:43 PM

      I hope you are joking.

      Delete
    2. A link would help your case.

      A name would too, but we both know you're beneath that.

      Delete
    3. Your move, crazy person.

      Delete
    4. The requested URL /images/thumb/c/c5/Link_2_%28SCII%29.png/250px-Link_2_%28SCII%29.png was not found on this server.

      Yup, that feels about right. This feels like a Gawker conversation. Why don't stupid people just acknowledge their stupidity? It's not like the rest of us can't see it for ourselves.

      Delete
    5. Jesus man, didn't you just see the post IMG put up? Cut it out already.

      Delete
    6. @Guy With Respect

      I'm not using an anonymous account. How about you look in the mirror for a second before you post?

      Delete
    7. Guy Who Is Not DubaiAugust 1, 2012 at 6:22 PM

      /looks in mirror
      //sees sane person

      Delete