Friday, October 12, 2012

MKMOT/50 Days of HATE- Day 29 (October 12, 2012)

Does anyone have a balog to plug??? I won't allow that. But if you have a blog to plug, that's pretty much what I'm here for. There's going to be a giant space below this video of a song I HATE (and holy shit, do I ever HATE it), where pretty much  anything goes. I'm not one to tell anyone what to do, but methinks a wise usage of said space would be to remind our 12 readers that there might be other places on the Googlenet where the writeups are actually about something. Now, I can't guarantee that the comment sections on such sites will maintain the same level of quality control, but it's worth a shot, no??? Let's find a spot worthy of our eyeballs and commentary. List your suggestions below. I'll meet you over there. I can only hope that when we get there, it's open.




50 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You and Bronzino and Hammerclaw are, like, totally going to be wearing matching HTFE-company-logo polos everywhere now, aren't you?

      Delete
    2. The sky's the limit after we pay back this unsecured $50,000 short-term variable interest loan from Not The Mob Credit Union.

      Delete
    3. Huh. Hadn't heard of that.

      HTFE? More like GTFO, amirite???

      Delete
  2. TRUE FACT: My wife actually introduced my earworm-prone toddler to this song the other day, and the kid's been singing it to herself on and off since Tuesday. I've been trying to figure out a proper way to thank Mrs. Favorites-- tampering with her brakes seems a little extreme, but farting in her face seems a little mild. Suggestions?

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  3. I am so glad we have people like Darth Kahuna to keep the comment section subtle and unsubtle.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bay-log preaches fiscal conservatism, from the pulpit of an $18000 desk in the Hungarian consulate. An $18000 desk in the Hungarian consulate???

    Sounds like a bunch of goulash to me.

    Vote Ball-log on October 12th.

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  5. Buh-log claims education is his top priority, but do we really want our children's futures in the hands of someone who can't even pronounce his own name???

    Buh-log??? Sounds like a bunch of buh-loney to me.

    Vote Ball-log on October 12th.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 48 comments!? Shit, better scan through and see if something interesting was said. Sorry bub, this is it. All you get. I had absolutely nothing to add of value but you're still here reading. Not that what we normally do on here is anything but a waste of time...but seriously...this is worse. Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  6. What the hell? Why wasn't I invited to the debate?

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  7. /Shoots Self spends a lot of time talking about offering everyone an easy way out. The only problem- who is left to clean up the mess???

    /Shoots Self??? Sounds like Gore all over again to me.

    Vote Ball-log on October 12th.

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  8. Replies
    1. It kind of has to be buh-log or bee-log, given that it comes from people who pronounced as a b-sound and then "log," right? And bee-log is just dumb.

      Delete
    2. Exactly. Say it out loud "blog." Now imagine someone's out of touch mother telling him to stop messing around with that "balog" and come to dinner. She would 100%, no question, without a fucking doubt say buh-log. Just like "baloney" or "buh-low me"

      Delete
  9. I used to like Train. They are still the only opening act I've ever seen that inspired me to buy their CD. This was after their first CD came out and before Meet Virginia hit the airwaves and got overplayed.
    They were a really good act and I still enjoy that CD. I don't know how the fuck it all went wrong after that.
    Hey, Soul Sister makes me want to bash Patrick Monahan in the face with a size 10 Doc Marten while screaming "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?"

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    Replies
    1. I certainly don't like them, but on the whole they are not as bad as this song would indicate. Because that would be impossible. Because I'm starting to realize that this may very well be the worst song in the history of recorded music. And therefore, naturally, a colossal, inescapable hit.

      Delete
    2. With all due respect, Cheap Beer... "Meet Virginia?" You mean, the song that features lyrics like

      Smokes a pack a day, but wait,
      That's me, but anyway


      AND

      She never compromises,
      Loves babies and surprises,
      Wears high heels when
      She exercises


      AND

      Daddy wrestles alligators
      Mama works on carburators
      Her brother is a fine mediator
      For the president


      This, by the way, is about as GOOD as their lyrics get; "Soul Sister" is more representative of the makes-Noel-Gallagher-feel-EVEN-BETTER-about-himself quality of their ouevre. Meanwhile, the melodies are lowest-common-denominator catchy swill, churned out in group sessions with hack producers and ripping the likes of Smash Mouth.

      This is Mom music.

      No, actually, it's worse. It's SHITTY mom music, made by people who-- if the dumb-middle-aged-lady-bait lyrics are any indication-- think pretty poorly of moms. Liking Train isn't something you still do, unless you're doing so while having your afternoon chamomile before slipping your Mom jeans back on and taking the Yukon to pick up your shitty, shitty kids; it's something you move past, and never NEVER talk about.

      Delete
    3. Man, I promise I do no research for these (hard to believe), so I hadn't seen that link before. It's great. The singer's quote about Burning Man just slays me.

      Delete
    4. With all due respect Mr. Favorites, I'm telling your mom what a big meanie you are. She's not going to be pleased with your skewering of her favorite band.

      Delete
    5. Two things:

      1. Holy shit, those are really lyrics from "Meet Virginia"?

      2. There's no way that Godsmack song on the Villiage Voice list is a real thing. Theres' just no fucking way.

      Delete
    6. That one has you in disbelief??? Did you see #12?

      Delete
    7. POP QUIZ: Pick the fake Train lyric.

      A. Upside of a downward spiral
      My love for you went viral


      B. Tell me
      Do you think I'm not a Snicker bar
      Nutty about the way you are
      Saw your smile, I almost died
      You keep me so... satisfied


      C. Now that she's back from that soul vacation
      Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
      She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
      Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, hey


      D. While everybody else is getting out of bed, I'm usually getting in it
      I'm not in it to win it
      And there's a thousand ways you can skin it


      E. My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
      I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna
      And I'm always gonna wanna
      Blow your... mind

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    8. As much as I don't want this to be the correct answer, I'm going with "B".

      Delete
    9. StF, can we at least agree on the need to bash Patrick Monohan with my size 10 Doc Marten (my brown Oxfords, as they have more tread left to leave a mark) regardless of motivation? Does it really matter whether it's because I used to like them 13 years ago, or you never have?

      Delete
    10. "Uwe nailed it."

      -One of 13 coeds recovered from a suburban crawlspace in 1998, talking about why they couldn't free themselves sooner

      Delete
  10. I believe "buh-log of yours" is how the out-of-touch say it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. 4 more comments and this post will have more comments than last night's DUAN! We can do this people, WE. CAN. DO. IT.

    Seriously, that place is deader than a dead guy, amirite?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ukulele [check]
    V-neck tee [check]
    Floating powerful lyrics [check]

    Well it nails all 3 characteristics I look for in a smash hit. Listen Marv (just kidding I know you can’t listen), sometimes you need to unwind with a Starbucks frappuccino and some of your closest friends to talk about how good the RHONJ reunion show was last night (ughhh Teresa!), and there is no tune that provides better background noise than this one. This song is like comfort food for your ears. It makes you want to slip on some sweats, put your hair up in a bun and just veg out. I don’t need all my music to carry heavy messages or have diverse arrangements with strong vocals and mind-blowing instrumentals. Sometimes I just want to wake up at noon and eat cold pizza right out of the fridge while I try to piece together last night’s events with my girls and pick vomit out of my hair. Just like I didn’t care who I brought home last night, I don’t care what I’m listening to – I just know that it feels good and that I won’t remember its name the second that it’s over.

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  13. What is SteveU's Nick Saban joke all about. I usually get these things, but I'm temporarily suffering from transient retardation.

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    Replies
    1. Well, an 8,500 sf house that is 8,500 cf in volume would by definition be 1 foot tall. What kind of person would live in a 1 foot tall house?

      Delete
    2. Guy Who Needs to Learn More College SportsOctober 12, 2012 at 5:35 PM

      I actually read the "purpose-built" part and thought it was about whichever coach had sex on the floor of a restaurant. But that wasn't Saban, was it?

      Delete
  14. NOPE DEFINITELY NOT ME. Nobody said anything, did they?

    ReplyDelete
  15. If you wanted to, for some reason, disavow yourself of the slim hope that The Man Upstairs had seen or been convinced of the truly awful, broken nature of his comment revolution, you could check this thread out for a hot minute:

    http://gawker.com/5950981/unmasking-reddits-violentacrez-the-biggest-troll-on-the-web?post=53479145

    ReplyDelete