Thursday, September 13, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE-Day 4 (September 13, 2012)

So, I'm still eagerly awaiting my first selection that is met with vehement dissent. Don't hold back. Your fury fuels me.

HOWEVA, I don't suspect this will be it, but I need to get it over with early, for reasons that will be made clear in the weeks to come. Or will this be it??? Clearly, some people like it. It won a Grammy, after all. IT FUCKING WON A GRAMMY! Sorry, that just sunk in again.

This musical pustule is like that repulsive hookup of your friend's; the one that he keeps trying to justify his attraction to by desperately positing compromising scenarios in a futile attempt to sell you on her appeal.
Friend: "You don't think she's hot at all?"
Marv:   "No."
Friend: "You don't even think she has great tits?"
Marv:   "No." 
Friend: "So you're trying to tell me you wouldn't do her?" 
Marv:  "Yes, I am."
Friend: "Not even if you were like, all fucked up at a party, and she came up to you and shit?"
Marv:   "Go away."
These are presented in no particular order, I swear, but I can't imagine a more visceral HATE than I feel for this one. Stay tuned to see if I can summon it up. As for now, I'm absolutely fuming over the mere act of simply typing the necessary keys to pull up this turd. Never...again.

I suffer for you. Make it worth my while. It's open.








30 comments:

  1. Marv I can tell by the tone of your post and your blatant smear campaign against this iconic hip-hop masterpiece, that you clearly have a personal vendetta against the legendary rapper/box office dynamo Will Smith. I am not even going to waste my time defending this amazing track. So tell me, what exactly has you so jealous of Mr. Smith, is it his floor seats at the Lakers, the fact that he looks so cool with an unlit cigar in his mouth, or is it simply that Ali flat out ADMITTED that Will Smith was the greatest?

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  2. The Amazing SneijdermanSeptember 13, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    Ahhh, Marv, very clever. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and you couch your criticism in hyperbole to demonstrate your true love of the OG Fresh Prince.

    Much like the Caribbean Seas are not 500 degrees, nor is Jim West a true desperado in the Eagles sense, Gettin' Jiggy With It is not, in fact, a target of your 50 days of hate.

    Well done, good sir. Touche.

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  3. HAVE YOU EVER BEATEN THE ALIENS AND A ROBOT SPIDER AND SUICIDE THOUGHTS NO I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. I beat one out of the three while writing this post.

      Delete
    2. Well I'm pretty sure you beat out something this morning, Marv. Probably two or three times.

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    3. Are you sure about that, Marv? I mean, are you really sure?

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  4. Will Smith made one good song in his life. This is not it.

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    Replies
    1. If you're thinking "Summertime", then this marks the first time that we've ever agreed on anything.

      If you're thinking "A Nightmare On My Street", then God have mercy on your lifeless soul.

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    2. Of course Summertime. I was going to link it, then got lazy, then figured I'd see if anyone had some reason to think it was anything else.

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    3. I'd say this kind of summertime is more your speed, Phin.

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    4. Sonofabitch! I told you that in confidence.

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  5. Replies
    1. I liked it.

      SAMESADECHO ROCKS OUT TO JETHRO TULL!1!!

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  6. Grammy awards are just NARAS' version of a participation ribbons. At this point, they only get props for the artists to whom they've not given an award. Given that, I'd like to the thank them for not nominating and/or awarding a Grammy to Limp Bizkit,

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  7. Reading the story about Sports Center Theme Guy got me thinking about an episode from my childhood.

    I was in sixth grade. In my school, there were only 1281 people, but to me it was the whole world. I had just moved to a new town and was trying to adjust to the realities of being the new kid when I heard two classmated singing together. I didn't catch what they were humming, but distinctly heard the climax of "Dah dah dah, dah dah dah".

    "Yeah!" I said as I popped my head between them on my way to the pencil sharpener. "Dah dah dah, dah dah dah. Dah dah dah. Dah dah dah. Dah dah da dah-na na na na na na na". They looked confused. "That's Unsung by Helmet!" I exclaimed, excited to find fellows who shared a common thread of kick-the-fuck-ass music. They retorted with, "What's Helmet? You're weird."

    This pretty much sums up my entire existance.

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    Replies
    1. I heard "Unsung" on XM yesterday.

      Coinkydink!

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    2. Your story validates my theory: Most middle schoolers are assholes.

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    3. First off, you only had 1281 people in your school? Huh?

      I don't think I had that many people in my entire school system.

      I heard "Unsung" on XM yesterday too, but that's because I was hiding in Gamboa's trunk. Hey, it's better than paying for XM myself.

      Delete
  8. I have stated on several occasions that I know nothing about music. Really, I'm very dense when comes to these matters.

    However, these videos make me think of Sublime, a band I used to like in HS. I always thought they were cool - and made me feel like I was bad ass when I was listening to them (I soooo wasn't). I know the lead singer died, but has their music aged well? Would I be ridiculed if I downloaded their music onto my computer?

    I just have no idea.

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    Replies
    1. Ridiculed? No way...me and my boys love that shit!

      Delete
    2. I say as an unabashed Sublime defender that their music has held up incredibly well, while their fans have just plunged off the face of the earth.

      I can see by the Guy Who responses that the stereotype of the Sublime-loving puka-shell-wearing bro-dap Sublime fan has not lost it's momentum. But believe me when I tell you that everything Brad Nowell sang about, stood for and lived as, is the complete opposite of the dudebros in the pic above.

      The one thing I hate more than anyting is when somebody hears a little reagge diddy, they immediately say, "oh, that sounds like Sublime!" No. Not really. The most agregious of these crimes is that fucking Bruno Mars song Today I don't feel like doing anyting... in which he paints a lovely picture of watching TV all day because :) WE'RE HAVING FUN!! I heard somebody say that they liked that song because it sounds like Sublime.

      Dude, Sublime actually had a song about staying in bed all day. It's called Burritos and it's not about being cute and fun and happy, it's about soul-crippling depression and being a fucking junkie strung out on low-rent dope because you're a fucking useless fuck of a human being, which is what Brad Nowell was at that point. And that's the running theme of most of Sublime's music. It's incredibly introspective and deep and sad and depressing and fucking futile, and it's wasted on the biggest dipshit segment of the population who think it's cool to shout If it wasn't for Date Rape, I'd never get laid

      /throws on 40 Oz

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    3. FWIW, yes I feel Sublime's work has held up very well.

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  9. I do take some umbrage with your choice of this song as something to hate. It's got a great beat, happy and fun words (lyrics, whatever!) and Will Smith is one of the more likable black men in America. I find this to be in poor taste and will report this blog to the Internet authorities. Good day.

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  10. Let me be clear, I just thought those dudes from the other Guy Who picture were poppin. I have no real opinion on Sublime one way or another.

    Now, back to Avatar! WHOA POPPIN

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    Replies
    1. Hey! I was trying to respond to those Sublime people! Can we get this site in 3D already??

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