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Saturday, September 29, 2012
MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 18 (September 29-30, 2012)
Welp, I'm exhausted. And I've been told I lost all credibility as a once world-renowned music critic and highly-respected author of a balog about songs that are offensive to my individual tastes.
Now that I've been definitively discredited, I don't have to worry about revealing my negative sensory response to this one. The pressure's off. Clearly I know nothing of what I speak, so fire away.
Now, I am no expert on the Nickelback catalog, and this is definitely not a good song, but aren't there a few of their hits that are even worse than this one?
Ok, now that I'm done with a brisk 10-miler, I actually went to Wikipedia, and while this is definitely one of the worst, I would put "Photograph" at the top of the shit pile, with "Someday" right behind that. Most of the other singles I didn't recognize.
"Photograph" scores points for having a lyric that goes "What the hell was on Johnny's head?", which is so unintentionally hilarious it's almost unbelievable.
What does it say about me that I've ALWAYS heard that line as "and what the hell is that on Joey's neck?"
I mean, I guess I always thought that it was some, like, supremely dark foreshadowing of what that small growth would turn into, years down the road, as Joey failed to get it looked at despite the pleas from his friends and family, and it would be ignored for too tragically long as the cancer ate him from within.
I also pictured him as having one of these on his neck, for what it's worth. Which would certainly explain why Chad Kroeger felt the need to ask it with such alarm.
The best part is, in the video, as he shouts that line it shows the photograph in question. The thing on Johnny's head (according to the video): bunny ears from the guy next to him in the picture.
I'm 100% serious. Look at it on Youtube. It makes it 10x as hilarious.
Remember, this is songs I HATE, not "worst songs" or anything other than what it is specifically intended to be.
My assessment- all of these songs are "bad", for sure. "Photograph" is sing-alongy comically awful, "How You..." is just straight obnoxious and sonically irritating, with no humorous quality whatsoever to its terribleness.
@Uwebollocks @Mangini The line "And what the hell is on Joey's head?," so you're both deaf and wrong. There are no bunny ears. There is a horns sign, a thumbs up, and a "C" shape made with the other guy's hand. The thing on Joey's head looks like some type of black cloth.
And if you want a little thing in your ying-yang If you want a little zing in your zang-zang If you want a little ching in your chang-chang Come along (Come along) Ya we're coming to your city.
[passionately grooves along] [optimistically extends middle finger to passing car] [wonders why no one will stop]
/sees no college football //sees NHL playoffs behind tennis, basketball, and golf ///fights SbV8 ////refrains from cockpunching due to inclusion of World Cup
I would have struggled with those two, but at like 1 and 2, or 2 and 3. I have no idea what they're doing behind tennis, basketball, and golf. And, along with playoff hockey, college football is the best I-have-no-rooting-interest-in-either-team sport to watch. I can't fathom a list without it. At least there was no NASCAR.
YOU MUST LIKE THE SAME SPORTS AS ME OR YOU'RE A MORON!1!!1
"Interesting, I've never heard of Cincinnati chili! Oh, man, look, people are upset about this! I'll read these comments, I bet they're hilarious!" he said, while in Italy on his honeymoon, as he read a sports blog at midnight on Saturday.
Single most terrifying thing I've learned so far in medical school...basically everything you do and eat is going to give you cancer.
Like sugary or energy-dense foods? Cancer. Don't consume a lot of veggies, fruits, whole grains and legumes? Cancer. Like red meats or processed meats? Cancer. Drink more than 2 drinks a day (male) or 1 drink a day (female)? Cancer. Like salty foods or foods processed with salt? Cancer. Take supplements your told will help prevent cancer? Doesn't work that way. Cancer.
Flip side: there are some truly ingenious methods of cancer treatment being fine-tuned. Case in point:
Malignant tumors often cause angiogenesis (blood vessel growth) to both keep themselves supplied with nutrients and to facilitate metastases. So that's obviously a step in cancer progression that medicine tries to inhibit.
The really crazy thing is that they're finding some treatments work best when interspersed with very, very carefully timed promoters of angiogenesis. You can actually balance them so that you trigger more growth of blood vessels into a tumor along with tissue-specific directed treatment with chemotherapeutic agents. So you make it easier for a tumor to get nutrients and spread and then immediately use that newly improved nutrient delivery system to zap the this out of it. Lets you maximize chemo efficiency while hopefully minimizing the brutal side-effects.
Cool. I read some time back that researchers were working on ways to inhibit these blood vessels in order to starve the tumors. First time I've seen this approach. The more weapons available to the docs, the better.
Now, I am no expert on the Nickelback catalog, and this is definitely not a good song, but aren't there a few of their hits that are even worse than this one?
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteOk, now that I'm done with a brisk 10-miler, I actually went to Wikipedia, and while this is definitely one of the worst, I would put "Photograph" at the top of the shit pile, with "Someday" right behind that. Most of the other singles I didn't recognize.
ReplyDelete"Photograph" scores points for having a lyric that goes "What the hell was on Johnny's head?", which is so unintentionally hilarious it's almost unbelievable.
DeleteWhat does it say about me that I've ALWAYS heard that line as "and what the hell is that on Joey's neck?"
DeleteI mean, I guess I always thought that it was some, like, supremely dark foreshadowing of what that small growth would turn into, years down the road, as Joey failed to get it looked at despite the pleas from his friends and family, and it would be ignored for too tragically long as the cancer ate him from within.
I also pictured him as having one of these on his neck, for what it's worth. Which would certainly explain why Chad Kroeger felt the need to ask it with such alarm.
Ha!
DeleteThe best part is, in the video, as he shouts that line it shows the photograph in question. The thing on Johnny's head (according to the video): bunny ears from the guy next to him in the picture.
I'm 100% serious. Look at it on Youtube. It makes it 10x as hilarious.
Remember, this is songs I HATE, not "worst songs" or anything other than what it is specifically intended to be.
DeleteMy assessment- all of these songs are "bad", for sure. "Photograph" is sing-alongy comically awful, "How You..." is just straight obnoxious and sonically irritating, with no humorous quality whatsoever to its terribleness.
I know what you're saying, Skeevy. It's like how TX911 is a bad commenter, but I hate IMG.
DeleteSorry -- reverse that.
Delete@Uwebollocks @Mangini
DeleteThe line "And what the hell is on Joey's head?," so you're both deaf and wrong. There are no bunny ears. There is a horns sign, a thumbs up, and a "C" shape made with the other guy's hand. The thing on Joey's head looks like some type of black cloth.
Why you make me watch the video?
You know what makes me even angrier about Nickleback? They don't have to be as horrible as they are. They can be surprisingly competent musicians.
ReplyDeleteThis is a shockingly competent cover of ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man that I still struggle to believe is actually being played by Nickleback.
And if you want a little thing in your ying-yang
ReplyDeleteIf you want a little zing in your zang-zang
If you want a little ching in your chang-chang
Come along (Come along)
Ya we're coming to your city.
[passionately grooves along]
[optimistically extends middle finger to passing car]
[wonders why no one will stop]
Woooooooow. Regardless of political beliefs, this is pretty amazing.
ReplyDeleteIt's your boy!
DeleteAwwww, Marv.
ReplyDeleteWe're not enemies, we just disagree.
/hugs
Well we're not friends, are we? I've never had one of those. I don't trust the concept.
DeleteOrder of sporting event spectating enjoyment:
ReplyDelete1) Tennis Majors
2) March Madness
3) Ryder Cup
4) World Cup
5) NBA Playoffs
6) Golf Majors
7) NFL Playoffs
8) NHL Playoffs
9) MLB Playoffs
FIGHT ME
6,422) NCAA Bowl Games
Delete/sees no college football
Delete//sees NHL playoffs behind tennis, basketball, and golf
///fights SbV8
////refrains from cockpunching due to inclusion of World Cup
@Gamboa: If it helps, I struggled with the order for 7 and 8.
DeleteI would have struggled with those two, but at like 1 and 2, or 2 and 3. I have no idea what they're doing behind tennis, basketball, and golf. And, along with playoff hockey, college football is the best I-have-no-rooting-interest-in-either-team sport to watch. I can't fathom a list without it. At least there was no NASCAR.
DeleteYOU MUST LIKE THE SAME SPORTS AS ME OR YOU'RE A MORON!1!!1
Tennis and CFB are awful. This whole debate is a sham.
Delete"Interesting, I've never heard of Cincinnati chili! Oh, man, look, people are upset about this! I'll read these comments, I bet they're hilarious!" he said, while in Italy on his honeymoon, as he read a sports blog at midnight on Saturday.
ReplyDelete(and +1, Al)
DeleteBad news, re-purposing a crazy comment on a new post is EXHAUSTING. Good news, the dismiss button still works.
ReplyDeleteSingle most terrifying thing I've learned so far in medical school...basically everything you do and eat is going to give you cancer.
ReplyDeleteLike sugary or energy-dense foods? Cancer.
Don't consume a lot of veggies, fruits, whole grains and legumes? Cancer.
Like red meats or processed meats? Cancer.
Drink more than 2 drinks a day (male) or 1 drink a day (female)? Cancer.
Like salty foods or foods processed with salt? Cancer.
Take supplements your told will help prevent cancer? Doesn't work that way. Cancer.
We're all screwed.
Flip side: there are some truly ingenious methods of cancer treatment being fine-tuned. Case in point:
DeleteMalignant tumors often cause angiogenesis (blood vessel growth) to both keep themselves supplied with nutrients and to facilitate metastases. So that's obviously a step in cancer progression that medicine tries to inhibit.
The really crazy thing is that they're finding some treatments work best when interspersed with very, very carefully timed promoters of angiogenesis. You can actually balance them so that you trigger more growth of blood vessels into a tumor along with tissue-specific directed treatment with chemotherapeutic agents. So you make it easier for a tumor to get nutrients and spread and then immediately use that newly improved nutrient delivery system to zap the this out of it. Lets you maximize chemo efficiency while hopefully minimizing the brutal side-effects.
That blows my mind.
You don't say?
Delete@SvV8
DeleteCool. I read some time back that researchers were working on ways to inhibit these blood vessels in order to starve the tumors. First time I've seen this approach. The more weapons available to the docs, the better.