Monday, June 18, 2012

MKMOT (June 18, 2012)

My Dad is an impossibly good man, to the point where I'm equal parts blessed and intimidated, the latter through absolutely no fault of his own.

Here's what I wrote to him because I'm a huge pussy who is incapable of expressing my emotions told him yesterday:

I'm not even close to having life figured out, and don't know if or when I will be, but it's definitely not for lack of a great role model. Thanks for being that, and for your endless patience.

I hope you all are so fortunate, and much better than me at expressing it. This is not funny. Which is not to say I usually am. Fuck it. Here's a song that has nothing to do with any of this, other than greatness. Write whatever you see fit below, and I'll return to my usual assholery tomorrow. It's open.


  1. Father of Marv,
    Tell me what have you done.
    You know I just closed my eyes
    And IMG, he was gone.

    Father of Marv,
    Take me back to the day,
    Yeah, when CJ was the golden boy
    Back before he went away.

  2. Home for the holidays
    I believe I’ve missed each and every face
    Come on and play one easy
    Let’s turn on every love light in the place
    It’s time I found myself totally surrounded in your
    Oh, my friends

  3. [Walks in room]
    [Looks at Everpink]
    [Looks at Baloggins]
    [Stares down Baloggins]

    You thought you could do this without me? DJ, spin that shit.


    To all the readers in the place with style and grace
    Allow me to aim these lyrics right though ya, give 'em to ya
    Powwow soon, see it through, we're with ya Tommy.
    Starville was our club, haven't left yet, it's where you'll find me
    Starville was our club, no one knows, when we all must leave
    Mad Bastards' back and, praise passing, dud blasting
    But I just can't quit
    Because one of these roundups Baloggy could be featured
    Need to, keep my handle secret, why not?
    Why blow up my spot cause you know I'd stop.
    Now check it, I get my laughs from jokes all through my head
    For me it's easy, I've rapped enough but you still need me
    No need to be greedy I got mad friends, fuck Denton
    Comments by the layers, true fuckin players
    Just be a soldier, jokes on order
    tell your friends, +1 for you and me, they give us praise so naturally.

    I love it when you call me Big Balog-ga
    Throw plus-ones in the air, if you's a true player
    I love it when you call me Big Balog-ga
    To the homies bein' funny makin jokes up, not dummies
    I love it when you call me Big Balog-ga
    If your havin' fun, no time to waste, make jokes, now go with haste
    Cause I need some some laughter tonight, Deadspin has made us all crazy

    /drops mic

    1. The Other Guy (Non Baloggins Division)June 18, 2012 at 12:31 PM


  4. Hey, MS, beautiful post. You've justified my faith in you to run this gag balog that I had long since abandoned. You can be my father any day.

  5. Hey Stevie, I'm talkin' to you and no one else.
    I just want you to know,
    That I'll [cum], Steve U.

    If you [+1] me, I will [cum], Steve U
    If you [+1] me, I will [cum], Steve U
    If you [+1] me, I will [cum], Steve U
    If you [+1] me, I will [cum], Steve U

    Well excuse me, let me let you know the time,
    On how I feel and why Drew's the worst.
    It's you that I want to be in my replies,
    And if it's possible you will be my first.

    I lead you in the right direction, of course,
    Make a sweet but tight joke about physics laws.
    I'll [heart] you, big daddy, just wait and see,
    And don't give no more [+1]s to that IMG.

    If you [+1] me, I will [cum], Steve U.

  6. I was just about to go to sleep after an insanely long day (folks, don't let the father's day crap fool you - kids suck the life out of you all day, then wake you back up at 5am for round 2), when I clicked refresh to find probably the best two back-to-back posts I've ever seen on Deadspin.

    I'm not sullying either one with my lame comments.

    I can sleep now in peace (and will strangle whichever kid decides that he/she needs help getting to the potty in 5 hours).

    Godspeed Deadspin.

  7. Replies
    1. What the fuck???

    2. Ha! Raysism made his joke after I posted it here, so I'm just talking about the starring. But anyway, that entitles me to 50% of Raysism's +1s on the joke, so big shout out to Ray!!