Friday, August 17, 2012

MKMOT (August 17, 2012)

Hangover's gone! The correct answer was... time. Who knew?

Welp, guess what came on when I was in the gym tonight? Worlds- colliding! Fortunately I was able to drown out that embarrassing noise with my usual emphatic, primal grunting. Then I emerged from the bathroom and lifted some weights!

Push out your max effort underneath this lovely tune. It's open.




91 comments:

  1. The race for Deadspin Commenter of the Year has already been talked about enough.

    Who ya got for MKMUB Commenter Of The Year?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't fight it
      Don't fight it
      Don't fight it
      It'll do your heart so good
      Don't fight it
      Don't fight it
      Don't fight it
      It'll only do you good

      Delete
    2. [Looks at Kenny]
      [Raises shirt to reveal .40 Glock]

      Delete
    3. This guy.

      MKMUB hasn't been the same since they changed the commenting system.

      Delete
    4. I'll say.

      Now people understand the importance of funny pic links with their aliases/Guy Whos!

      Delete
  2. Kinja just go down for anyone else?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't talk about it much, but I don't think it's a secret that I haven't been the biggest fan of things lately.

    HOWEVA, there's some good work being done so far today. Most notably, for me, Poignant Theater in the Estonia post. That should have gotten way more dap. Good hustle.

    Positivity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, thanks for marketing campaign. Came back from lunch to a generous helping of replies. There is some good stuff going on today. I credit Steve U for getting the ball rolling with that killer Deep Blue joke this morning.

      Delete
  4. I'm back! Critics be damned.

    Speaking of which, don't let them ruin your lunch. Less is more. Take a walk. Find some inspiration. Slow and steady she sails, mateys.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When he first came on board, it was (I think) shortly before David Matthews' brief term. Honestly, I couldn't tell their writing apart. When AJ let David go, I figured he and Barry played paper/rock/scissors to determine who stayed. Since then, Barry's honed his style. I seldom check the author of the post before reading it. He and Craggs are the only writers at DS whose work I recognize without having to scroll to the top and check the credit.

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    2. The Real Phin, For RealAugust 17, 2012 at 4:24 PM

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    3. Well, good job removing the troll Marv, though my comment makes a lot less sense now. Teaches me not to hit "refresh" before posting.

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    5. Christ on a cracker, guys, ignore him.

      Delete
    6. @Phin

      Just sit back and enjoy it. I'm sure eventually he'll post his resume and put us both to shame.

      Delete
  7. He's no Tim Tebow, we'll tell you that!

    And yes, we'd like to 'enter' him. Or let him enter us, either way.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh man is tonight gonna be great. Can’t believe she agreed to go out with me! I got my new shirt, I got some flowers, I got a condom! My little brother better get back with my car quick though, and it better not be on empty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don’t know, do you think this was a bad idea? Maybe I can call it off. He probably thinks he’s getting in my pants tonight. Ain’t gonna happen.

      Delete
    2. Dudes, I gots to get my rocks off, like pronto. Let’s roll to the mall.

      Delete
    3. [sees Guy Who Just Cut The Tags Off His New Affliction Shirt]
      [titters]

      Delete
    4. [sees Girl Who Reluctantly Agreed To Go On A Date Tonight]
      [flexes]

      Delete
    5. Shit baby, I just hit up MapQuest, and I got solid directions to pound town. You in?

      Delete
    6. [hops on back of Guy Who Just Cut The Tags Off His New Affliction Shirt’s scooter]

      Delete
    7. Aside from not being able to see the Affliction Guy's image, this was really good. +1

      Delete
    8. Don't leave us hanging, so to speak. DadBoner and SelfAwareRoomba are both slow today ... I need my Internet soap opera fix.

      Delete
    9. Jesus, this was wonderful. +1

      Delete
    10. Dude, that girl looks like she's 15, brochachi.

      /hi five

      Delete
  9. Jordan was simply assigned to the junior varsity rather than the varsity, which was in no way the same thing as being cut
    ...
    Jordan was cut, in both the colloquial and the dictionary sense of the word.

    Your Editor-in-Chief, a master of syntax and an apprentice of logic.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey, master of logic, do you understand the difference between a person's own position and setting out, as factual background, the position taken by another person that you hope to disprove?

    Nevermind. You do not.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @IMG

    Your response would be much more convincing without the tugjob you foisted upon us. I wonder why you never elevated Craggs above AJ when the latter was running the site?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Huh? I have no idea what this means.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It means you spent three paragraphs satirically mocking the idea that one could publish a good story without photos of "junk." The intended implication was that AJ ran a puerile website focused on dick shots while Tommy was interested in deeper issues.

    Your blatantly obvious "satire" was clearly meant to reinforce your support for this position, and to earn you a few Kinja points from your overlord.

    Look, write what you write. Suck up to who you suck up to. Change with the wind when it suits you.

    But don't pretend that we can't all see through it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Anon:

    Sometimes, a dick joke is just a dick joke.

    ReplyDelete
  15. +1, if you're satirizing my "'satire.'"

    [confused look a dog gets when you have to brush its teeth] if you're serious

    ReplyDelete
  16. More like Eddie Murray Settles, amirite?

    /punches self in dick

    ReplyDelete
  17. Give me a fucking break. Essentially what you posted was:

    "Tommy, you should know better than to post really funny stuff without a dick shot. We all know dick shots are what make this site so great. So, please don't post really funny, really insightful, and brilliantly written posts without dick shots. If you do that, then you will be just someone who does something fantastic, something wonderful, and something worthy of passing out Faerie dust on all of your followers without resorting to dick shots.

    / satire"

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hey, Anon!

    I'm letting some of this stay, because I know IMG will handle it his own way and for once you have a little bit of focus and specificity to your hate.

    Also, is the stick up your ass like a drumstick, or more like a hockey stick? I'm guessing the latter, although I'm still not sure which end.

    Toodles-

    Marvypoo

    ReplyDelete
  19. That's inane. I don't even know what I'm being accused of here. Not liking AJ's Deadspin? Liking Tommy's Deadspin? Liking Deadspin no matter who is EIC?

    I've never criticized AJ's Deadspin once. I've said I became a regular reader because of his Linda Cohn piece, which is still one of my all time favorites. I fucking wrote a paean to the guy when he left (was I ingratiating myself to him to get faerie dust on Gawker, which I never read or comment on?).

    I like Deadspin, which is why I spend a lot of time there. It should not come as a surprise that I like the writers and editors.

    Barry has always been favorite. Tommy is great bit doesn't write enough. I really enjoyed AJ's stuff but not as much as those two. (I also am a huge fan of other guys who've left, like Crashtern, Hickey, Luke, etc).

    Anonymous trolls on balogs rank lower than all the above.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Really? Are you that dense? You are being accused of posting a comment that implicitly indicts the old regime with your repeated "satirical" references to dick shots while praising the "new leaders" who don't stoop to the base levels you praised last year, while simultaneously sucking up to the new order.

    I agree - you never criticized AJ's Deadspin once while he was here. That would take balls.

    But, now that he's gone ... Perhaps you and Stu Scott should get together. The brotherhood of front-runners could always use an additional member.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm not sure if I fully understand the technical definition of irony, but "Anonymous" questioning someone's balls for criticism pretty much defines the traditionally accepted concept.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Is there some kind of posting-in-the-COTF-posts strike going on that I'm not aware of? Because if so, I'm...not aware of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Friday afternoons, man.

      Delete
    2. Guy Who Follows the In CrownAugust 17, 2012 at 6:28 PM

      Dear Mr. BH,

      Nice job with more +1s than every COTF winner combined (thankfully Raysism didn't win, given that he matched you and also topped everyone else combined). Did you send the traditional sacrifice to Mr. Newell's cabal? EMS, SSE, Gamboa and Raysism can't survive without their weekly offering. I appreciate that you have had more +1's and praise than any of the above - but that really isn't the point, is it?

      Funny matters. In-crowd association matters more.

      Hopefully you've learned your lesson. Pay attention to your twitter DM - and when we ask, PAY!

      Yours truly,
      The in-crowd

      Delete
    3. @BBAM

      I do get it, but it is funny to me how people leaving work means they have less free time.

      @ Guy

      Just because this is the state of affairs around here, I want to point out that I did not write this, and find all those guys hilarious commenters with far, far funnier comments under their belt than I have. I do detect a small amount of praise toward me there, which I lap up greedily, but just so there's no misunderstanding: I meant that I would expect more people to be in the comments of the post, posting more of their favorites, not that my not being mentioned was somehow a grave omission. Thanks

      Delete
    4. Guy Who Is Not Going To Hunt Around For A Funny Picture Because, Damn It, He's Tired And OldAugust 17, 2012 at 9:16 PM

      @In Crowd Guy

      Are you really suggesting that BronzeHammer is not in this "in-crowd," but Universal Enveloping Algebra is? I don't see any basis for that. Maybe - and I realize I'm going way out on a limb here - the COTF awards aren't based on something as stupid as total +1s, but rather on which jokes the comment moderators liked the best in the interval since the last post about comments?

      Delete
  23. Clever wordplay Marv. Now, about the content....

    ReplyDelete
  24. Replies
    1. That comment irked me--and I will pause here to note again, since [looks above] it seems some haven't grasped this but I do not write these cotf-ish pieces, I just publish them--because while I certainly understand the sentiment, I think it misses the mark.

      That whole post was about not commenting like some kind of asshole. Kinja is here and while it will surely be revised, it does not appear to be going anywhere. So, as suggested by veteran walker-away-because-he's-salty-about-a-change- Dan Doust in that same post, I see little point in writing up a post about the direction of the comments and just saying "Hey this all sucks because of Kinja."

      So, the author wrote a post imploring people to think about what they write and to contribute in some sort of measurable way. Maybe the collective yous think that is a waste of time and energy (and maybe you are correct), but it is exponentially more productive than saying "Hey this sucks because of something outside of anyone's control" and leaving it at that.

      Maybe he was just having a goof and I just wasted a bunch of words but, to me anyway, it's beginning to look more and more like there is literally no way to win with many of you guys.

      I should add that I don't mean to suggest TDK is some kind of dick for the comment, I think he is a hall of fame commenter and would be a no-doubter for the Mr. Newell's Cabal, but it did irk me.

      -Sean

      Delete
    2. I just took it as a joke. I mean, he's made his point about Kinja on here before and can speak for himself, but I didn't see it as subversive or anything.

      I made a joke today that some people (^) thought had a hidden meaning. Believe me, I am neither smart enough, diplomatic enough, nor focused enough to embed anything beyond the obvious. TDK is smart enough, obviously, but I don't think he did that here. I just thought it was a really clever joke, and a hilarious mental image.

      Delete
    3. Also, IMG, that was not directed specifically at you, you just provided the jumping off point.

      P.S. Your check is in the mail, stoolie.

      Delete
    4. Yeah, I just thought it was a really funny analogy.

      He's obviously made it clear that he doesn't like Kinja, just like the rest of us. But there's nothing new/incendiary in the post on that front. Just a really funny comparison.

      Delete
    5. @Steve,

      Yeah, I get that--and I didn't mean to imply it wasn't funny. I just thought it was not necessarily a spot on comparison.

      I think in reality the warden was saying "now that the gate is open and you can clearly run through it, don't run through it like a dickhead. Here are some ways to not run like a dickhead."

      Delete
    6. Yes, that's a closer analogy.

      But not nearly as funny.

      Delete
    7. I'll chime in with the valuable declaration that I come right down the middle on this. It was certainly well done, and I agree with the sentiment behind it, but I'm not big on comments expressing that sentiment. Appreciate it, respect it, didn't laugh at it. And I think TDK would be fine with that, although I hate to speak for him. To me, this one was more about nods of agreement than laughs. And he can certainly do laughers.

      Delete
    8. See, I Just thought it was hilarious. I mean, obviously, it was funny because there are certain parallels to the Kinja approval process, but I didn't take it as serious commentary on the subject (and as Sean and Steve_U said, it was clearly not an apt analogy for someone making a serious argument). And, even if it was, just surgically excise that thought for a second and imagine a warden delivering that speech. It's hysterical.

      At least that's how I read it. If it was a pitchforks and torches thing, I missed it, and I'll probably be the first guy the villagers string up.

      Delete
    9. @Steve
      Ha, that's fair enough.

      @ All of you,

      OK, duly noted.

      [Personal attack leveled at each one of you for disagreeing with me]

      Delete
    10. I was really hoping not to come across as being too dickish with that comment. Just havin' a laugh.

      The image of a warden giving his inmates the what-for while there's a huge hole in the fence just sorta popped in my head as I was reading the piece. It seems a bit out of place to me that there continues to be a somewhat threatening/ominous tone to the Discussion Discussion's when there's no longer a ninja with a sharpened blade hiding in the shadows to back it up. That was supposed to be the root of the joke.

      There's really nothing left to be said when it comes to Kinja bashing. But I'll try my damnedest to come up with jokes that use Kinja as the punchline. There's more meat on that bone than Kirstie Alley!!!!!LOL!11!

      Also, if I wasn't a retarded person (what's the PC way of saying that?), I would've used an analogy about loose standards of admission, not escape... a bouncer at a club, guard at a medieval township, Arizona State, etc.

      Delete
    11. Thanks for chiming in. Hope you get what I was saying.

      Also, a PC way of saying retarded? How bout Dell?(!1!!)

      Delete
    12. @Gamboa

      I definitely hear what you're saying. I'm well aware that although I really was just making a joke, it was a joke was a sharp pointy thing on the end of it. I knew it might piss people off (particularly people who write for Deadspin) and I did have a moment of hesitation before posting it. Ultimately, I had this thought -- How can I write a joke about the comment enforcement being toothless and then pussy out from posting it? If I really feel that the comment regulation is lacking, then I shouldn't worry about how this joke would be received, right? I wouldn't have been entirely surprised or upset if it was deleted or ignored.

      Delete
    13. From the responses I've gotten, maybe I misread things. If so, my bad. It's bad enough when anonymous dickheads shit on things, so I was truly discouraged when I saw (or thought I saw, apparently) it coming from you. I know you've made your feelings clear, but never actually in the comments at Deadspin.

      As for the tone, it may seem weird, I guess. But we all still have standards don't we? Whether they are site-administered or now more personal (or collectively personal). Isn't it a good thing to passionately advocate for upholding those standards? It is, as a wise man once said, just comments on a sports blog, but why not demand more from yourself and those around you and spell out exactly how. Someone might actually wise up after reading a strongly worded post even if there's no threat of bloodshed.

      Delete
    14. @Sean

      I guess the best way to explain my position is this: I'm in favor of improving the quality of the comments in the current commenting system and I'm ALSO in favor of an overhaul of the commenting system into something that actually works.

      It feels like insanity to me to read a column that says "We want comments that look like X, Y, and Z" and think to myself "You HAD a commenting system looked like X, Y, and Z!" And, of course, the response to that is "YOU VILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ZEE PREVIOUS COMMENTING SYSTEM!"

      So, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have an occasional piece to help steer comments in the right direction, but I also think that we shouldn't pretend that Gawker/Deadspin is powerless to pretty much instantly fix the problem. Just close the gate, put the blade back in the ninja's hand and we can all make dick jokes in peace.

      Delete
    15. Just close the gate, put the blade back in the ninja's hand and we can all make dick jokes in peace

      TDK, I like you a lot as a commenter, but I love you as the guy who just gave me the perfect final scene for my ninja-based romcom script.

      Delete
    16. I get what you're saying. I just think, these posts have acknowledged that things have changed. Half of what was lauded in that post today would have been snuffed out by the ninjas a year ago--a point readily admitted in some of the post-Kinja pieces. So, the posts are just saying, now, "here are the way things currently stand: there are no impediments to commenting, but keep these things [X, Y and Z] in mind."

      The fact of the matter is Kinja is not going anywhere anytime soon. It is a completely different environment now and there's no use comparing the two versions. One is here, the other is gone. So, the Discussion Discussion pieces try to work within that new environment, while still trying to uphold some of the...philosophy, I guess, from the previous system. And I would say Deadspin is powerless to change anything. Kinja is not Craggs's idea. Anyway, that's how I would approach reading these Discussion Discussions.

      I also think that whereas before, the COTF-ish pieces were aimed more directly at the regular commenters, these recent ones are perhaps more for the uninitiated.

      Anyway, I don't think anyone is deaf to any of this. Kinks and changes are always being worked on. It's much like the constitution in that it [makes it easy to get yourself a gun and go on a murderous rampage] is a living thing.

      -Sean

      Delete
    17. @TDK

      I know I'm the last guy anyone would ask about this, but I'm drunk. I TOTALLY agree with the sentiment, of course, you're spot on. But I didn't +1 because I really didn't laugh until I (much later) divorced myself from the message.

      You crafted a truly funny joke with serious undertones, as you well know. The problem is, while I agree 100% with what you're saying, it's projected at the wrong people. The people who are reading what we write there - the Ninjas, Sean, Craggs, the Deadspin staff - are as powerless as we are. If you could somehow drop a brilliant satire on the desk of Nick Denton or his board members or whatever, I'd be right there with you. It just felt like throwing an overstuffed manilla envelope of complaints on the desk of the guys who, while they're dealing with a litany of other (well-intentioned, perhaps) complaints, are ALSO dealing with the people we're complaining about.

      It's not really your responsibility to figure out who's reading your comment, though, and quite honestly, you can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned - I don't have to tell you again how much milk I've snorted at your expense, but anyway, I felt like I had done enough anti-Kinja flag-waving and that piling on might be counter-intuitive.

      Also, come around more.

      Delete
    18. Jesus Christ, +1s to all of you. This is, by far, the most entertaining discussion of Discussion Discussions I've ever read.

      Delete
    19. I guess my only counterpoint is that not every joke, even one with a delicious meaningful filling wrapped in directedness and snark, is necessarily a call to action. I understand that Craggs and the writers/editors of Deadspin have little to no say in what's happening with the comments. I know that Kinja is a huge investment for Gawker and they aren't going to abandon it because the dick jokers on Deadspin don't like it. It makes me sigh, but it is what it is.

      But why can't I/we make a shitty joke every once in a while about how we hate this system without hurting so many feelings? Sometimes I just want to write a funny (subjective) metaphorical tale about how much Kinja eats it. I'm the last guy who wants to see a comment section full of "KINGA FUCKIN SUCKS!!!" But if I want to make a joke in the same style that's usually appreciated on Deadspin that uses Kinja (or some nuance of the system, like how the faeries are having a hard time keeping the assholes off the playground) as the punchline, why should I feel trepidation about hitting the "submit" button? Kinja is so obviously an issue for many of the longtime commenters that to NOT have any jokes about Kinja on an article about the comment section would be strange. Why not let us -- hell, why not encourage us to -- let free some frustrations at the appropriate moment (in a Discussion Discussion)?

      Delete
    20. @TDK

      I guess my only counterpoint is that not every joke, even one with a delicious meaningful filling wrapped in directedness and snark, is necessarily a call to action

      So I made this for nothing?

      Delete
    21. @TDK

      Amen. It's like Dr. Freud said above, sometimes a dick joke is just a dick joke.

      I don't want to speak for Sean, but I can understand how it gets difficult to differentiate a legit harmless joke from yet another complaint about the system when you're inundated in the latter. I mean, it never bothers me if a friend gives me a playful punch in the shoulder, but if I'm getting jumped by the Crips and attacked from all sides, I might not be able to distinguish a playful punch from all the real ones. I guess what I'm saying is that you're my friend in this, and all the people complaining about Kinja ad nauseam are terrible forced analogies conceived at 3:45 am with a hangover. Anyway, you want to stop punching me and get these fucking Crips off of me?

      Delete
  25. I have to say, it really bothers me that people are in love with the ObscureSimpsonsReference comment. I'm not dissing it - it's not a bad comment - but I'm uncomfortable with it getting the amount of love it's getting without any mention of the fact that it's a fairly direct copy of an earlier comment.

    Now, I can't find the original comment, and this will make me seem like a total dick. But I'm virtually certain EMS made that comment once before, and if anyone can find it and link it, I'd sure appreciate it.

    At any rate, yeah, the ObscureSimpsonsReference comment is fine, but it's definitely towing the line of being a hack-job. And I'm a hack myself, so I should know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obscure Simpsons Reference ripped off Eddie Murray Sparkles' Stewardesses joke, just like my Guy Who name ripped off Michael Rapaport's line in the Chappelle's Show Popcopy skit.

      I highly doubt that Obscure Simpsons Reference came across that joke concept. Sort of bullshit.

      Delete
    2. Wait, are we agreeing or disagreeing? I'm incredibly dense.

      If we're agreeing, fuck yeah! Fuck those people who are wrong about stuff!

      If we're disagreeing, fuck you, I'm outta here.

      /makes "L" with thumb and forefinger on forehead with whichever hand is the wrong one

      It just seems unlikely to me that two Deadspin commenters would choose the same very specific concept at random, especially since the EMS comment was a genuine show-stopper. Still, there's no reason I can't be wrong about this. But I felt the need to point it out, if for no other reason than nobody else had and it made me uncomfortable. The original deserves a shout.

      /does The Running Man in reverse out of the room

      Delete
    3. We agree. The most recent "type with the left hand on keys on the left side of the keyboard because the right hand is missing or otherwise occupied" joke is almost certainly a knowing ripoff. It it isn't, then wildass coincidences are running wild all over our faces, and I'm going to buy a lottery ticket so I can win TWO powerball jackpots in one week.

      Delete
    4. So we agree: I am the Batman. It's like I told my wife - these jammies don't lie.

      To the Batmobile, Robin!

      /grabs dog in ill-fitting homemade Robin costume
      //hurls dog out second story window

      Delete
  26. Replies
    1. This was great, really. Internet performance art. +1.

      Delete
  27. I loved TDK's comment for a variety of reasons, not the last of which because it reminded me of a great sketch on one of my favorite shows of all time, "The State", called "Prison Break." It's on Season 3 if any of you have access to the DVDs.

    BTW, I'm not saying TDK copied the idea by mentioning this (he mentioned above the idea just came to him), just saying it really is a hilarious idea, and the sketch is very funny if you can find it. I tried hunting it down online, but the best I could do was finding the episode for purchase on Amazon for $1.99. That show never got the respect it deserved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know that both Uwe and I are fanatical State fans, as well as The 10, Wet Hot American Summer, The Baxter, etc. So good.

      And now I have tape all over my face.

      Delete
    2. I'm in that camp too, IMG. And it was Season 4, Episode 5, because I just tried to find that sketch online. If you have huluplus, here you go.

      I still need to see The 10.

      Delete