Thursday, August 9, 2012

MKMOT (August 9, 2012)

Hey, nice job yesterday! [wanking motion]

I learned a valuable lesson- never place such crippling restrictions on discussion topics on a balog so clearly populated by pedophiles. Noted.

This reminds me of the time my Mom got me a gift certificate to the world's most popular online merchant, and wrote "Do NOT use on toys/figurines!" in the memo line. Well, I could have bought anything from books to electronics to hardware to sporting goods, but I think you know how this ended. With some additions to my collection that were dwarfed in value by the lesson that my Mom learned. Ahhh, last Christmas.

Redeem your online credit below. It's open.




70 comments:

  1. Hey, this looks like another great place to roll around!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Relax, pal.

      We'll give you something when we get to it.

      Delete
  2. I assume I'm not the only one who CAN'T WAIT for the soccer game at 2:45. Unfortunately, I have a bad gut feeling about the outcome. I'd love to be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a long, hard game they just played.

      Delete
    2. Yes. Aside from that, I have concerns both mentally and tactically. Hopefully unfounded. Can't wait to see.

      Delete
    3. Should be a good 'un. I just hope they're not having to keep coming from behind again.

      Delete
  3. "I'm not trained as a nineteenth-century historian..." says the guy who referenced the Crimean War in the very same paragraph.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gotta say, Skeevs, you're a good, funny writer. In fact, so many Deadspin guys are. I would like to know one day what industry everyone's in. Is it journalismism? There are a lot of lawyers, I know that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I teach 6th grade English. It's not as bad as people think, believe me. I wouldn't trade the age group for any other.

      Delete
    2. Thanks.

      I'm not going to tell you exactly what I do, but I work in recreational miniatures.

      Delete
    3. @ Marv

      So, you arrange vacations for Jim Rome?

      Delete
  5. Hello there, I'm from the government, and I'm conducting a survey on cell phone safety features. Can you please drop your phone in the toilet? I'm from the government, so you have to do this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Give me your top three commenter names.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jefferson Tardship, Tom Gugliotta's Delicious Fritattas, Kenny Baloggins.

      Delete
  7. First time I ever laughed at a burner comment.

    http://deadspin.com/5933307/?comment=51712589

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny in its directness and accuracy, but don't we encourage at least 9th grade grammar?

      Delete
    2. I think you're overestimating today's 9th graders, Dubai.

      Delete
    3. Probably, BBAM. I do have a 1st grader and a 2nd grader, each of whom can match that burner. But, like every parent, I assume that my kids are at least 10 years ahead of everyone else.

      Delete
    4. -1 to that guy for thinking that AJ and not ya know, Tommy is EIC of Deadspin.

      Delete
  8. IT'S TIME!

    Look, I'm among the worst kind of soccer fans, in that I dabble in the EPL and only really get sucked in by the major international contests, like the World Cup and Olympics. But man, do I get sucked in...

    I haven't been this excited about a sporting event in months. I still well up when I see the replay of Morgan's winner the other day. And something happens above my waist, too. That moment, along with Wambach and Donovan's goals, are at or near the top of the most emotional and thrilling sports moments that I have witnessed in the last several years. And I watch A LOT of sports.

    Boxx in for Cheney as the U.S. looks to shore up the mid. Buehler must play better on the back line. As mentioned earlier, I am very uneasy about this one. I'm not going to make a prediction, for fear it will come true. But I'm geeked. Even if you aren't a regular soccer fan, give this one a chance if you have the time. Watch it from the start, give it your full attention, understand the depth of the ebbs and flows and what this one means to the sport on the world stage. This is the best of the best. Besides Brandi Chastain in the booth, but hey, she's an icon.

    Wembley is packed. Here we go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brilliant touch for Morgan early, but Japanese keeper has angle for easy save. Much less frenetic and physical than the Canada game so far.

      Delete
    2. Morgan taken down after what appeared to be a beautiful through ball by Lloyd. No call. If it wasn't incidental contact, Japanese defender did a great job of making it look so.

      Delete
    3. MORGAN TO WAMBACH FOR THE GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    4. Correction: Lloyd gets the goal on a header. Originally looked like Wambach's left foot out of mid air. Look, you'll see the replay, OK?

      Delete
    5. U.S. appears confident, focused, businesslike. Japan looking rattled. Couldn't have asked for a much better start.

      Delete
    6. And Japan just misses out on 3 great chances in about a minute. 2 great saves by Solo. Breathe...

      Delete
    7. Tobin Heath goes brain dead and commits what could easily have been called a handball against the Japanese set piece. Here comes controversy.

      Delete
    8. And the post saves Japan from a horrific own goal. Holy shit.

      Delete
    9. To be fair, the Japanese defender who impeded Morgan early on could have easily been off for a red card. She played it well, and it wasn't as obvious as the handball, but you can see her glance and Morgan before running right in front of her.

      Delete
    10. HOLYHELLHOLYHELLHOLYHELLHOLYHELL

      /10 minutes behind on DVR
      //Just saw Japanese chances and Solo save

      Delete
    11. Thanks for chiming in.

      Couldn't see a red there, but like I said, may have been a great job of making intentional contact look incidental. Refs seem to be calling this one loose.

      Delete
    12. @StF

      Ooh, Mr. Moneybags and his fancy time warp machine.

      Don't tell me who wins.

      Delete
    13. Yeah, it was never going to get called at that point in the game, but you can see her look and then get into her path. But I only came to that conclusion after rewinding and watching it five times, so it's an incredibly tough call to make at full speed.

      The US needs to win the ball back earlier. Japan is so good technically that letting them pass it around 30 years out is just asking for trouble. Most of the US defenders are strong physically, but have a tendency to lose their patience and dive in before their help arrives.

      Delete
    14. Ohno blast sails just wide. Way too many scoring chances for Japan.

      Delete
    15. Lloyd has done a great job of getting back and making defensive plays. Great leadership there.

      Delete
    16. And Lloyd with a solid run followed by a long left-footer on net. Fairly easy save, but nice to see a shot on goal.

      Delete
    17. This is nerve wracking. I might not survive this game.

      Delete
    18. Great footwork by Heath, who then lets go of long shot way too early. Patience, my dear...

      We enter extra time.

      Delete
    19. A plus of watching women's soccer is that every shot of a player between palys does not involve them blowing snot out their nose or hocking a loogie somewhere. The fairer sex.

      Delete
    20. Somebody should invent a way for people to enjoy sporting events via social media. Especially two sentence anecdotes and observations. It sucks ass that this balog doesn't update in real-time, and has NORAD level spam filters.

      Delete
    21. @PARS

      The password is Joshua.

      Delete
    22. Key American adjustment made at halftime:

      Gamboa transports himself to brewhouse. Pours 6.2% scotch ale. For research purposes.

      Delete
    23. World-class touch down by Morgan, who continues to be a nightmare for defenders everywhere.

      Delete
    24. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE STRIKE BY LLOYD!!!!!!!!

      2-0.

      Delete
    25. Wow. That was some solo effort.

      Delete
    26. Unreal. I wanted her to make the pass.

      Shows you what I know.

      Delete
    27. TOO MANY CHANCES! Clear the damn ball.

      Delete
    28. Most dangerous score...dammit.

      Delete
    29. understand the depth of the ebbs and flows and what this one means to the sport on the world stage

      It means that after today, women's international soccer will ebb back to nothing until the Brazil Olympics. Good, because this faux patriotism gets a little tiring, along with the idea that somehow soccer will become important in the U.S.

      Delete
    30. Great reaction and positioning by the Japanese keeper. Damn, that could have been huge.

      Delete
    31. Obviously this barely merits a response, but there is another World Cup before the Brazil Olympics and soccer already is important in the US.

      Delete
    32. And the Americans add to their record of most saves in one game by defensemen. CLEAR THE BALL AND PLAY SOME OFFENSE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!

      Delete
    33. Holy shit SOLO!!!!

      I cannot comprehend a bigger save in a bigger situation. Flirting with disaster again.

      Delete
    34. @Gamboa

      Yes. She just scored USA's 3rd goal.

      Delete
    35. This edge of your seat nervousness is very reminiscent of the feeling one had when watching the Miracle on Ice.

      Delete
    36. HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Order is restored in the world. I love this team. Thanks for listening.

      Delete
  9. The US looks far stronger early on. As long as they keep up the pressure and attacking they will win this.

    Alex Morgan is a star.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bellwether JohnsonAugust 9, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    Seeing as we're all SOCCER CRAZY today, I was kind of (very) pissed off at the lack of coverage for the US Open Cup Final between the Seattle Sounders and Sporting KC that took place last night. It seems like through incredible fan loyalty, soccer-specific staduims, and on-point marketing, MLS soccer has really grown over the past few years. I've been to a Sporting game, and it was one of the most fun live sports experiences I've ever been a part of.

    Now, I know that the US Open Cup is not an MLS championship or anything, but the only place you could watch the match was on GolTV or on radio, which was broadcst in spanish. On top of that, I had to search for any kind of a gamecast (ESPN and SI.com didn't even have a preview of the match written up) and today on SportsCenter, they showed three minutes highlights from an exhibition game (Real Madrid v AC Milan) with nary a peep about, oh, I don't know, A 98 YEAR OLD TITLE FOR THE BEST SOCCER TEAM IN THE NATION.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's going to take a goodly amount of time, but I really believe that soccer will eventually become a major sport here. One of my wife's cousins was visiting from California last weekend with her three year old son. He was size five clothes. The kid's going to be as big as his dad who played football in college. They have decided their son is not going to play football because of the head injuries. It's not likely they're the only ones. Soccer is going to start getting some athletes they would not have been able to get a few years ago.

      And in just the last few years I've begun to really get into this game. Doubt I'm the only one. Don't know if I'll be around to see the coming success of soccer, but a lot of you folks probably will.

      Delete
    2. The Amazing SneijdermanAugust 9, 2012 at 5:15 PM

      To be fair, if you get Fox Soccer you probably get GolTV as well (though it's about to become absolutely useless once BeinSport finds US providers). And the tournament is the oldest, yes, but it's not *that* important in the grand scheme of things, as evidenced by how teams treat it. It seems like Seattle, and KC I suppose, are really the only teams that truly care about winning the cup.

      Also, from what I heard it wasn't a great game in general, so you may not have missed much...

      Delete
    3. Bellwether JohnsonAugust 9, 2012 at 5:51 PM

      @Sneijderman: Yeah, I get that it's not all the prestigeous, but I'd like to think it's still a pretty big deal. Maybe that's just my naivety speaking. I've never been a soccer hater, but am relatively new at following it with any kind of seriousness. I went to my first SKC game in June and it was fucking bonkers; for the money, one of the best live sports experiences I've had. Maybe I thought it was a bigger deal than it is.

      @Erg: I think there's some truth to that, though all of the best (soccer) players in the world seem to be shorter, low-center-of-gravity types, so I don't know how many displaced football players will succeed to the top level, no matter how early they start.

      Delete
    4. @ Erg

      They have decided their son is not going to play football because of the head injuries. It's not likely they're the only ones. Soccer is going to start getting some athletes they would not have been able to get a few years ago.

      The same thing was said in the 70s, the 80s, and the 90s.

      Delete
    5. @Bellwether

      But if the football players migrate to baseball and basketball that should push some of those low-center-of-gravity types to something else. And prior decades didn't have the amount of information on head injuries we're getting now.

      Delete
    6. Guy Who Likes To Make Fun Of Soccer Except When World Cup Is On Then He Is Guy Who Is Into Soccer Until USA Loses Then He Is Guy Who Makes Fun Of Soccer AgainAugust 9, 2012 at 7:05 PM

      I could see some baseball players move to soccer since they already know how to dive.

      Delete
    7. White people always think soccer is about to become the bomb. If it didn't happen after Pele in New York or the '94 World Cup, it ain't happenin'. We might go for rugby, but only sevens.

      Delete
    8. Piffle. Note that I said I might not be around to see it. It's going to be slow. It's going to take decades. And the good thing is, if it doesn't, I won't be around for you to tell me I how wrong I was.

      Delete