Tuesday, October 30, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 43 (October 30, 2012)

I guess the technical diffrugalgies of that other nightly craproom weren't reason enough to partake in a rousing MKMUAN sesh. I just don't know what you people want anymore. Regardless, balog analytics tell me that we have 6 readers who reside along the Eastern Seaboard, and I hope each and every one of you are hunkered down safely. With internet access. I know I won't be letting some storm that sounds like a mischievous Brady Bunch guest character stop me from carrying out my important duties. And so, on we go.

If this song didn't serve as the annoying Pavlovian signal to scramble for my remote control, it would still be a rightful target for HATE. For it stands firmly on its own (pile of shit). But, as a great man who had the misfortune of a loose association with it once famously said, "It doesn't help." According to my unquestionable sources, this turd was actually co-written by the producers of the terrible show it represented, which makes them responsible for TWO unspeakable crimes against humanity. Yet they roam free. I don't really have to go over the lyrics, do I? (Coincidentally- that was the exact response of the primary songwriter when revisions were suggested prior to recording.) This vapid atrocity somehow reached number one on the U.S. Top 40 Mainstream and Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks charts. Could it be a better musical reflection of the show's audience??? Amiwhite???

Remember, the 50 days actually ends on Halloween. So the HATE is over after tomorrow. Well, this particular HATE anyway. Please try to contain your disappointment. I'll find something new for you all to not read.

The balog may be stuck in second gear, but at least it's open.




20 comments:

  1. Sure, why not. I've only been up since 5:00 refreshing SI.com in a futile effort to find a non-formulaic story. In other news, it was only a couple weeks ago that MKM Ultimate Bastard overtook MKM Ultimate Bike for Sale in my google autocomplete. Good morning.

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  2. You guys notice anything different? Should we slow down?

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  3. Mayor Bloomingdale insists, Don't call 911 unless it is a life-threatening Deadspin outage.

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    Replies
    1. I just thank the Lord that New York's the only city affected by this unusually small and focused storm (according to news reports).

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    2. "I just thank the Lord that New York's the only city."

      Me, too. It would be horrible if there were other places. Just awful.

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  4. Hurricane Sandy? What is that like a big dust storm or somethin?

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  5. Question: Was I the only Caucasian male between the ages of 18 and 30 who never watched Seinfeld or Friends in the 90's? It's not that I thought they sucked, I just was never interested enough in either show to take the time to find out if they sucked or not.

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    Replies
    1. The only excuse for not watching Seinfeld is being paralyzed and not having a remote control, therefore risking exposure to Friends.

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    2. Seinfeld and the X-Files were two shows that my family watched as a unit. I used so many Seinfeld references during a class a couple of years ago that one of my students listed my love of the show as one of his main takeaways.

      Delete
  6. It seems like Deadspin is nearly unreadable without a comments section. Is it just me?

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    Replies
    1. Quite the opposite...I like the clean, click free layout where I can breeze through the entire site in like 35 seconds, leaving me with way more time to work on those pesky "on-line" crosswords.

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  7. So you promise 50 days of hate, but not 50 songs of hate. Pretty fucking deceptive, if you ask me. 50 days and 44 songs. What a cop out. You're a pussy, Marv. Deal with it.

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    Replies
    1. I delivered what I promised. Suck it.

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    2. And by "it," I mean a delicious Tootsie Pop. Preferably the brown kind. They're way better than Dum-dums. And don't even get me started on Smarties.

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    3. Tootsie Pops are great. It's like, oh man, here's some good candy. Wonder what happens when I keep nibblin' on this bad boy? Oh. It's a smelly turd in the middle. Cool.

      Thanks, Tootsie Roll Pop. You're the balut of candy.

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    4. TP's are still way better than Blow Pops. I mean, you go through all that licking, only to be left with the world's shittiest piece of gum, one that requires more work for you to "enjoy" it? Fuck you, Charms. Fuck you hard.

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  8. Great story off of Yahoo!TV yesterday: http://tv.yahoo.com/news/-friends--creators--matt-leblanc-surprised-us-with-how-well-he-could-play-dumb--exclusive-video-.html

    How YOU doin', Marv?

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    Replies
    1. It hasn't been my day, my week, my month, or even my year!1!!1!

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  9. Y'all claim to be grown ass men, but you all are a big ass bunch of whiny ass bitches. Twitter doesn't make you any cooler.

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