Monday, August 6, 2012

MKMOT (August 6, 2012)

Race walking? RACE WALKING??? This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life. You can't just take a legitimate sport, modify it by 1%, and call it another "sport" because you're not good enough at the original one. What's next? Synchronized diving???

Oh.

There's something wrong with a sport if I were out at the bar trying to score and I'd not mention my gold medal in it. Just run already, dudes. You know you want to.

It's open.




63 comments:

  1. Great stuff already in the Daily Screencap thread.

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  2. Replies
    1. But seriously, I gave it a mighty swat, and it disappeared over the horizon like a little missile. Little did I know that 3 seconds later it would go thwap! and introduce itself to my backside.

      Badminton is the best.

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  3. You can't just take a legitimate sport, modify it by 1%, and call it another "sport" because you're not good enough at the original one.

    Sure you can. Imagine, for example, that you had a swimmer who was not a very fast swimmer, although he could be pretty competitive over longer distances. If all you did was see how fast people could swim over various distances, he could only win one medal in his entire life, and that was the 200 four years ago. Doesn't sound too impressive, does it?

    But say you started giving people medals for swimming slower than they are able, using what some would call the "racewalking strokes". And then say you have teams of swimmers do the same thing. Now he gets over twenty medals, and he's the greatest swimmer ever!

    Yea, fake sports! But not you, MMA.

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    Replies
    1. Hey, I resent that -- real runners don't stretch. If you ever see a guy doing that at a 5K, he's about to finish a few minutes behind my wife.

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  4. er, shot his mom a look when she asked if he still had the runs.

    Anyways, do any of you know how to kill a person over the internet? Because that dildo behind FlapShip would be the perfect person to kill, over the internet.

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  5. Nice work by UEA dismissing that dick with the "Meh" comment.

    Dismiss, dismiss, dismiss!

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    Replies
    1. Universal Enveloping AlgebraAugust 6, 2012 at 2:15 PM

      The weird thing is that I never actually dismissed him. When I looked at my inbox, I saw replies from StF, RMJ=H and an already-dismissed burner reply. Perhaps a faerie took care of it for me?

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  6. Replies
    1. U.S. looking ever the part early. Alex Morgan appears dangerous. It's a bit chippy on the pitch.

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    2. The Americans are clearly pushing the pace thus far. Must do more on the set pieces.

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    3. Hey guys. Thanks for chiming in.

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    4. Raysism Who Is A Guy That Wont Let It Go And Enjoys This FactAugust 6, 2012 at 3:07 PM

      Why is it that every member of the USWNT looks more fit than our best female swimmer?

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    5. Dominating play without putting the ball in the net is a dangerous game. The longer the Canadians can weather the storm, the more confident they will become. And... Sinclair has scored to give Canada the lead.

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    6. Disastrous back line failure by the Americans. Sinclair did well with the touch. Solo didn't have a chance there.

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    7. Brandi Chastain seems to be overly praising Solo for the simplest of plays. I had actually forgotten about the recent controversy until I noticed this. Awkward.

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    8. Dreams are nothing more than wishes
      And a wish's just a dream, wish to come true

      If only I could have a puppy, I'd call myself so very lucky
      Just to have some company to share a cup of tea with me

      I'd take my puppy everywhere, la, la, la, la I wouldn't care
      Then we'll stay away from crowds with signs that say no dogs allowed
      Oh we, I know he'd never bite me, we, I know he'd never bite me

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    9. And Morgan puts a cross onto the head of Wambach, who can't finish. Canada will be thrilled to take it to the half at 1-nil.

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    10. Coach Sundhage is going to have to play psychologist as we go to the half. Momentum has shifted, and frustration has to be setting in.

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    11. Another uninspired set piece from the Americans.

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    12. The ref just missed a foul and awarded the Canadians a goal kick on what should have been an American corner. Play carries on...

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    13. This is getting frustrating. PUT ONE IN!!!

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    14. You're a soccer fan, D Pop?

      Who knew?

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    15. GOOOOOOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLL!

      A bit flukey, but we'll take it.

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    16. And Wambach draws a yellow from a Canadian mid.

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    17. Sinclair puts in a header. This could be a killer.

      It just highlights how dominating the ball means nothing without creating legitimate scoring chances. Dammit.

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    18. WOW!

      A rocket by Rapinoe! 2-2.

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    19. Brilliant strike off of a splendid cross.

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    20. Sinclair heads in a corner for the hat trick. Canada answers quickly and devastatingly. Absolutely demoralizing for the Americans.

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    21. Leroux on as the Americans go offensive in search of the equalizer.

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    22. WOW! U.S. awarded a PK on what's sure to go down as a controversial handball. Wambach to take the kick.

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    23. The goalie guessed right, but Wambach calmly places it perfectly in the low corner. 3-3.

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    24. We are witnessing a classic.

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    25. Bellwether JohnsonAugust 6, 2012 at 4:24 PM

      I've been to SI.com and ESPN.com, and I've gotten more accurate and timely updates from you all than anywhere else. Can't wait to watch the highlights tonight.

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    26. Morgan with a brilliant run and cross to Wambach, who misses. A tough finish, but one that she knows she should convert. Entering 88th minute.

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    27. Cool! This is like a really slow, and hard to update Twitter feed!

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    28. Huge mistake on the back line puts a Canadian attacker one-on-one with Solo, who was fortunately well-positioned. Epic disaster averted.

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    29. 3 minutes of stoppage time added. U.S. stays in the 3-4-3. Playing to win.

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    30. And a harmless U.S. corner ends regulation. Headed for extra time, to the delight of viewers everywhere.

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    31. I'm a vocal fan of the "Golden Goal" system, but anyone rooting for the U.S. right now has to feel more comfortable with the two period format being used here, the way this game has been going. The field's been tilted downhill for the Americans all night, but Canada (Sinclair) has managed to squeeze in 3 quick strikes anyway.

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    32. Uneventful start to the first extra period. O'Hara with a nice run, centers to Leroux whose sliding kick is deflected over the goal by a Canadian defender. Approaching the 100th minute.

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    33. Heather O'Reilly subs in for Cheney, Canada answers with a sub of its own. Canadian attacker is taken down by O'Hara just outside of the box. Free kick awarded.

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    34. Scoreless first extra period. 15 more minutes, then PKs if needed.

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    35. U.S. hasn't been able to mount any kind of attack in the extra periods. Fatigue is obviously setting in, for both sides. Sauerbrunn comes in for Buelher on the back line as the U.S. uses its final sub.

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    36. First goal aside, the Americans continue to do very little with their corners. Their 12th of the match sails out high without a meaningful touch.

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    37. Solo starts a counter attack that leads to two dangerous passes across the box by Morgan in less than a minute. Canada dodges a bullet.

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    38. Wambach with a looping header off the crossbar. May have been saved otherwise, but close.

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    39. We enter extra time with Canada on the attack.

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    40. I LOVE YOU ALEX MORGAN! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  7. Skiptebow: Ultimate troll or just legitimate, Grade-A moron? I'm almost inclined to create a burner account with the sole purpose of bludgeoning him with hate every time he posts.

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  8. It's official. Kinja has reduced the Deadspin commenting section to that of YouTube's.

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    Replies
    1. Yep. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It's amazing how truly ignorant some people are. I mean it really is amazing.

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    2. It really isn't that difficult to put in a filter for certain words. When detected, the comment could either be dismissed or placed in quarantine until someone approves it. At the very least someone with the ability to dismiss the comment should be immediately notified that it's there.

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    3. That is fucking infuriating.

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    4. For what it's worth, I've had some success emailing the writers and faeries when I spot the bullshit. Once they're alerted to something way out of line, they'll usually get rid of it.

      Still, at least once a day a whole post will go in a direction that would have been virtually impossible before Kinja, and that's not a good thing.

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  9. My optimism is gone. Kinja has taken the fun out of Deadspin.

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