Top Ten Little Known Perks To Winning The Republican Presidential Nomination
10. Can use campaign funds to finally pimp out MySpace page the way you've always wanted to.
9. Chance to make cameo in next Final Destination sequel.
8. Front of the line privileges at participating Cheesecake Factories.
7. SuperPAC can use unlimited funds to reunite Lords of Acid.
6. Dick Armey gives amazing back rubs.
5. Campaign issued Blackberry comes loaded with sudoku and tic tac toe.
4. Delivering the party's keynote address on national television is an incredible opportunity to secure that Golden Palace endorsement.
3. Obama almost always offers a heartfelt pat on the backside after demolishing you in the debate.
2. MKM will make hilarious intelligent jokes about you on Deadspin -- ohmigod, he totally knows you exist!
1. Toby Keith endorsement song: not Red Solo Cup!
Somehow I found my way here. I'm still enjoying what you've got going on here.
ReplyDeleteI also like that you posted an entry making it seem like you wouldn't be around for a while, and then immediately posted two new things. You are too dedicated to this blog.
It's more than I am too undedicated to everything else in my life.
DeleteWHICH SSE ARE YOU
Delete11. Get to accept nomination in a three-piece suit in Tampa in August.
ReplyDelete