Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Balog Reignition: In Re Peacock

Skeevy here.

This malicious Tweet has been brought to my attention by an old friend, and I've found myself inspired to puke out a page again.

I spoke to Gamboa and he has assured me that he specifically stopped short of the word HATE when stating his opinion of said remix, but merely offered that it was not one of Mr. Kelly's better songs and he did not enjoy it, and also that Mr. Peacock is a noted troll who is unnecessarily obsessed with "bulk" when it comes to his physique and also has been photographed sipping a Mangorita and inexplicably proffers that there is a letter T at the end of the common expression "oof" but mostly that it was not a great song, is what Gamboa stayed focused on.

As a renowned music critic, I feel compelled to defend my handsome friend GC, here. As always, the caveat here is that arguing over music should never be considered anything more than an exercise in silly fun, provided that the combatants are being honest to themselves and their own ears rather than trying to like something because they're "supposed to". Music is sensory; it's really no different than food. "My ears do not find that sound pleasurable" should really be the only criteria.

But hey, it's fun to elaborate! So let's try! As you all surely remember, it's been noted here previously that I tend to respond negatively to "catchy"/"gimmicky" songs, and this one fits within my parameters of that subjective genre. What is it, other than that? The beat is "meh", the lyrics are atrocious, the vocals are forgettable to damn near nonexistent. It is a "party jam", I suppose. But why is it THE party jam? Mr. Peacock referred to it, and I quote, as "one of the best songs of the 2000s, easily." When mh stopped s ing, I thought of some reasonable categorical compares. Off the top of my head, I'll take Next's "Too Close" (not 2000s, I know, not important), Jagged Edge's "Where The Party At", and even Mr. Kelly himself's "Fiesta (remix)" over "Ignition", and it's not even close. Better beats, better vocals, less reliance on the catchy/gimmicky crutch. My ears like them better, and for that I will not apologize.

Also important to this discussion is the concept of oversaturation, which is arguably the number one enemy of a smash hit. I may have liked this song at one time, I honestly cannot remember. But if I did, I couldn't possibly anymore. It has been played in my presence approximately 59, 612 times, +/- 3,498. It belongs on the impossibly long list with tunes like "Regulate", "Hypnotize", "Gangster's Paradise", "Waterfalls", "Ms. Jackson", etc etc that I simply don't need to hear again. Ever. That's the fate of so many tunes, in an era where FM radio was still relevant, music television stations were playing music, and I had a misguided foray into social interaction. Only the extreme upper-echelon of tunes can avoid this death by omnipresence, and "Africa"s don't grow on trees, people.

"Your Body's Callin", "You Remind Me...", "Can't Sleep...",  "Down Low", that's my R. Kelly. "Ignition", to me, is closer to "Trapped in the Closet" R. Kelly, and "Trapped in the Closet" is an inarguable crime against humanity. In summary, GC was (predictably) spot-on in denouncing this song's "greatness". I should also note, however that he did not particularly contest the allegation of being born without a soul. Not sure what to make of that, tbh.


  1. Snapping turtles can bit a broomstick in two. Can you?


  3. Replies
    1. Didn't you learn anything from your 50 Days of Hate?

  4. I agree with Eric on everything.

    Also, has anyone seen Gamboa and Marv in the same room? I've even spent an entire day hanging out near the local playground. Just saying.

  5. Guy who needs more twitter followersNovember 10, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    these 'pay for followers' schemes are absurd. If i buy 1000 followers, you'll notice. Why can't I buy 12?