Wednesday, September 19, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 9 (September 19, 2012)

Here lies Music. It had a good run. It will be missed.

It's open.


  1. Um, waitress? Can I get that order of brain-damage-music with extra minstrelsy? Thanks... there's a fat 5% tip waiting for you if you hustle!

  2. Anyone finding it a tad ironic how Barry is disparaging the comment section in the Lebron Shoes Killer post? "Mods ... they do exist!" That would have played perfectly about 6 months ago.

    1. I was arrested for arson when I commented over there anonymously.

    2. You guys need some fuckin' help around here?

    3. It's a order of magnitude issue; they're a cesspool, Deadspin is little more than a cesspuddle.

  3. (Everyone Here Is) GoneSeptember 19, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    I'm ahead of my time, sometimes years out,
    So the ninjas and Skeev won't let me get my ideas out,
    And that make me wanna get my rants out,
    And move to Jez or Gawker and just comment like I shout!!!

    Yeah, I romance the thought of leaving it all behind,
    This Guy step away from the lime-
    -light, like, when I was not online,
    In the 1-9-9-9.

    Before, Uwe B was joking one-ball, and,
    IMG asked me Kruk or Armstrong, man,
    If I could just get one pull on MBA,
    I could get out of this cheap-ass grey.

    Comment problems on DS coming up on a year-old,
    More ads is Denton’s job, and now his soul has been sold.
    My dog was a ninja back when they was plural
    Now two years later, and all of them disappear-o.

    Sometimes I can't believe it when I look up in the mirr-o,
    How we now in Kinja, with these zeros.
    They claim you never know what you got 'til it's gone
    And we ain’t got it, but the worst is y'all gone

    I'mma open up a store for aspiring young mes,
    Won't sell 'em no dream, but the inspiration is free
    But if they ever flip sides like Tom and Sean,
    You'll +1 everything, includin’ the shit from Bronze,
    They got a new bitch, now you TX911, dog.

    Hold on I'll handle it, don't start panickin, join DUAN,
    Burners at the door cause they need more
    Inspiration for they jokes, they Firsts!1!!1, and they wrongs,
    They said sorry but our best is gone!

    1. Mantis Toboggan, M.D.September 19, 2012 at 11:50 AM

      I love you, whoever you are.

    2. Goddamn, this is beautiful.

    3. I like it, until the part about me. Then I either love it or hate it -- not sure?

  4. I did some soul searching yesterday (came up empty) and I thought to myself perhaps this musical debate between Marv and I is causing too great a strain on our friendship​. So I decided I would extend a peace offering to Marv in the form of one of my world famous homemade deep-dish strawberry rhubarb pies. As the pie was cooling and almost ready to put in the box I suddenly became very sad. I thought back on our quibble over certain indisputab​le musical masterpiec​es and it suddenly dawned on me - Marv would be unable to enjoy my delicious pie because he was clearly born without the sense of taste. So as I sit here and enjoy the last of my pie, I think back on your inability to appreciate great music and can only do one thing, LMFAO!

  5. For the Tarell Brown post-

    Here is a screenshots of the site, for when it is inevitably lost to us:

  6. Disagree with my tactics if you like, but I thought this guy's defense of his use of a Burner account was worth perusing:

    1. Publius? What sort of name is that? I don't even want to read this so-called Federalist Paper! He should log on to and register his phony-baloney pseudonym like everyone else! Then he'd have ye olde avatare!

    2. You are insane.
      But more to your point, you are insane.
      I call you insane because you're insane. And when I say insane, I mean a hypocritical, self-important asshole.
      Otherwise, you're just a fucking asshole.

      Geesh, I dunno BH, the guy makes some valid points.

    3. @Guy

      An anonymous troll defending an anonymous troll's defense of anonymous trolls? Who would've guessed?

      @Poignant Theater (down below)

      Really glad somebody grabbed that. In all seriousness, if you're going to "promote" comments, I absolutely should be behind the editors and luminaries, etc. But the way it sort of defeats the whole purpose of the exercise has to be marveled at.

    4. I think it was sort of contemporaneous mutual ownage. A 69 of ownage, if you like.

    5. @ BH, yes, the fact that the old system of public stars was just soooo bad, and yet has been replaced by a secret system of (I'm guessing) manually-controlled stars is hilarious. It is at best a clumsy hack to get the results they thought some stupid computer program would get them (and it didn't), and at worst, a byzantine mask over a fiasco of a system, a mask which is essentially an admission that it, as originally envisioned and jammed up our asses, doesn't work. Lovely.

      Was the tradeoff of Gladwell popping in to say "Nope, my piece is fine, you stink Cosentino" worth the day-to-day shitstorm of idiotic and hostile comments that have made a once-unique place entirely unmemorable? Are we on the wrong end of some 3/5ths compromise?

    6. @Bronzy (Hi, UEA-ey!), Poignant Theater and "Guy... see."

      Now Hickey has deleted his tweet. Between that and Leitch deleting his last night, this is turning into quite the fiasco. Maybe, if they delete enough accidental admissions of the 5-star ranking system that's currently being hidden behind the curtain, we will all forget that it exists!

  7. Worse: getting no replies at all or getting tons o' love from only Burners? I say the latter, because it means you made a terribly obvious joke.

    1. Terribly obvious joke?

      I thought you liked Raysism's in the Kentucky post?


    2. That's funny you say that, because I thought about typing +1 (low hanging fruit). But that seems like something Dubai would do, so I didn't.

      I thought the way he worded it worked with the punchline (however obvious it may seem).

    3. I'm a (grudging) Ray fan, but that was burner-level easy. Plus, that part of the country is filled with beauties.

      However, my days of noteworthy contributions are over, so I shouldn't be saying shit. I just couldn't resist, given your post above, and how much higher Ray's bar is set than that. His comment on this here balog yesterday was beautifully simple, and genuinely one of my favorites in a long while.

    4. Well BronzeHammer, looks like you are approximately 2 stars below the burner Malcolm Gladwell status and 1 star below Leitch. Granted, that means a lot less when you realize that Mike1283 has 2 star status.

    5. In my defense, I didn't realize how obvious that joke was until every other idiot used it after me -- I've probably only heard the phrase uttered a handful of times. Then I regretted making it.

      At least I redeemed myself with a direct nutshot to SBV8.

    6. See, I wouldn't have gotten it if you didn't explain it here (Twitter!), but yes. That's the Ray we know and hate. Good work.

      Seriously, your balog comment yesterday was phenomenal. If comments were Kentucky coeds, I would have pitched a tent.

    7. @GC: Thanks. You hate me, you really, really hate me!

    8. La-dee-fucking-da. Look who would refuse a blowjob from a transvestite. A +1 is a +1.

    9. "A +1 is a +1!"

      -Me, showing up at a wedding with my Reginald VelJohnson Fathead

    10. But that seems like something Dubai would do, so I didn't.

      When have I done something like that? In the past I've poked fun at bad burner accounts and idiots at Gawker, but never said the equivalent of "that wasn't funny" to a named commenter at Deadspin.

      Seriously, if my rep here is that I randomly attack people, that sucks. I have fun towel-snapping Raysism and Phintastic among others because they are old family guys like me, but I think both know it is out of admiration.

    11. @Dubai

      You are an overly sensitive asshole. You had a shitty day, so are in a whiny mood? Join the fucking club. Toughen up you God-damn crazy person.

      [Note: Avoid Internet when on a 48-hour shift]

      [Note 2: Avoid 48-hour shifts]

      [Note 3: Quit your fucking job to enable Note 2]

    12. Dude, don't worry about.

      We're cool.

  8. Universal Enveloping AlgebraSeptember 19, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    Can we stop calling BronzeHammer "Bronzie"? Call him "Bronze" or "Hammer" or "Mr. Hammer" or, shit, "BronzeHammer." Because when you call him "Bronzie," it sounds like a pet name, and that sounds like you're fucking him, or he's fucking you, or you're drinking wine coolers and getting oiled up and fucking each other in a mutual sort of way, and that makes me super jealous and bonered up in the middle of this seminar I'm speaking at currently, this very moment, and they're all staring at me and wondering what the fuck I'm typing in silence and whether this massive erection in my pants is indeed an erection or maybe just my jeans being weird, and it's all you guys's fault.

    1. So, to be clear, you think that the sexual tension would be lessened by us calling him "Mr. Hammer"?

      / +1

    2. Damn son your jeans are weird as hell for real though.

    3. I like "Bronzie" because it rhymes with Fonzie. I've always pictured the BurnishedCudgel as a guy with a fetish for women who sport 50's fashion and 70's hair styles.

    4. That's a fetish? I thought it was just part of havin' a wiener.

    5. Only when he hits jukeboxes, they fix him.

      /Twiddles Rollie Fingers mustachio between roll-y fingers
      //Sips Nerve Tonic-Lime Rickey

  9. Guys- LOTS of links in that last piece. Well done. BECAUSE IT'S HAPPY HOUR OVER AT DUFFY'S!!! First round's on me. Remember, take at least 30 minutes between shots.