Saturday, August 25, 2012

MKMOT (August 25-26, 2012)

As nice as it was of CJ to usher me out the door yesterday,  my vacation doesn't actually start until Monday. That's right, kids, you won't have to deal with ol' Marvypoo for awhile. Being the workaholic that I am, I'm not much for time off, but once IMG explained to me that my unused vacation days would not be carried over, I realized that it was in my best interest to use them. Fortunately, after umpteen denied requests and a few conference calls with a Department of Labor representative, he graciously agreed. I'm not going to tell you where I'm going, but let's just say it's widely regarded as the greatest place on the planet, and ladies will be plentiful.

Don't let my absence change what you do around here. It's not cool to act up for a sub, so don't start being nice or stop throwing spitballs just to show off. I'd like to think we've gotten to the point where you're better than that. I will be getting a full report of your behavior when I get back, and if I don't like what I hear, I promise you there will be hell to pay. As for me, I will do everything I can to return with a renewed vigor, a fresh sense of purpose, and a singular determination to make this balog the best place it can be.

Take er home, CJ. Ladies and Guy Whos, I bid you adieu. But before I do, like my flask before takeoff, it's open.






23 comments:

  1. [waves to Marv]
    [turns on TV]
    [goes back to window, double checks that Marv is really gone]
    [puts on HBO's Real Sex]
    [is thoroughly disappointed]

    ReplyDelete
  2. [notes time of Marv's post - insanely late unless he's on West coast]
    [notes time of CJ's post - insanely early unless he's overseas or a masochist on the East coast]
    [notes Marv's vacation for next week]
    [will watch comments]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy Who does not like circle jerksAugust 25, 2012 at 3:08 PM

      Does anyone else think this whole "CJ / Marv / IMG blowing anonymous kisses to each other" thing goes a long way to confirming your critics' assertion of an impenetrable "in crowd" of elite commenters?

      Delete
    2. Yeah, man. It sucks when the guy who created a balog gets all chummy with the other 2 who run it. And the comment section sure is impenetrable. Can you approve me please???

      Delete
    3. @12:08 Guy Who

      As someone who has hung around this site for lo these many years I can say that yes, there is an "in crowd" of elite commenters. I can also say that no, this group is not impenetrable. All one has to do to join is to make elite comments. I have never seen someone new come along who made 'elite' comments that was excluded. Indeed, they were always most heartily welcomed. I can say this without bias because I never was and never will be in the category of an elite commenter. I can also say that I have never felt excluded even though I'm just a guy who noodles around the edges. Damn, guy who, were you the kid who went and told someone the big boys won't let you play with them? This "in crowd" "circle jerk" crap is getting old.

      And do you honestly think these people give a good crap what their "critics" think of them?

      Delete
  3. I just ran 5.5 in the morning sun, in shorts that covered the entirety of my testicles. Long story short, suck it, Raysism.

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    Replies
    1. Fine. Lest you be unimpressed, I've attached a picture of myself linked to my name.

      Delete
    2. I ran 17, in shorts that showed some testicle. But that's because at my age, I would need to find shorts that go all the way to my shins.

      Delete
    3. Do one pullup, Zola Budd.

      ONE!!!

      Delete
    4. Do I get to put my hands facing out or in? Because I can't do either.

      Funny story: So I was laid up from running for a few months with an injury, and I decided to try the P90X thing. It was awkward for a couple of weeks (because I had no muscle tone and absolutely zero history of strength training), but eventually I started to get better at it.

      Around 5 weeks into it, I entered what I now call my "Flowers for Algernon/Awakening" phase -- all of a sudden, for the first time in my life, I could do a few pull ups, and could knock out like 30 pushups at a time. I suddenly could control muscles that previously didn't exist, and I swore that I'd keep this up for the rest of my life.

      Eventually I got to the point where I could run again, so, predictably, I dropped P90X and got back on the road. Three weeks later, I tried to do a pull up at the kids' park, and I couldn't get my forehead over the bar.

      Delete
    5. [blows whistle]
      [signals for "technical foul"]

      I believe we were promised a "funny" story.

      Delete
    6. I revel in this.

      /does 12 pullups
      //in long shorts

      Delete
  4. Universal Enveloping AlgebraAugust 25, 2012 at 12:47 PM

    Is this over the line?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. In fact, I was going to +1 it, then I remembered you still owed me that twenty bucks.

      Delete
    2. Universal Enveloping AlgebraAugust 25, 2012 at 2:17 PM

      Look, man, I told you I was working on it, but the game preserve says they're on back order.

      Delete
  5. Kinja 2.0(?): wherein for whatever reason, my comments rank at the top of a Jezebel article.

    I AM A GOD AMONG MENSTRUALS*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Hey idiot, way to leave a random dangling asterisk that actually goes nowhere (except to this ex post facto reply that is currently struggling to justify its very existence)

      Delete
    2. Bet I'll have you naked by the end of this song!

      /gets fined by FCC

      Delete
  6. Only one day in, but Guild Wars 2 seems to be fucking phenomenal.

    It's going to be the single reason I can't study at home...if I'm within crutching distance I'll end up dropping the biochem and picking up that game on a regular basis.

    Anyone else pick that up yet (released in stores on Tuesday, but if you prepurchased online the game opened up yesterday)? Already made up for the huge disappointment that was Diablo III.

    ReplyDelete